"Aashiqui 2" - After a long time I watched a beautifully-scripted love story. Really loved it. I think I can watch it a hundred times. Many singers will relate to this flick and for me, I have a special interest in music and so yea, added reason to tug at my heartstrings.

And Shreya Ghosal - seriously what are you sia. Fucking fabulous voice. You made me go crazy over "Sun Raha Hai Na Tu". OMG ... seriously, that was heavenly. I really loved her birgas in that song. Bloody awesome. And the voice really matched Shraddha Kapoor. A very simple looking girl who fucking performed in this film ! Really, fantastic performances from both Aditya Roy Kapoor and Shraddha Kapoor ! If you haven't watched it, please go watch. You won't regret and yea, it's a very heartwrenching love story, so have your tissue box nearby when you watch it.

Wahhhh Shreya Ghosal (after my Chitra Madam) is my joy pill la !

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=SfW2JuVpOGQ#t=48s (Sun Raha Hai Na Tu by SHREYA GHOSAL !!!!!)

A dementor

Basically they're soulless creatures who're touted to be one of the most 'foulest creatures' on earth. Yes, they're simply a figment of JK Rowling's imagination but the author herself mentioned that she created this 'character' after her clinical depression. In short, according to her, dementors are a metaphor for depression. Anyways why am I talking about dementors here ?. Well, read on.

Basically it's my contention that many dementors are revolving around this planet of ours. Frankly, I don't understand the cheap thrill of these dementors. They simply find such joy in "sucking off" the happiness of people around. I mean dementors break relationships, friendships and everything else you hold dear to your heart. Honestly I can't fathom a concrete reason as to why they would act in such a way. You mean there is such joy in robbing people of their happiness ?. And the worst thing of all is, at least in Hogwarts, we know the shape/appearance and etc of the dementors but in reality, these dementors deep low and bask in the skins of normal human beings and it's just so hard to separate them from their human skin.




How do we fend off dementors ?. Of course, we can conjure up an "Expecto Patronum" spell.
But in real life, how do we conjure up such a spell ?.

Well, I sincerely believe in the works of karma. When you rob people of their happiness, God will ensure that someone out there will simply do the same to you. Never underestimate the powers of Karma. God will ensure he conjures up his 'Expecto Patronum' that will expunge your sinful acts out of the veil that you cover them with. You will meet your death real soon. The death of your acts that is.

I'M FUCKING HAPPY TODAY !!!!!!!

I'll copy the reason out from my Facebook profile itself.

"The exam results are out and I’m really so happy to say that I’ve done really well. It’s like one of my best results in my University life. I have officially bagged my 1st A-grade for my examination (apart from scoring for assignments alone), I got an A for my Research Paper and managed to pull up my disastrous GPA from the slumps. I definitely wouldn’t have done it without some divine intervention.

I really despised my Year 1 results and made a stern mental note to improve myself. It was definitely a swim against the tide because the modules, the subjects and the stress just got the better of me and to add on, I am also working full-time and trust me, it wasn’t easy to attain the equilibrium. In addition, I was having so much of unnecessary problems during my examination period (considering that those unwanted problems started 2 days before my paper) and it was really a herculean task to control my mind and emotions and to focus on my papers. All I ever asked God was, to walk this tough journey with me and He did it. Thank you so much for your genuine love, God. I definitely wouldn’t have done it without you. My fantabulous grades are a testament of your unconditional love.

No matter how tough the going gets, always remember to brave the weather and to soldier on. The happiness one gets from reaping the fruits of your labour with God himself by your side is just unbelievable. I dedicate this to God, to those who believed in me despite the circumstances and to those genuine friends who kept encouraging me.

Now, looking forward to my Semester 2. Let's roll !".

Well, I finally said "yes" and went all out for it. My 1st ever tattoo. I wrote the reason behind the tattoo on my Facebook profile and I copy that reason here.

My very 1st tattoo and something that I have an emotional attachment to. Not an intricate design but a simple design from the heart. More often that not, we cannot extend our control to the external factors that may dishearten us and I am very guilty of showing my weaker side too. But weakness is your greatest nemesis and a biggest weapon of destruction for those who would want to see you fall. So this tattoo will constantly remind me of my own strength and to never succumb to my very own weakness. Every inch of pain that I encountered was a reminder of the lessons that i have learnt thus far. So it's all about being strong and braving the tough weather.

Anyways, I dedicate this tattoo to all those who gave me that pain. Every inch of this pain is a stark reminder of the lessons that had been bestowed to me. I love it. 



I had it done at Johnny two thumbs tattoo studio :). I had mentally prepared myself to brave the pain and even raised my threshold for pain. The tattoo artist started with the "g" and when the needle touched my wrist, I went like "what the fuck, its manageable" but I still told myself that I was not going to look at how I was getting inked - well I wasn't that prepared to watch the needle penetrating my skin :P and when he went on to the "S", "T", "B" and "E", I almost died. Well, I guess its because the veins are located around that area. So yes.



 My brotherlove - Guru. Man of steel with the brother of steel. Thank you awesome little one.


Finally it was a prefect night out with my brotherlove. I was really so so so happy that someone who meant alot to me was present when I got inked for the very first time. A very special memory of mine :) ! Thank you so much for everything brotherlove (you know what you have done thus far) and I'm sorry for deleting and blocking you once upon a time. Well strangely, I couldn't remain having you blocked for so long (well you meant alot to me). People or even things may try to separate us but I guess the bond is too strong to be severed. Thank you for everything all over again, brotherlove. Like I told you, you are my magician :)

Too fitting :)

Less than 24 hours to make the decision.

Anyways I'll be making one of my life's most important decisions this Friday. Frankly, I feel like as if I'm paralysed with fear. I just don't know if I would somehow, someday regret that decision. So it's all about a "yes" or a "no". Less than 48 hours ++ to make that decision. Ahhh, tough decision.


Anyways today someone came all the way to my workplace to have lunch with me. Nope, I am not talking about a potential boyfriend here. Well teacheramma is on holiday since it's the JUNE holidays and she booked me for lunch. So yes. It was rather a short meet-up session but frankly we spoke alot. We're in the same boat and she understands - she really does. She had her own fair share of shit and for once, I heard how her sincere reasons were brushed aside as "excuses" as well. My only point is, if you can't understand the music, you would probably label a dance routine as a madman's public display of insanity. So whatever she told me was like really upsetting (such painful shit) and it made me think alot. Really did. Hahaha, anyways I tricked her by saying that I was from "Purple Table Primary School". I still can't believe I did that :P

And I still can't believe I was ogling at SHS when he came into the office for his matter - well he's having his trial now. I really think he wasted his intelligence ! Bloody hell - 2 degrees under his belt and doing a double major at a renowned local university, juggling investments, CEO of a few investment companies, LKY scholarship recipient and etc etc. He's got such impressive portfolio and to top it off, he's good looking and has got a very good body. I read his blog and woah, he's a good thinker. AND of all things, he's slapped with multiple OM charges !! ARGGHHHHH, what a kodumai ! For this particular reason, he was expelled from the university. I don't know man, it's a sheer waste of intelligence. Seriously. His trial for this week would end tomorrow ... and so, I can just spend time ogling. Hahahhaa.


Adioz amigo.

Ragha's cover page. He's one helluva thinker. I really love engaging in conversations with him because he is one of those guys who can be very impatial and his comments/thoughts/arguments are always dangerously painted with impartiality. Something that I admire in him. Hey you pig, I miss our RP days la. Faster meet me.

Anyways, I am like so so so so so so impressed with someone. No wait, relax. Don't worry, it's not a guy. It's a girl and again, don't worry. I'm straight. Wow, I feel so fucking attracted to her intelligence and talent. It's like she's one of the rare ones who has the looks, talent, intelligence and fucking hell - her drive to serve the community. WOW, you're impressive girl. It's like she's a perfect role model. She's so fucking smart that she's received awards from the top-notch leaders in Singapore for academic excellence. Really impressed. Sometimes you need people like her to remind you of your own desires and goals. I mean you tend to get carried away with unworthy issues and suddenly you would have realised that shit, time is running out. So thank you, RM. You're very impressive :D. I'll speak more of her on vitzspeaks.blogspot.

Word !

Today I am going to blog about something serious and well, I got a concrete reason to do so.

Issue #1


I have a question to ask. Why are you so bothered to be updated about my blog entries, why are you reading it and sharing it with the friends and even asking them to have a read. Why ?. I am so "yucky", I have a serious "obsession", you don't want anything to do with me, I broke your "backbone", I "ill-treated" you so much and etc . So why are my blog entries being read by you and that too, you even get people to have a read. Why ?. Honestly, I can't fathom a reason. I honestly can't. I don't understand why you must be so updated about the life of the person whom you have downgraded so much, the life of the person who ill-treated you so much, the life of the person who treated you like a dog. I am such a vicious being right, so why is my life being scrutinised by you ?. Hey c'mon, all my thoughts are peppered with so much of 'yuckiness' just like me. So why ?!

Issue #2

I just want to clear this thing with all those who're reading my blog entry now. Trust me on this, all of you have skeletons hidden in your closet. All of you have secrets hidden deep down. And right now, a certain subject of mine is doing the rounds around the clique, right ?. I am being judged because of that, right ?. Ok let me be so frank here. A few individuals within the same clique also have the same past as I did. So why is my past exaggerated here and the other individuals are off the sight ?. Why ?. So anything I do must be blown out of proportion and what the 2 other individuals do can go unnoticed. Why ?. The answer is simple. Because the mother of all judgments is plainly associated to me. The 2 other individuals aren't associated to the mother of judgments in anyway. So what they do is ignored and even unnoticed. So I am very interested to know how fair is this ?. If I am subjected to such a treatment and if people whom I thought were my friends can tune their mindset with that of the mother of judgment's, why aren't they subjected to the same treatment ?.

Issue #3

This is particularly going out to a certain individual. All this while I had told you that you easily take sides. I told you that it was always the 3 vs 1 and you guys told me that it was never that way. I did tell you that you made more efforts to understand one friend as compared to how much you would take the effort to understand mine. You guys tell me that it was never that way and things were solved back then. But my question is, you told me that you didn't judge but now you judged. Why such a discrepancy ?. On the 11th of May, you told me that your impression of me never changed, harped on how everyone makes mistakes and how I was important to the clique and etc etc. The from then on, what efforts did you take to check on this friend of yours ?. I knew deep down that your impression had changed. I mean, you took the effort to understand what the other friend had to say, what the other friend felt and what not. So am I wrong to say that your impression was getting altered as you ingrained what the other friend had to say or feel ?. So am I wrong to conclude back then that you were always inclined towards that friend of yours ?. I had this gut feeling and based on that, I removed you from my Facebook account because I held serious concerns with regards to the depth of our friendship. I knew you would never want to make the effort to be impartial. You did take some efforts back then but this serious an issue proved your mettle. Trust me, everyone have their own inclinations in every other way. We all have a certain soft corner for only some people and we tend to act according to it. But when serious issues like this are concerned, the most decent thing a friend who belong to a clique would expect is for her friends to be impartial. But I guess, I just expected something too extraordinary from you. Let me tell you, if I had chosen to be partial, you wouldn't be in a position to have your relationship with a friend repaired. I'm not bragging about what I did, but I am reminding you - on how being impartial is essential for a friendship. But nonetheless, thank you.

Issue #4

I just got to know that 2 people whom I haven't said anything to, got to know about my stuff. As I had mentioned earlier and as how much a friend had mentioned earlier too, this is a serious issue and it must be handled well. So on Friday why did you people tell another friend about what is happening within the clique and not direct him to ask me about it directly ?. Do you realise that you are literally planting your train of thoughts to someone ?. Now I don't give a fuck as to who is judging me and who is not. But I would want that person to know things from my mouth. I am the person who is involved in this shit. You guys have your perspective with regards to it. How can you plant your thoughts into someone else's mind ?. So the bottom line is, you would want the person to follow suit with your thoughts ?. None of you (except for 2) bothered to ask me about it. You guys depended on hearsay. You guys depended on what the mother of judgments had to say. Her perspective definitely traveled far, I would admit that. Anyways, thank you so much for doing what you we guys had done to K and M. You guys said I was too important and I would never diminish in value like them but sorry, it's quite obvious already. Thank you for that, again.

Issue #5

Please understand this ah, no one gave me a chance to explain things from my end. It was conclusions, assumptions and judgments. Simple as that. I came forth and briefly told 2 people about it. That's all. No one knows anything at all. So before you decide to rant your mouth, I am telling this to you - please look at your own self. Are everyone in the clique as virtuous as how they are expected to be ?. Think carefully, even you my friend are guilty of not being virtuous. But it's just that you're not associated with the mother of judgments, hence you're freed. If you really think those with upright virtuosity deserve such good treatment, then you would be off the chains.


Issue #6

Last but not least. I never moved away from the clique because I had wanted to. This clique is driven by 4 core members of the clique and we have another 4 who operate on a superficial level. Of the 4 core members, I knew 2 were already against me and honestly, I didn't see a point in holding onto the friendship when you - supposedly closest to me can judge me so superficially. Hence, I know how the clique would function henceforth and so, I decided to move away for a buffer time. If you had known me so well, you would know that I had planned for the Batam trip itself. I suggested going to places like Batam. I did it. I know how fucking excited I was. I was the first to transfer my money as compared to any of you'll. Since I did my fucking research paper, I had always wanted to go for a fucking break because I really needed it. But the one and only reason why I am choosing to forgo it is because I want to stay away from the 2 of you'll. And now, I think my decision was definitely a good one - considering how your perspectives is going around the clique. Well done.

Last but not least, to my friends, please don't say you're checking up on my blog, using someone else's FB account to check on me because you care. If you really cared from deep down, you wouldn't even be doing what you're doing right now. If you cared, you would want to hear me out instead of hurting me like this. So really, please don't generalise your activities under the "I still care about Vitz" shit. That illusion is very depressing. It really is.

And no, I am not painting a sorrowful picture of myself and getting in line with producers from the Hindi industry to make a film. If I had wanted to do that, it would be really easy. My blog, my thoughts, my rants. So go on, JUDGE ME :)


I finally met this fella exactly after 3 weeks. Had a good chat with him. Thank you for everything Logesh and don't worry, I can understand and I can feel you. Thank you for treating me with such importance. Like I said, I missed you. Really did and I'll catch you around :) .

Because for us, what unites us is stronger than what can possibly divide us. Through thick and thin, the reason what unites us, continues to show its upperhand. 

For some, what unites us is stronger than what divides us. But for others, what divides us is stronger than what unites us.

"Naduvula Konjam Pakkatha Kaanom" = Friendship.


OMG, I've heard people saying that this film is so funny and etc etc but I swear I wasn't attracted to the comedy element in this film. But wow, I totally envy the friendship between the 4 guys and even more, I'm totally in love with the bond between the hero (Vijay Sethupathi aka Prem) and his bestfriend Saras. It was just too beautiful.

Basically Prem gets diagnosed with short term memory loss 2 days before his wedding and his friends, particularly his bestfriend would really be there for him throughout and get him married even before he regained his memory.

You know, Prem is really lucky to have a bestfriend who understands him so well. I mean if Saras wanted, he could have ignored Prem's dilemma and not put himself into such deep shit. But Saras had Prem's interest at heart and he really was there for Prem through thick and thin. Salutes to such a friendship. Infact I need to give salutes to the 3 friends too. I mean they could have all ignored Prem's situation due to the dire consequences but none of them left his side although Saras gave his all.

This particular dialogue really brought tears to my eyes because it showed the depth and value of Prem and Saras's friendship and so I posted it on Facebook.

This incident happened just before Prem tied the thaali on his girlfriend's neck. I mean since he had memory loss, he forgot that he actually had a girlfriend. So this is the dialogue that I totally loved. Saras kept using that particular phrase since he realised that Prem was listening to him.


Saras : Prem, Naan sonnaa kaepiyaa, maathiyaa ?


Prem: Dei, nee sonnaa building-laenthu kuthipaen maatthum illaamal, yaarunu theriyaathae ponnu kaluthulaey thaali-kudae katuvaen.


I know the impact seems less severe as I type it out but watch it with the movie and you will feel it. To make things even more deep, Prem actually had this bond with Saras all because Saras helped him with his homework when they were in Primary School. It sounds so pathetic but it explains alot about the bond between friends.

See friendship isn't about promises. Friendship isn't about breaking promises. Friendship isn't about taking sides. Friendship isn't about judging another friend. Friendship isn't about money. Friendship isn't about class. Friendship isn't about having a clique. Friendship isn't about gifts. Friendship isn't about time. Friendship isn't about sex. Friendship isn't about phonecalls. Friendship isn't about examinations. Friendship isn't about distance and we can go on and on.

True friendship is all about how you as a friend fulfill your duty as a friend. If you as a so-called friend choose to believe in the opinion of just 1 friend and choose to go against the other friend, then what kind of a friend would you end up to be ?. If you as a so-called friend choose to believe in your own preconceived notions and expect your so-called friend to abide by your own principles and values, then what kind of a friend do you make ?. If you as a so-called friend choose to have friends who belong to a certain cast then what kind of a friend would you make ?. If you as a so-called friend choose to listen to the rumours, then what kind of a friend would you make ?.

To be honest, friendship comes without an expectation. Having good communication, being transparent, showering a friend with money and gifts tends to strength a friendship. But the true test of a friend comes when his/her notions are challenged. A true test of a friendship comes when a friend is in need. A friend who never leaves a friend's side will always be placed at a pedestal. Friends are people who we choose. We have the liberty to choose and we can elevate or demote them accordingly. Trust me, anyone can have a million of friends from all around. But there are always only a few people with whom he/she would have a certain bond. But on the other side of an argument people would say that you can always buy friendship with money - I don't know about that notion. I don't really know. I haven't seen it with my own eyes and so I cannot comment on that. A bond that establishes between a friend is as pure and as unblemished as it can be. You can even compare it to the sanctity of the umbilical cord between a mother and a child. Like the mother creates this bond with the child with no expectation, right ?. I mean I haven't seen a mother who goes like "Oh yes, my son/daughter is going to be the next USA president and so I need to have a bond with him/her now". It happens without an expectation and so, a bond with a friend happens that way too - with no expectation. I mean I haven't seen someone who goes to one person with the intention like "ok, I need to be his friend today because tomorrow he will strike the jackpot and he would pass me $ 900 000". Some may do that. Some may establish friendships with a friend due to such ill intentions but do they create a special bond with one another at the end of the day ?. I wonder.

We shouldn't harp about the strength of a bond when we know that it wasn't created in the first place. I don't think a bond that establishes between a friend disappears that easily. Time and tide can strain it but I don't think it would cause the bond to disappear. We shouldn't shamelessly go around telling others how much we loved our friends when deep down, we know we would leave their side in distress or judge their actions with a certain expectation that derives from thy mind. Yes/no ?. Also, taking sides without a clear perception of what a situation might call for - how does it even explain about the bond ?. When you take sides, it already shows or rather reveals what you want your heart to resonate with. When you take sides, it already reveals that you only heard the voice that was nearest to you. So how does it even explain about the bond that you so-call talk about ?. See we all know what friendship entails but too often, people choose to show the upperhand of their biasness. We all have a certain bias towards a varying group of individuals. No matter how neutral we try to be, we would always be bias and examples prove it. They certainly do. So at this juncture, what bond were we talking about ?.

It's just very simple. Yes-bond. No-bond. No in-betweens. When there is no-bond, we shouldn't say it was a yes-bond or trying to be a yes-bond. Makes sense ?

My new pair and I am so in love with it :)

Anyways, I saw a confession from the Gay Confession FB page and the guy whose confession on judgmental friends I really liked confessed once again and this time his confession really freaked the hell out of me. I mean I don't know how serious he is but he was claiming that he is going to commit suicide. You know they say that friends are those who help you out in times of distress but sadly they are also the ones who will push you to distress. Sad case. For some reasons, I can really relate to his pain because I do know how painful it is when close ones decide to judge another too easily.

My personal opinion is, friends will never judge. Judgments are superficial and its employed by those who know you on a shallow level or by those who don't know you well. But friends are different. They went through thick and thin with you and they ought to know your story behind your name. Friends are those who would reprimand you for your wrong-doings instead of judging you and labelling you with all kinds of names. And this guy is like contemplating on committing suicide. Seriously, I can't believe friendship can drive one to this bad an end ! My opinion - you can give your life for those friends who have the worth and value for but giving your life for a friend who decided to jump the gun and judge you is stupid ! I mean they are not even worth it at all. Damn.

Anyways I am going to post his confession here. Have a read, readers. For those who have a FB account, do see the comments that people have commented on those confessions. Trust me, its a complete slap on the face for those who judge others despite knowing both their name and their story.

New confession from the Gay Confession FB page

HELP NEEDED.


I posted a confession* and it was published on this website on the 30.5.13 at 2000 and it started of as "I am in a serious confusion and I need help. Please don't mock at this confession. I really need help"...


I am going to confess here that my bestfriend and my close friends somehow tracked that it was me. I think the incidents were too obvious. So my bestfriend did the unthinkable and I am really so hurt and down that I am becoming suicidal.


I had mentioned that my bestfriend read through my Facebook messages and found out a deep dark secret of mine and he decided to ostracize me along with my closefriends. So once they found out about my confession on this page, they decided to avenge for my act. My bestfriend went on to tell my mother who I really was and what I have done so far. My parents had been suspicious but now my mother found out. My father and I got into a very heated argument and eventually I moved out of my parents house. I am all alone now. It hurts real bad.


Look I don't care if you're going to track me down but let me tell you, it hurts real bad. I trusted you and I have done so much for you and yet you chose to stab me in the back and front my dearest bestfriend ? Is being gay a big sin ? So at the end of the day you want me to be a structure of what you call "true friend" ? I might be gay and I might have made my mistakes and in what way have I downgraded as a friend value ? Don't you realise its all your mindplay ? Did you pause to think about me .. the shit I went through ? No. All you ever cared about was your own value and principles but does that means it must be applied to me too ? I am gay yes but why must you judge me ? Wasnt I a brother of yours ?


You said you told my mother because you considered my 'welfare' at heart. so now tell me what kind of welfare is this ? I am ALL FUCKING ALONE. My parents, my ex, my friends...no one. I am all alone. Thanks to you. Thanks to you for taking my interest to your heart. To my close friends, so you guys decided to be judgmental too. So I am not a fucked up friend because of all this ? Thank you so much brothers.


My bestfriend you couldnt even understand my pain, my low points, my personal battles and you decided to do all that .. so in what way were you being a true friend to me ? So friendship is all about who fit your mindplay right ? Thanks.. I am hell bend on ending it all. I dont see a point in living as a hermit anymore. When I pluck up the courage to do it please don't come for my wake. All I ever wanted was for you to understand but I guess I was wrong.. too wrong.


Older confession from the Gay Confession page

I am in a serious confusion and I need help. Please don't mock at this confession. I really need help.


I was in a 2 year relationship with someone and he had a string of affairs behind my back. I remained loyal to him and later on he dumped me. I really missed him and I went crazy without him. I miss everything about him. His touch, his smell, his face and everything. I went drinking with a friend of mine. I never knew he was gay as well. The alcohol brought out the sadness in me and I broke down. He consoled me and it escalated to a kiss and sooner or later we made out and everything happened. To be frank its not as if I planned to do it with him but my heartbreak made me do it. It just happened.


Since I realised that I could be without him and that I could move on with other guys, I decided to act on it. I met some guys from jack'd and we did go out but we didn't end up doing anything because I didn't want to. I have this friend of 4 years who eventually knew I was gay and he proposed a casual meet up and if we were comfortable, for some good sex. I was apprehensive and very reluctant. But then I was thinking that what was the big deal in it anyway ? Everyone was sleeping around and even my ex boyfriend did that. It's like nothing now. Love has no value and I told myself to screw my principles and just do it. So we engaged in the act. He met me at my place when my parents were in Hong Kong. While he penetrated me I realised that I was just not doing something right. My principles came before me and I really regretted trying to act with the norm. So I stopped him midway. I told him I was not comfortable and it ended. He left with a sad face. I really felt so sad. I really wished that I could die then. My personal battles. My mind was just fucking me up real bad.


I hid this from my close friends. They don't know that I am gay. My close friends are traditional bunch of guys. They go to church and they are against the LGBT community. My bestfriend is happily attached to a girl for 4 years and I hid this from him as well. But recently, I left my Facebook account logged in his PC and I went to the shop to get ourselves some food. He read all my messages and told my close friends. So now they all know that I am gay and that I had been sleeping around.


I am reeling in embarrassment. Of all people my bestfriend breached my trust just because I trusted him with my Facebook account ? He read all my messages. I am truly pissed. I fought with him and the thing is all my close friends got to know and they are judging me. They think I am like everyone else. They think I am pathetic to be a gay and to have had a promiscuous lifestyle. But I swear I never meant to be promiscuous. I fucked up. I know. But do you have to judge me this way ? I bestfriend say he was so heartbroken at my relevation but did you give me a chance to explain myself or did you put yourself in my shoes to understand the kind of pain I was going through to forgo my principles. Look I never meant to hurt anyone. That promiscuous lifestyle was my past. I am not promiscuous at all now. It all happened a year ago. I can easily hit on any guys at Jack'd and continue but I told myself no. I don't want to be like that. I wanted to change myself and I did it. But whats the point. My closefriends are judging me. No one is speaking to me because they all think what I did is wrong. Now my bestfriend is treating others as his bestfriend because they are not gay and they never sleep around. They are in his eyes, true christians who abide by the bible.


So just because I am a gay with a bad past you people decided to judge me and ostracise me ? I was a true friend to my bestfriend. I fought with so many people who put him down. He limps because his left leg is shorter. I have broken many noses. I know I was hot tempered and I scolded you before. But does that mean I am a bad bestfriend ? Didn't I fulfil my duties as a bestfriend to you ? I know I was against sleeping around but I swear I don't know why In fucked up. My mind messed with me. You have no idea of the pain I went through. Sleeping around is easy yes but abstaining from it is not. I chose to change but my bestfriends and my closefriends who know me so well are judging me this much ? Is it fair for me ? So I am afterall not a true friend because I had a bad past, spoke about other people and eventually I myself succumbed to it ? Thank you my friends. Thank you for hurting me this bad. You have no idea how hurt I am. I am telling you now, my bestfriend isn't the only one with a broken heart. You guys are there to cheer him up. What about my pain ? So you can only be myopic friends ? Feel pain for one side and ignore another friend and you call yourself my close friends ?


I am really hurt and confused. I miss my bestfriend. He will always be my bestfriend and I will continue to break noses that put him down. But I know you think I have been a fucked up friend but nevermind, you have better friends who will treat you much better than I did because in your eyes I made you look like a bestfriend with no pride.

Oh oh minvettu naalil ingae
minsaaram poley vandhaaye
va va en velicha poovey vaa

Uyir theetum uyiley vaa
kulir neekum veyiley vaa
azhaithaen vaa anbae

Mazhai megam varum podhu
mayil thogai viriyaadho
azhaithaen vaa anbae

Kadhal kadhal oru joram
kaalam yaavum adhu varum
aadhaam yevaal thodangiya kalai
thodaikadhai adangiyadhillaye (2)


Oh oh..
Japanil vizhithu eppodhu nadandhaai
kai kaalgal mulaitha haikoovey

Oh javvaadhu mandhai unmeedhu
thelikkum haikoovum unakkor kai poovey

Vizhagaamal thodum vilaakal naaldhorum
piriyadhavannam puraakkal thozhserum

eechal poove thodu thodu
koocham yaavum vidu vidu
yekkam thaakum iravai
oru irvai thavirpadhu thagumaa

Oh oh minvettu naalil ingae
minsaaram poley vandhaaye
va va en velicha poovey vaa (2)

Uyir theetum uyiley vaa
kulir neekum veyiley vaa
azhaithaen vaa anbae

Mazhai megam varum podhu
mayil thogai viriyaadho
azhaithaen vaa anbae

Kadhal kadhal oru joram
kaalam yaavum adhu varum
aadhaam yevaal thodangiya kalai
thodaikadhai adangiyadhillaye (2)


I swear I hated this song when I first heard it and later on somehow I got so hooked to it and now I cannot believe that I actually hated this song :P ! My favourite pair on screen ! Hahaha. I really think this song is damn nice and to add on, it's SHREYA GHOSAL ! Melting .... :D and for some reason I find the chorus VERY ADDICTIVE !

To you.

When the going gets tough, just remember to smile. It's hard to smile through it all, but give a reason to smile like a BOSS.

For some reason, I don't like my editing as much. I wanted to make it more saturated so that the intricate details can be in better view but I don't think it looks a sharp as I wanted it to be like.

"Sadness is, but a wall between two gardens". Khalil Gibran.

2/6/13 was an amazing day.



And guess who bought this for her Mom and Brother ;) ! Hahaha. I was really happy - like deep down. I had a date with Mom and took her to Little India. After all those shopping and lunch, I decided to bring her for facial. So the receptionist told me that my Mom would take about 45 minutes to be done and I swear I didn't want to wait for that long and so I was like, "you know what, just do it for me too". My Mom and I were separated into 2 different rooms. I went into my room and settled down and suddenly the woman went like "ok, ma'am you need to remove your top and your bra". I was like "WHAT ?!. I'm here for facial and why would I need to be half-naked ?". And she went like "oh this package comes with a massage. I swear I had the most awkward facial ever.

So once Mom had her facial done, I got her to do eyebrow and facial threading. She almost died. My Mom has a very low threshold for pain and it was really pitiful. Everytime the woman threaded her eyebrow, she ended up crying. So the woman suggested that we use wax to remove her facial hair and I agreed. I went over and handled onto my Mom's hand throughout the session. It felt really nice when Mom held onto my hand really tightly during the painful session. Felt really .... good.


All this while I've always wanted to buy brother a chain and today it was fulfilled. So when I saw it hanging on his neck, I swear I felt really happy. I don't know how many times I ended up looking at him. I just couldn't control myself. I kept looking at him and each time I saw it hanging around his neck, I felt really so happy.


Spying is not equivalent to caring.

Ok, I know this is late but I just managed to watch "Student of the Year" and good lord, I find Varun Dhawan really hot. Really.

Watching 'Student of the year" kind of made me reflect back on my school days. Those memories, those friendships made, those fights and everything man. And then you realise that friendships don't last. I mean time and difficult circumstances would reveal your fair-weathered friends, those wolves who conceal themselves with the skin of the sheeps and what not. I mean quite some time back I used to believe that friendships made during your school days last till the very end but I guess I forgot that there was something called "reality". I mean, all of us at a certain point in life would eventually become busy, settle down with our own lives, care for people who are within our close proximity and what not. So the true value of friendship diminishes over time unless you get married to your friend. In that way, friendships last long. Exceptions are too rare.

Reflections

Over time I start to realise that a clear distinction should be drawn between the term "friends" and "posers". For Pete's sake, don't call yourself my friend if you know your're a poser deep down. Like I said, time would reveal alot of things and once again, my gut feeling turn out true at the end of the day :)

To those whose shadows hardly moved - thank you :)

Vithiya 'Vitz'

11 Jan 1987

Undergrad (Psychology)

Manchester United

vithiyakumar11@gmail.com

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