Sunday, January 05, 2014
"Not all those who wander alone are lost".
Thalai Thavasam

It was her Thalai Thavasam - 1st year anniversary prayers as per the Hindu horoscope thingy. I don't quite know what exactly it is called but apparently that date never coincides with the exact day of an individual's demise. So her Thalai Thavsam came on the 2nd January 2014. It is almost going to be a year since you left us, guardian angel but I can assure you that the pain is still ever so fresh. In 2 days time (7th January), it would be exactly a year since we rushed you to the hospital because you had stopped breathing and the very day we learnt that your liver had stopped functioning and also the very day I got to know that your days were numbered. All those moments are totally etched so deeply in my mind that no matter how many years it may take, that memory will never fade away. A couple of times as we were praying, I could feel the depth of the loss and it was just too painful that we couldn't control our tears but well, I know too well that you only left the world but you're still there right beside us. You never left our sides. That I know. Hence, our guardian angel :)
I love you angel. I can see the works of your magic too vividly and I thank you for being there for me during my darkest moments and extending a hand to pull me up from all those turbulence. The faith in you and your omnipresence has propelled me to start the year on a high note. With God and you by my side, I just know that I am not alone and that, achieving all my goals is going to be alot more easier. I love you, angel.
"A dreamer who fulfills his/her dreams die with no regrets".
So I had the most rocking start to 2014. I don't wish to jinx it but I never had such a rocking start in a very long time and I thank you, God and my guardian angel for it.
My 1st day as a Creative Writer (Screen/Script Writer) - (I know the designation seems long but apparently this is what I am called) was fantabulous. It's like I feel I am finally home. It is home, the place where I feel the best. Venga and Haider Ali were both amazing. Venga sir had been treating me and the colleagues for the past 2 days and it's just such a joy to go for lunch all together and have so much of fun. I even got chauffeured to the temple for my prayers by Mr Venga and as he was driving me, he told me so much of tips for my own self-development. To make matters alot more sweeter, I've got an old friend working there. Steven, the ultra talented editor and a very good friend of mine is like my colleague. So I was bugging him whenever he was editing and I even asked him to teach me :P ! Well, there isn't a limit for learning, is there ;) !
Naturally I am the sort of person who cannot be intellectually-stagnant. The instant I feel intellectually-stagnant, I get really bored and restless. That's when my mind would start succumbing to boredom and my self-esteem would plunge. So in this job, I have to like squeeze my brain to come up with a fresh new ideas every single day. Everyday we have a discussion - especially myself, Mr Venga, Mr Haider and 2 APs and we work on the plot from scratch, ask ourselves a few questions, analyse the plot, evaluate it and firm it up and that would just be scene 1 of the first episode. Yea, we really have alot of thinking to do and that really really really makes me SO FUCKING happy. It's like I don't even realise that time runs out. That's how much I am enjoying my job.
Like for the very first time in my life, I feel that I am doing something that I love and am being paid for it. And it makes me feel extra proud (not like the bragging proud here) but truly proud of myself is when I realise that I got headhunted for this job by 2 veterans of media. I don't know, but thank you God and my guardian angel.
So they gave me the screenplay and scripts of 'Vetri' to look through and to have a rough idea on the template and it was a sheer joy to realise how the "infant" project grew up to the "adult stage". Like, we give life to each and every characters based on the way we characterise them. Like its like a beauty to see your infant growing up to an adult right before you on the big screen. That is extreme satisfaction. Absolute bliss.

So I wrote my 1st ever script for the 1st scene of the 1st episode. Like initially I didn't have the Tamil software and I couldn't type out in Tamil and I only typed in romanised Tamil because I actually forgot the whole "kuril" "Nedil", the "na, naa, naaa" and so on and I told Mr Venga that I feel very shy to type out in Tamil because as a Tamil Literature student, I feel super embarrassed to note that I've forgotten how to write in Tamil let alone type. But Mr Venga was soooo sweet, he simply asked me to try and I had a bloody hard time to like type in Tamil because I forgot how the whole Tamil keyboard looked like and I actually used Online Transliteration to type in Tamil :P ! But when I saw the final product, I couldn't stop myself from beaming from ear to ear. I was so proud of myself that I shamelessly sent a small section of my 1st ever script to my loved ones - hehehe :P ! So I can't wait for April because the drama will be aired then and it's a 72 episode drama and yours truly will be the screenplay/scirptwriter. Ahhhhh, excited. I just can't wait to see how the whole thing would unfold itself. Like there is so much of work to do and I totally love the fact that I bring the work home and sacrifice a bit of my sleep to turn the thinking cap on and to plan/map out the screenplay to discuss with the veterans the very next day. Today I can say that even if I die right now, I wouldn't quite regret because I had the chance to live my dream for these 2 days. I know now that
I won't die a dreamer but rather as a dreamer who achieved her dream :)
"To capture what my heart and eyes see".
One of my new year resolution for this year is to work on my other interest - photography. Oh yes, I totally forgot to include this part in my 'year-end entry' but allow me to include it here. Firstly, thank you for one of the best birthday gifts ever - the DSLR. I didn't even touch it when it was first presented to be because of the situation that I was in. I only used it for the very first time for 'Thaipusam' that year and I was kinda lost and I never explore it at any juncture. I completely stopped using it after 11th May 2013 and I wanted to sell it off until a gem of a person spoke me out of it.
So let me just emphasise it here. It's not that I cannot purchase my own DSLR or whatever but rather, I am fully aware of the amount of OTs, the amount of self-sacrifice involved in this gift that I got for my birthday and I am totally grateful for it because not many would do that. The value of this DSLR is alot more than the market value because of the sentimental reasons behind it and for that reason alone, I won't sell it off or even damage it in any way. This is purely done out of respect for the sentimental value that this camera carries and I am definitely not an ungrateful person to forget all that and simply sell it or cause any damage to it because this camera is just priceless and no amount of value can match it up. So thank you for the camera.
In addition, I should be thanking Atheeq for telling me to use the manual mode. I mean I definitely was a noob with regards to the settings of the DSLR but Atheeq gave me the encouragement to confidently use the manual mode and my new photography buddy - Vel has been motivating me alot too. So at this juncture, I am still exploring the basics of the aperture, ISO, F stop and exposure and even lightroom. So give me a while and I would definitely master it. I will.
So the mastery starts from 2014. A rocking one it was and it will be.
Artistic and improved shots will come your way. I promise :)
"An undying passion"
So as of now, I would be extremely tied down with work that I would hardly have time for myself. So whenever I have the time, I would pen my thoughts out on my blog. Well, probably for people who visit my blog with the good intentions.

Like its for people like her. For the past few months I had been receiving very interesting accolades and praises from random people and no, I don't wish to brag about it and post pictures of it but rather, I am very touched by this one girl I met at a musical event. I don't know her prior to that musical event and we spoke for the very first time on that day itself and that was when I knew of her existence. So she added me on Facebook and she had been liking my statuses here and there and one day, she dropped me a message saying she really loved my writings. Soon after, she followed my blog and a few other writings on some online websites (I would talk more about them later) and so on. She always drops messages to compliment me on my writings and ask me to never stop writing. So well, I may have grown to this level because of people like her. So my dearest thangatchi, thank you so much for the support and love. People like you are the catalyst behind my growth. Thank you so much. "I aspire to inspire people before I expire" and I guess I am getting closer to that dream day by day. Thank you God and my guardian angel.

Yes, to be better than yesterday for a better me for the tomorrow. A dream that I am working towards this year and my sights will never falter till the goal is reached. For a rocking year and for everything I had lost in 2013. Cheers to my rocking 2014 and of course, for all those who're sharing this same dream with me, come take my hand, we will do it together.
You got coloured @
7:06 pm