Pamba Kooda Pazhagi Pasum Paala Oothum Saathi
Thappu Thanda Sencha, Aada Appa Theriyum Saethi


Hahaha. Pambu-thalaigal. Snake-headed.

I am trying to upload some pictures but to no avail. The system is technically inoperable and please, give me the liberty to sigh. Pictures speak a thousand words and they depict a gargantuan amount of information which the world will embrace in due time.

A friend indeed

I met Sashi for dinner earlier into the day. That poor soul ended up waiting 3 hours for my lesson to end. I had proffered an alternative date for a meet up and yet, he told me that he promised me to meet today and he would just wait for me. Sweet of him. So Sashi finally bought a very majestic looking motorcyle for himself. Let me tell you, his ride definitely looked puissant. So we headed for a simple dinner and we had a heart to heart chat. The funniest thing is, people had thought that he possesses outlandish characteristics but to be honest, he is very much honest than most people out there and he understands. When the plot was narrated, his cachinnation almost engulfed our surroundings. So basically, he told me a certain truth and that turned on the veins which triggered off the entire retrospective process.

I'll explain more on the essence of it but I'm losing my alertness as of now and I don't want people to accuse me of being asleep at the wheel.

Maybe before I go, let me share a food for thought which was newly constructed by yours truly. I mean, in this modern era, we should be clear about omitting all parochial views.


First and foremost, most of the people we meet on the streets are complete motherfuckers. Most of us give them the liberty to be our friends and to prove us that they're not motherfuckers in reality. So you technically give them to power to backstab you, betray you, hurt you, belittle you and what not. So a true motherfucker will always prove his mettle at the very end of the day. A motherfucker will always remain a motherfucker (even the vajayjays would cringe at their existence). A true friend would remain a true friend. So in our lives, the test of time, the situational crisis, the opportunity cost, the replacement cost and (etc) would present itself just to filter the motherfuckers from the true friends.

The paragon of virtue would just be a complete disdain at the hands of the evil at its greatest manifestations.  Hence, even the church would reek of the evil stench.

Time is at the disposal and it's just a matter of weeks when I get to do a "Sonapareeya" dance in the rain as the mark of the celebration from within.


Go decipher or find the universal elixir.

 Sending out my love to everyone outta there. Hola !

Anyways today I'm like really happy :P ! Read on to find out why and mudabitches, hold your horses before you decide to jump the gun (as always).




Today I was late for my class. The bloody "75" took way longer than usual to get to my stop and strangely, the bus driver was so so so slow today. I was losing my patience because I really wanted to be there early for my class as that was my favourite module. But well, I was late. I reached school at about 7.15 and I had to rush and get my stuff printed and I realised that my lecturer was an Indian. So I drew out a picture of the so-called Indian lecturer in my head. A balding, stout dude with a real bushy moustache and having a real bad Indian accent and all. So after I got my stuff printed, I headed to buy a cup of ice milo and headed straight to the 5th level (oh fuck, its gorgeous by the way). I found the classroom and I tried to peep from the door to see if the seats at the back were taken up and to my dismay, all the seats at the back were fully taken. So I plucked up the damned courage and pulled the door knob and I went in.

To my surprise .. (I swear surprise might simply be an understatement), I saw a very young and hot Indian lecturer going on with the lecture. He looked at me and smiled and I had no choice but to sit right infront of him. I couldn't control myself from ogling at him. He was like right infront of me and I couldn't focus on the slides. I was really looking at him. I mean he looked really good. I loved the way he dressed up today and God damn, he spoke really well too. To be honest, our eyes met many many times because I was sitting right infront of him and whenever he looks up, he will have to meet my eyes. There was once he was like going through this particular video and I ended up looking at him only. And for some strange reasons, I ended up smiling to myself. I don't know. Hahaha. So I texted the friends and told them how cute he was. Y was doing the same module as me but we were separated from each other and she was in a different class. So Y ended early and she told me that she was gonna come "fetch me" just so that she can look at him. For the first time, I was literally one of the last to leave the class. I was deliberately packing so slowly just so that I can remain ogling at him. HAHAHA. Well I am supposed to do an ECA for this module and some "kan-chong" baskets swamped him with questions (at the very 1st lesson itself .. NAHBEH). So I was just admiring him and well, Y came in with "Vitz, I am here to fetch you. My sweety" and she started ot ogle at him. Hahhaa. Basket.

Anyways, he's a very interesting guy. Oh wait, I can't do much with him besides to ogle at him because he is happily married. I do realise that he's just 5 years older than me (sigh - such a young lecturer) and we have so many mutual friends on FB. So I took his picture off my FB (well I snapped some pictures secretly to show the friends). I looked at his profile and I realised that he's not the goody-two-shoes fella. To be honest, I have a thing for those who have a LIFE ( a good social life) and end up doing so well in school. I mean c'mon man, if you have so much time at your disposal, you can always invest those amount of time and ace your studies but with a life (and I mean, A REAL SOCIAL LIFE), its so difficult to ace well in school. I guess his time management is excellent and I find such guys, interesting. Or strangely some epic fails to exist around. Those who go around the school jumping in a trance-like stance and end up fucking their studies. Lol. Aaaaanywaaays, I chanced upon his profile on NUS and realise that he's been a high flier. He has even been cited for because he wrote a fucking book and did research with a researcher on a very interesting subject. Fuck, he's young and so bright ! WHAT A FUCKING GOOD COMBINATION. So am I gonna miss his lessons ? - HELL NO ! But then again, I think I need to find a way to focus in this class because, there is an ECA component coming up and yet again, I need to do a damned research paper. Hahhaa, am I gonna fuck this up ? - HELL NO !






Anyways, I uploaded my first Instagram video and I was so proud of my video. Hahaha. So it got naturally uploaded to my FB account and Mr Deadpool pasted this picture in my comments log. I ended up laughing at it because I know how hard it was to take that video. Haha. And what I didn't realise was, he actually took the effort to draw my hair just because the meme looked bald. HHAHAHAHA. He went like "hey, that's your trademark fringe". WTH ! :P


Anyways, I can't help but really really envy, get jealous, admire a few people. PP is one of them - I still can't believe how well his columns are construed. Today I got to know that TM actually graduated with LLM ! BLOODY HELL. Wah, seriously, how do this people do it ?. WOW.






It's always very funny when 2 different heads do a peek at my blog and go through the entries when they're like sitting right beside each other, supposedly having their own private time together. Are you that bothered about my life (as contrary to what you have technically portrayed to many others out there) or are you just so fucking hard-up to find out information about yourself ?. Like I said, I can never stop some walking contradictions from doing a triple backflips. But then again, it's all about what you know and not what you understood. Trust me, there isn't a tinge of a jealousy with regards to you both. What only remains is pure anger - anger at the way you hitched a plan to steal what rightfully belongs to me.


"Your value doesn't decrease based on someone's inability to see your worth". My value nor my worth never decreased. But your value and worth has dwindled. Real badly. Now, please hurry, read my entry. Haha.


Lil Wayne and Bruno, I'm gonna "cite" you guys :P

Uh, I see the truth in your lies
I see nobody by your side
But I'm with you when you are all alone
And you correct me when I'm looking wrong
I see the guilt beneath the shame
I see your soul through your window pane
I see the scars that remain
I see you Wayne, I'm looking at the...

Mirror on the wall, here we are again
Through my rise and fall
You've been my only friend
You told me that they can understand the man I am
So why are we here


Through my rise and fall, I know who stood by. For them, I will continue to take the bullets :)

Hola Amigos and Senoritas :P




Seriously, DIE BITCH, DIE ! I hate you so much. Ewwww ! You have no idea how much you annoy me. You're worst than a pestiffied PEST ! Grrrr. I really hate you cockroach. This morning at around 4.25 am, I badly needed to use the toilet. So I climbed down my double-decker bed and hopped to go to the toilet (cos remember I was really really urgent - so I had to hop. Walking was not gonna help me contain those fluids within my body). So I saw something dark on the wall right beside the toilet and obviously I was not wearing my specs. So I thought it was a lizard and until I realised that it had wings - because it was trying to fly. I swear, I almost fainted. I grabbed my crotch with one hand (because I couldn't control the urge to pee on my shorts and I had to hold my crotch to manipulate my mind from not releasing the fluid) and grabbed the pesticide on the other hand and I didn't even have the guts to spray directly at the cockroach. I stood like what, 50 metres away from the cockroach and sprayed the pesticide but of course, the damaging liquid didn't reach the cockroach and well, I was just hoping it did. And all of a sudden, that cockroach flew towards me and I swear I sprinted to my room and shut my door. Just then I realised that my mom woke up for work and I actually called her from my room on my mobile to inform her of the roach and to kill it. Her nonchalant reply was "oh yes, the cockroach is just beside me". I swear I almost lost my cool ! I was like "Amma, I will kill you ah ! You better kill that cockroach and throw it out. I NEED TO PEE very urgently" and her reply to that was "paapom" (we will see). At that juncture, I was turning murderous because I swear I was bloody urgent !.

So while I was in my room I was planning on ways to urinate. I even thought of placing sanitary pads and urinating on them if my Mom was not gonna kill that roach. But of course, it will be one of the most disgusting act I've ever done in my life ever ! So I was like totally against it and suddenly I plucked up enough courage to pop my head out of the room and ask my mom if she killed the cockroach and she went like "yaaa, long time ago". I couldn't control my rage and I was like "why didn't you just tell me next year". Grrr !

Really, I SWEAR, I hate cockroaches. I wish one day I can just kill them ! But sadly I don't dare step on them, pour hot water on them, spray insecticide/pesticide on them or whatsoever. For the past 26 years my dad has been the one who has been like waking up from his deep slumber (yea, it gets that bad) to help me kill those roaches and occasionally, my brother and my mom help me out. But really, why do you even bother living when so many people hate you ah, Cockroach ?. I mean look at your name .. COCK-roach. Aren't you embarrassed ?. Really, just die ! Like get extinct( if the -ed can be used) ! I can't even believe this shit has been like living since those stone age. Like seriously ?! Such a shameless shittified pest and you're so ugly ! Why are you even living ?!. I hate you sia :(






Anyways today I helped mom with her ingrown toenail (not the deep ones la -superficial ones where you can easily cut them up with the necessary 'surgical tools' - chey waaah) ! So once I did everything I told her that I had to do something more to her toenail and I actually brought a screwdriver. My mom literally got paralysed with fear. I saw how her face contorted with fear and I was controlling my laughter and with a very serious face, I told her that her nail has got 'Subungual hematoma' (in short, runner's toe). I had that after my 10KM marathon run in 2009. So anyways, I told her I had to break her nail and she was like "with a screwdriver ?. Vithi-ma, vendaaam (don't). Don't do this please. It will be painful) and I was like, "chill mommy. I will help you break it and save the other half of your toenail". So I stuck that screwdriver into my fist and I pretended to cover her toenail and I used a hammer to like hit it downwards and mom almost fainted out of fear ! HAHAHHAHAHAHA. I swear it was hilarious. I couldn't control myself from rolling onto the floor. HAHAHAHAHAHAH ! Bloody hell. I rock, man !


Anyways, I am atrociously hot-headed. Red hot hammers always work inside my head when a fucked up situation is presented right infront of me. I swear I wish I can like kill alot of people with just a curse - like the 'Avada Kedavra' or the less vicious 'Sectumsempra'. But then, when things are good and there is no need for me to show my evil side, I am downright funny. I mean I love to crack jokes and to play pranks on people. Like that is one of my most favourite hobby/pasttime/habit itself. I really really love to do that. I mean, they say that 'Capricorns' are very serious and they need light-hearted partners to balance them out. But I think I can do that well to myself. I mean I can get really serious when I need to but at the same time, I can really balance out myself too. But of course, an ex-partner helped balance me alot more better than I did but well, I'm still good :P ! Hahahhaa. I mean really, what's life without some humour ?!



Life without humour is like eating laddu without sugar ! Ewwww :P

PS: Wahhh the laddu looks good man. I think this is my "eat-everything-that-you-can-find" season. I'm always feeling hungry and I'm craving for all the weirdest stuff on Earth. I need a good makan buddy man. The best makan buddy who is open to try many new dishes is like Guru darling (brotherlove). I mean I can still remember how I got him to try escargots for the first time. I mean if it was someone else, I think they would be mortified with the idea of trying to eat garden snails and may puke on my face itself. Ewww

Hola beeeches.




Oh well that was for me. Basically, tomorrow's a big day for me. I'm certain that that will make up to be an awesome memory ever. Really excited that I don't think I can sleep tonight. I swear :)

School is starting ! Basically my timetable for the new term is freaking me out big time ! Term 3 looks extremely taxing and I literally have to go to school every single day. Term 4 is more relaxing as I only have to go to school once every week. But whatever it is, I need to push up my GPA. I'm glad that I've managed to redeem myself from my bad performance in year 1 and its high time I reach my own goals. To be down right honest, I know that I am capable of attaining high GPA and I almost fucked my GPA due to unwanted problems from selfish people but thankfully, I managed to focus a little enough. But if I had managed to focus more, I don't think I would be facing a tougher term 3 ! The more I think about such missed opportunities, the fucking angry I get ! I mean yes, I should have controlled my own emotions and thoughts and focused but then again as 'friends' you can do much to lend a fucking helping hand but of course, I guess I trusted the wrong people. Dayum, it's really so difficult to spot the wolves under that veil. It's ok, "keep your head up. God gives his hardest battles to his strongest soldiers". Thank you God. I will win this battle and as usual, I will soldier on and march forth.


MOO-licious :P





Hahahaha, sorry Moo, this picture is fucking funny and I had to upload it :P ! Anyways, thanks for the listening ear, Moo (oh yes, being formal doesn't suit me but well, I'm merely showing my appreciation). First and foremost, it's definitely not a necessity to even lend that listening ear but you did. I mean people are always busy with their own shit but you did take time off all that. And well, you're getting married in less than 5 months and you have so many things up your sleeve and you actually take that time to ensure I am all well and good. So thank you for that. Oh, I earned this friendship. I didn't deploy underhand methods to forge this friendship nor did I even steal her from people. It was solely earned. Like I said, stolen goods don't taste good at all.

There's one thing that she said that I really love to the core. Well we technically met in MI but we never spoke. It's quite funny that the friendship started after school ended but it's really quite special that it started because of my blog. I mean there was one such friendship that started from my blog and it has to be Guru - brotherlove and our relationship is really so so so special because we have that amazing telepathic bond that I can never have with many others. Hmmm let's see, MOO :P ! Oh anyways, I used to think that Moo was actually a very quiet person and all. She did admitted that she was only loud and all to those who were close to her and she was really quiet before the rest. So I was wondering what made her change now. I mean, I guess alot of people know that I can get really shy when I meet my online friends for the very first time (I swear, I don't know why). But she was like really so loud, outgoing and brave and what not ! So I found it this Moo quite a contradictory to that older Moo from school. Well, she has a painful past and that painful past gave her the strength to be loud. It gave her the inspiration to have a voice. So I asked her "why" and she said that "when people realised that she was soft and all, they used to subjugate her. So she decided to be loud so that people know that she has a voice". Well that is like so God-damn true right ?. I mean when you don't have a voice, a lot of motherfuckers out there would squash you up with their overpowering 'voice', right ?.

You know thank God I've always been vocal about my thoughts and feelings. Really. If I am not happy with you, I would say it. If my voice is deliberately being ignored, I would make sure you know it yourself. My blog helped me with it - not that I don't dare to say all those to your face but the question is, are you that receptive ?. *Winks*. Since I know that you love to sneak up to my blog (I'm talking to all the mudabitches who do it with some ulterior motives), you will always get to know my train of thoughts about you. I don't care what you may think about me. You may even hate me for what I have to say about you or the people you love. I fucking don't care. All I care is about, I ain't lying to your face or to your loved one's face. I am being who I really am. No veils, just me. Technically I support my own backbone and not beg someone else to hold my backbone or to carry my butt. I am just me. I realise that some people have so much to say about my blogging mannerisms and what not. Let me tell you this - I am 100% certain that you have a closet full of skeletons and trust me man, you of all people shouldn't be condemning my mannerisms. Afterall, you mask your inner thoughts due to your cowardice but unfortunately, I don't belong to that same feather of yours.


Thoughts

Anyways, back in the past I used to admonish those who speak ill-ly about people I cared about - even after the pain that they gave me. Like strangely, only I can talk ill-ly about them and no one else could. I was very strict about it. Once my Dad pissed me off so much and I had so much to say about him but when a closed one added on and said that he was being bad, I swear that got me off real bad. I really gave him a piece of my mind. Like I said, no one else have the rights to scold, condemn or speak ill-ly about my close ones other than me. I am protective - yes. But for the very first time, I just don't feel a thing. Maybe that is some lost love from a very barren heart. Your deceit has really transformed me - alot.

Today, I had a prompt from an application called "Skout" on my phone. It prompted me to like download that app and so I did. To my horror, I actually have an account there. I swear I didn't know. So I actually logged into that account and someone commented that my picture looks nice and I was really baffled because I never uploaded any pictures of myself nor do I even remember having a Skout account. I went to the profile and scrolled down to see the pictures. There were 3 pictures. One solo picture and 2 with ..... Yeah, I really had a shock. I mean old memories tears us down like really so badly. I swear I have no idea why I must be seeing it all over again. Sign, sign, sign. I screenshot that picture. I mean that is the only thing that I have to remind me of those beautiful moments that have evaporated away into the thin air.


"We shouldn't be living inside a box all our lives. The one and only moment when we should be living inside a box is when we lay dead in our very own coffin". Thanks for this, K. True that, eh ?. I want life to surprise me in every way possible. Like suddenly, I think it wasn't about the problems - it's all about the surprises it comes with. Well, continue to surprise me, life. I'm ready with my gloves :P





Cos I managed to chase away that ghost of the past. Orae loves with Ronald McDonalds at the Airport ;)

Holla back mudabitches. Ha, just joking. Guess it's starting to get more interesting now.


Ok today I am going to narrate a story and my dearest readers, you can add your own pinch of salt and pepper to add the desired flavour. See I'm quite fair, I'll give you the opportunity to add your own twist until it catches up real bad on me.

The murderer and the murdered murderer


There was a murder on Vague Street. Jelebi was walking down the street and she saw the streets cordoned off by the police and she knew there was a murder. All this while she hated murders and even the murderers. Well, at that juncture, she could never understand why people would want to murder another individual. Hence she always had this deep-seeded hatred. She used to share her hatred to the trees whom she considered her friends. But she never told anyone the reason behind her hatred. She was just too sure that she will never be pushed to the limit of murdering someone else. 

(Fast forward to 5 years later.) One day, a cuckoo bird flew to the nearest tree that it could locate and decided to "lepak" (chill). The cuckoo bird decided to lepak at one of Jelebi's friend's branches. The cuckoo bird got into a conversation with the tree and sooner, cuckoo bird revealed to the tree that Jelebi had murdered someone before. The tree got a shock of its life and it started to sway left and right and it even tried to sway backwards. The cuckoo bird got scared and it flew high into the sky. The tree then decided to drown in its own sorrow. Well the tree never thought that Jelebi would ever murder someone. 

Jelebi was walking towards Vague Street to meet her friends and all of a sudden, the siren of a fire engine pierced through the silent evening. Jelebi ran after the fire engine and to her horror, her friends were burning. Jelebi screamed her lungs out. Her knees grew weak and she dropped to the ground due to severe exhaustion. Suddenly, a piece of paper flew towards her right cheek and she flipped it over to glance at its contents. "Jelebi, we're disappointed that you could actually murder someone. How could you ?. Didn't you speak ill-ly about murderers and murders and so how could you do the same thing ?. We're so disappointed and so we decided to burn ourselves. We will take a rebirth and we will never want to be your friend ever again. Thank you for playing with us and stealing our apples, Jelebi". At that juncture, all Jelebi do was to look at the remains of her late friends. 


So at this juncture, I would love to ask who was the murderer and who was the murdered murderer. 

1) Jelebi was a murderer yes. But was Jelebi truly a murderer ?

2) The trees self-sacrificed to attain a new birth but by all honesty, did they murder Jelebi aka, the alleged murderer ?

3) So is knowing something and understanding it, the same thing ?. Hell no. As per Mitch Albom, even he thinks that knowing something and understanding it is not the same thing. So at that juncture, who gave the trees the right to assume that what they know is probably what they actually understand and murder the poor Jelebi ?.

Well this is the main reason why I am against such 'smart-alecs' or even the 'smart-alec-wannabes'. Makkal, if you cannot be smart, at least try not to act smart la. Or even if you cannot stop yourself from acting smart, at least have the self control to stop your "naarae vaayi" from yapping about. You deliberately spin stories about people without understanding what you actually know and you think that naturally elevates your position to that of a Pope (supposedly someone who is so pure because he promotes celibacy). Please la, you're simply spoiling other people's happiness la dei. No man can be elevated and placed on a pedestal based on his/her own assumptions alone. You should technically not deprive another human being of what he/she has access too. So when you behave that badly to a fellow human-being and ruin her own happiness, you got the cheek to assume that your values are bringing you to places ?. Even if the veins beneath your skin doesn't twitch with that ounce of a guilt, I am here to tell you on your face that, bitch, "knowing something and understanding it is not the same thing". So as long as you never made that decent attempt to understand, your position as per my POV is seriously downgraded. If you don't become a Christian just by going to a church. You got to uphold the values. Simply said.


Anyways, I was chancing upon Aarthi Sankar's defunct blog by accident and strangely, her 1st entry made 3 years ago makes so much of sense now. I am going to copy and paste snippets of it. Aarthi Sankar, please don't sue me dei :P

"I mean, cliques are crazy. Lets say you fall out with one person, that inevitably means a good half of your clique isn’t going to talk to you and the other the other person. Worst still, cliques that involve a few romantic relationships as well. Those are even more complicated and the minute a pair breaks up, there is so much of mudslinging or side-taking. No offence to all those of you have a huge circle and love them. I respect the fact that you guys are able to manage some dainty and fragile relationships and juggle them. I have always never been able to have such luck and for some reason I have come to wean my life off all these crazy big circles."

I figure having individual friends works a lot better for me. Somehow, its always easier to let a friendship/bond/relationship stand on its own feet when its just about you and that particular person. That way, both of you and not external parties control how the relationship moves, what is private and what is to be shared. Intimate moments are truly intimate and non-intimate moments remain within your private sphere. When relationships sour (don’t mean to be a pessimist but they always do), at least both parties can pack their bags and walk off.

All that aside, I think any friendship can last if both parties remain non-judgemental. Anyhow, back to my initial point – good, sturdy friendships work on the premise of non-judgements. You know you have a true friend if you can come to him/her anytime and say what you feel at that exact point in time and not be judged for it 2 years later. 


I just love the way Aarthi put it so aptly. But the major problem is, I do understand that alot of stupid people exist but sadly, some dimwits believe that telling others within their surroundings about what is meant to be within an individual's private sphere is justifiable or else, they simply got to say "sorry" to the members of their surrounding or pout for a few days and naturally, their sentiments would score higher. Like seriously ?. Who gave you the permission to bring an individual's private sphere to light ?. Trying to manipulate the minds to reverberate likewise ?. Please, saying "sorry" or "pouting" for a few days isn't going to reverse the damages. NEVER. You should have exercised sheer caution. Not that I am so hard-up about the stuff that was revealed. But my only burning fury is that, you believe that what you know is probably what you had understood but I am here to say that hell you mudabitch, that isn't the fact at all. Hence at this juncture, who is to be blamed ?. Or else, who is getting the brunt of a bad decision-making from a very matured individual ?. uh huh ?.


Sometimes I wish that there would be a confrontation because I have some 'naakai-pudunkuraan' questions to ask more than 1 soul. I wish I wish.






Well, as long as people think and assume that what they know is what they understand, such intelligent probes would be omitted. Tsk.






Well this is 101% true !  Well at least this was revealed at that McCafe when some people decided to betray their old friend by choosing to tell another member of the group what they think they understood from what they got to know. I mean at least if that particular friend whom I explained briefly spoke about it, I wouldn't have labelled it as a betrayal but then again, she didn't say anything. Well, if they had been decent friends, they would have known that his queries were touching my own private sphere and would have directed his queries to me but no. My private sphere became their public rant. I am still wondering who gave them the rights to talk about me when I wasn't even there and when they knew only peanuts about the whole situation. So who ah ?. Please explain leh. Still wondering lor. Where art thou, betrayers ?. Don't look far, just look infront of you because they love to don the friendship veil. YUCKS.




I finally decided to get this book because I wanted a slap on my face. A slap of reality.I want to know how I had wasted so much of my time on unnecessary idiots. I think I need an invisible time keeper. I mean can you believe how I used to sacrifice some Friday, Saturday and some Sundays just for pure friendship from the heart only to get betrayed and having my own happiness stolen. Very deserving, right ?.


Anyways, last night I chanced upon some pictures and it kinda brought back some old memories. Memories that always manages to tear me down. So I ended up chatting to N for like 3 hours on 'Whats App' and I realised that I HATE MESSAGING on my S3. It was alot easier to messgae on iPhone. Anyways, even R was sharing his own stuff with me. I was kinda down. Messaged Cow in the morning and somehow, she managed to like you know pull me back up and she just understood it all. Like you know, you would want someone to like really really understand and not just know ... well she did it. She literally understood because she went through her own fair share of brutality and she knows and UNDERSTANDS. Such a beautiful friendship and it all started from words first. Hmmm. Will be meeting her tomorrow and I promised to be less shy (HAHAHAHAHA) and we got to transform into camsluts. Oh anyways, I am horrendously disappointed with V. So all those that you told me was just a wipe-out ?. Fuck you, V ! Thank God, I deleted you and sent you that FB message. Seriously I cannot believe you actually decided to have those people around for an important event. REALLY ?.

All right, this will be the CAR ! Wish me luck people. I am kinda nervous especially since I would need to like learn the "biting point".

To be honest, I know myself really well enough. I place alot of value on memories - people who create those memories. Like if you're my friend and I do prioritise you, I would even want to be there by your side as you pluck out your teeth (unless you don't want me there). Because those are events that can give me good memories - memories that I bring to my grave. Yes. Well even if you do not graduate with flying colours, I would still be there as your personal unpaid photographer. That is me. But once you rattle my feathers alot more than I can handle, trust me, I will become a major bitch. A bitch whom you cannot handle. A bitch who wouldn't think twice about murdering you. I didn't change - I just ran out of my threshold for tolerence. I know deep down that I would fight the motherfucker who hurt you if you really mean alot to me but don't expect that once you've crossed my threshold for tolerence. Me taking the bullet and me pulling the trigger depends on you, yourself. But have the decency to paint the accurate picture of me. Not a picture that you would want to world around you to see and "jing-jak" to. YUCKS.



To all the awesome ones - even from that surroundings - Have a chilled frozen strawberry margarita. Oh last but not least ah, "Goom thalakadi giri-giri, lala pettai vada-giri".


Oh have an awesome stolen moment/happiness ! Adioz.

It's quite funny as I notice the exponential growth of visitors to my blog. A gargantuan amount of intentions and reasons.

Anyways today I am going to talk about something quite interesting. I've got a few stuff to get off my chest and here we go.




Reading of Signs 


I've always believed in signs because somehow or rather, I 'know' that they have a certain meaning towards them or at least, there is a reason for their very existence / or a certain purpose for their appearance. I know that I know it. But not many people understand the very essence of this argument because as per 'Man of Steel' movie, 'people are afraid of what they don't understand'. So once someone doesn't understand something, he/she tries to create a new 'understanding' to tailor to their needs but sadly, more often than not, it might just be a half-baked nonsensical unfiltered feculence. So at the very end of the day, they just don't fucking understand and that causes them to fear every single information pertaining to that argument.


Sign #1 


Today is technically one of the most happiest days in my life.



Yes, I went for my briefing at National University Cancer Institute, Singapore (NCIS) earlier on. Finally I felt that I was actually doing something to honour my Godmother. I know that I wanted to do something. I did tell some baboons and the nearest tree to my house that I was going to donate some amount of money to the Cancer Society and all. But then again, it was just different. I was hoping to find out more about a more hands-on mode of assistance that I could provide and I never had any idea about this NCIS. Anyways as I had mentioned earlier, NCIS was only opened to NUS students. Well, I took the chance and I got admitted.

So I went for my 1st briefing and after the briefing, they brought us for an orientation and I had to meet my worst fears. I met some cancer patients - including those who were warded there with less severe damage to their bodies, those who are in critical condition, those who came for their check-up, those who were undergoing chemo-therapy and the family members who were waiting for them. Many times I almost broke down. For some reason, I see my Chinnamma aka Godmother in them. I even saw one Caucasian guy who just took a blood test (because there was a plaster on his inner left arm) and he looked very cancer-ish. I mean I am sure he is diagnosed with cancer. It's like seeing patients with Stage 1 all the way until Stage 4 and somehow I saw my Chinnamma in them. When I went to the Chemo-therapy area I almost felt dizzy. For a moment my mind went blank. It's like I visualise my Chinnamma sitting amongst them and undergoing her chemo. I know deep down that the patients are actually undergoing alot of pain but somehow they mustered the courage to smile at us. That was very painful. Like I said, this pain is still very fresh in my heart and mind and trust me, it's deeply entrenched into my heart. I can never forget how she went away.

And then suddenly I realised the signs. The deadline to apply for NCIS was on the 12th July 2013 and I had to rush and apply on the 11th July 2013. 12th July 2013 was exactly 6 months since she left us. 6 months of pain or maybe even more than that. So there is a reason why I had to apply for the NCIS. The best thing was, I was really wondering what to wear for the briefing and since I was rushing, I just grabbed whatever that came to my reach. While I was reflecting on the date, I realised that I was wearing the exact t-shirt that I wore when I rushed out of the chalet on 12th January 2013. Basically I saw her lying there motionless in that same t-shirt and strangely I wore that t-shirt for this 1st ever NCIS briefing. I'm definitely not riding on bullcrap or am I ?.

I was talking to R and M about all this. Both agreed that there was definitely some relation, some connection. I came home to have an early dinner because I am heading to the Airport in like less than 3 hours time. There goes my sleep - anyways this is a peripheral information. But yes, I had my early dinner and I turned on the TV. They were telecasting "Paadangal". 2 guys were talking about how they overcame their obstacles to achieve well in their academia. I was very interested in what this particular guy had to mention. His name was Rahuman. He was those kind of students who was literally afraid of studies and he used to see his teachers as demons and his main moral support was his mother. Soon after, he realised that his mother was diagnosed with breast cancer. Yes, CANCER. He explained how one day while he was at Bouna Vista (on his way to NUH), he received a phone call where his uncles asked him to rush down as his mother was dying. He was literally describing how he rushed and walked towards her ward where he saw all his cousins and all waiting and etc. That particular part fucking brought back the pain in me because that was exactly how I experienced the chain of events on that unfateful day. I know it. I fucking know it.

On that unfateful day, the roads were against me. The weather was against me. But I know I begged an Indian family to allow me to take their cab (they had stopped the cab before me but yea). The taxi is not God, right ?. (So apparently I reached 15 minutes after she had passed on). But of course, I didn't know that. My gut feelings told me to check my watch at a particular time (till now I don't know why) and it was 3:16 p.m. That was the time she passed on. I didn't know. I reached the lobby. I rushed to the lift and pressed the button up. My heart was thumping like a fucking bitch. I stepped out. Suddenly I had this weird feeling. The air around me was suddenly so chilly. It was like as if, something was telling me that I was just too late. I saw all the relatives outside the ward. All the men were like busy on their phones - making calls / speaking to people on the other end. Some were just leaning against the wall and some looked sad. I was like "fuck .... really please, don't tell me ... just don't tell me". I was walking really slowly because to be really honest, I didn't want to face the reality. But I saw Neevan (my chinnamma's son). His eyes met mine and he just shook his head and a tear rolled down his cheek. At that juncture, I swear, I felt my world crashing in. I knew then. I knew she left. But still, I didn't want to believe it. I walked in. I heard a few people crying. I stood at the foot of the bed and she looked like she was sleeping. They told me she had passed on. My world crashed once more and all I know was, I just dropped at her feet and burst out. I dropped at her feet because I had to ask for forgiveness. For not accepting her illness when she was told us and instead, lived in denial thinking that she would be cured, not spending enough time with her, not being able to communicate with her like how I had used to, for disappointing her, for not freely kissing her like how I had used to, for not saying I fucking love you when I could have and really the list goes on. Soon, I was given the space to walk up to her. I walked up to her, touched her face and the warmth was still there. She was just alive but not alive. I mean fuck she was still fucking warm man .... just like how she was always. But this time she was not going to stand up, smile, grab our hands or whatsoever. Only 1 question popped in my mind and that was "why ma, you're thinking twice to kiss chinnamma ah ?". She asked me that question when she and my chittappa had dropped me and my mother off after my cousin's engagement. My mom had asked me to kiss my chinnamma and for some reason, I was hesitant. (That hesitancy was caused by a failed relationship that a fucked up ex-bestfriend of mine caused. I will never forgive you to this day, bastard !) Suddenly, she asked me that question. I swear I felt like the most fucked up person ever on planet Earth. On that day itself, it dawned upon me that she was leaving us slowly and to garner such a question from a dying chinnamma .... from someone who I fucking loved really killed me. So when I saw her motionless body there at the hospital, that was the fucking question that came into my mind. I kissed her. I know my heart screamed out "HOW CAN I NOT FUCKING KISS YOU. I FUCKING FUCKING FUCKING LOVE YOU !". But then, she didn't wake up to give that smile of assurance. She didn't. She continued sleeping. Well why should I expect her to wake up when she was finally sleeping after a long battle. But she was NEVER going to wake up. I mean how can I accept that she was never waking up. They burnt her body man. I am never gonna see her. Never. Never. She's just gone. Like as if someone clicked on the backspace button without the "Undo action". Gone. Just gone.

I know that she had high hopes on me. She was one of those who never gave up on me. She used to speak highly of me to people around. She made friends with my MI Tamil teacher - Mr Sengu and well Mr Sengu behaves like a fucker to the students but strangely he spoke highly of me and my achievements to the school to my Chinnamma and my mom was telling me how proud she was of me and all. I came on TV for a pathetic competition and I was watching it with her ... during her last stages and I told her that I felt embarrassed that I lost out without a good fight and she actually told me "I know you're way smarter than those people ma. This people are way older and so they had the tendency to know more. This is not a fair competition itself". She said all those words to pacify. She even exclaimed that I spoke good Tamil and that I appeared really cool and composed on TV. I know she said all those to pacify me. To make it look as if I'm some Demi-God. Hahahha, why Chinnamma, why so much of hopes on me ?. You know it fucking hurts that you're not around now.

Anyways, I don't know why I'm lamenting this much. I literally pouring out my heart. I don't know. I cannot even type without breaking down. Pain. Pain at the highest order I guess. You know, she was having cough for a few weeks and the doctor at the clinic gave her cough syrup and increased the concentration as her cough got worst. She was asked to go for an X-ray and soonafter, the doctors asked her to go for a diagnostic X-ray at SATA and yea, she knew it before anyone else knew. She came out and told my cousin, "what would you do if I was slowly dying ?" and my cousin went like "Ma, stop talking like that. I would make sure you get cured". She smiled at her and asked her to sleep. Really how could you take something so heart-wrenching that easily, Chinnamma. Seriously what are you made up of ?.


My cousin told me that every night, my Chinnamma would cry herself to sleep. She would look at my cousin and just cry. You know I don't know what she was thinking but I know that she had alot of plans, alot of goals, alot of wishes and this fucking cancer bitch ended everything without any mercy. It literally killed her. So at this juncture, I know that many cancer patients would be going through whatever my Chinnamma went through, right ?. So I need to meet them. I need to hear them out. This is what I wanted to do right. To honour her. To make sure I have her deep in my heart and through her, help out others who have cancer. I need to tell them to be as strong as she was. To embrace death like a hero. I need to tell it to them right ?. Yes I would. I know I was destined to do this. I will do it. I will honour her because she was a fucking legend. You know recently, I had a cousin's night over at my place and I have no idea why but I told my cousin something. I swear I didn't even realise what I had said until I ended the sentence and I went like "what the fuck did I just say". All I know was I was looking at her picture and I actually said "you know, there was a reason why she had cancer. There was a reason why she had to suffer so much. You know, there is no pride in living till we grow old and die just like that. I mean the world will just say, oh person X lived and died so peacefully and ya da ya da. I mean there isn't a distinct thing to remember about them. But for Chinnamma, she died as a hero. She died as a fighter. Her lifespan was 8 months but she fucking fought and lived for 2.5 years longer ! Now every single time we speak of her or even think of her, we would remember the fight she had. So that no matter how tough things get, we will tell ourselves that she fought like a hero despite having such a painful disease and we're just gonna give up without a fight while we're pink in health ? No way, we will honour her. We will fight like her". I swear to God, I don't even know why I said that but I did. I will fight like her. I would. Even if I were to contract some disease in future, I know that I will fight like her. I will. Thank you so much Chinnamma. I never thought that I would one day help patients with cancer one day. That was never in my goal-path. But well, everything happens for a reason. It was afterall the signs. Once again, thank you so much Chinnamma. This journey is going to be sooo painful. I am sure that I will break down as I speak to those patients but I will really try my level best to help them as much as I can. I will honour you in everything that I do. May all this glory belong to only you. I love you Chinnamma. I hope you would be proud of me.




Sign 2


This particular thing has always been lingering on my mind. I have seen a plethora of signs with regards to this matter 2.5 years down the road and I still see the signs. So on Saturday I saw 2 signs right before my eyes and today ... haha lets see.



Sign 3


Everything happens for a reason. It really does. I was presented with a camera for my birthday and I had a certain emotional attachment towards it. I mean I took to it like how a duck would take to water. I even had a sentimental value towards it. There is definitely a reason as to why I had to lose that camera in such a way. It is somewhere in Phi Phi Island (Phuket). Some other tourist would be using it. Like I said, there is a reason for everything. That chapter ends there. Even recently, I got another MP3 drive for my mom and her previous MP3 died on her. Like I said, there was always a reason. A reason.

Thanks to you and your devious schemes, now this is the current state. Really. From the bottom of my heart, I thank you for everything that you have plotted out so skilfully. In case you add that extra amount of lard to your overly-swelled up ego, let me tell you this again and a thousand times again - these moments are moments that you stole from me. This laughter, this happiness and everything was stolen. So remember, take care of my stolen happiness. I know deep down that you will never feel this pinch because you believe you have found a perfect bulletproof vest but alas, let's see ;) ! Ungrateful shameless dog.

Oh anyways, using someone else's phone or coercing someone else to deliberately do a check-in to display a stolen moment is definitely puke-inducing. It really is. Maybe your momma would be proud but sadly, it does not arouse a tinge of a vein in the body of mine. Well like I said, if it was earned, I would respect that but it was stolen by a mere cheap tactic, so my distaste extents beyond my own perceived limits. Tsk tsk.

As per my calculations, time is ticking. Your downfall is imminent. At that juncture, I would love to see those who claim they would take the bullet and those who would really take on that bullet.

Anyways, I love Moo's nickname for that Shakuni. Hahaha, I literally erupted into laughter, man. Seriously, sometimes I wonder how Moo comes up with such nicknames but good Lord, that was fantabulous. Oh it's a real small world. And, I received a surprised Whats App message from someone. I am very interested to meet that person because I want to know the truth behind the fabrications that were brought out by who else ? ;) And I wish I can really hunt down TREE. I am so damn sure that there is more than what reached the ear. If only I knew where TREE stays or so.





I am so in love with 'em MINIONS ! I don't watch animated movies but really, I accidentally chanced upon the Minions and I fall in love with them. They literally brought out the laughter from within and yea. I had a date with them today and I swear I ended up laughing for the entire 98 minutes. They're that God-damn funny !


Aglio Olio with Gordan Ramsay-inspired fried salmon. I've been watching alot alot of videos by Gordon Ramsay and he actually sparked off that foodie love all over again. I have never liked fish skin and Gordon actually advised his fellow fans to 'not be afraid of fish skin' and to try it. So I literally followed his style. He likes to roll up the salmon fish (skin side up) and make some parting cuts all the way until the end and to add salt in-between those partitions and to glaze them with Olive oil and to deep fry them. He also taught us on how to make simple Olive oil-lemon juice vinegrette. He's amazing, man ! To be honest, I fucking fall in love with the fish skin. It was definitely magnificent. I never knew fish skin was that tasty ! :) ! Thank you Gordon Ramsay :) ! I actually decided to modify his stuffed frog recipe into stuffed squid and I have even planned out the necessary condiments for the stuffing and I've planned out my own garnishing sauce. I told Raj N about the recipe and he thinks its interesting. Initially he was suggesting that I use beef and cheese but then it will never suit the squid recipe that I've formulated. But it's really so interesting. I'm loving this man !





These peeps are being such sweethearts. We were complete strangers and I met them at my religion module and I swear I don't regret it. These sweethearts are so genuine about forging a lasting friendship. I'm really very amazed, man. I mean as usual, I suggested a couple of things and it's like going so well for us. It's so different to be friends with people who come from different walks of life. Only me and H are from the A levels curriculum and Y is like working in SPH and the wavelength is definitely different. D is going to be a father soon and he's so nervous ! C is getting married on Dec 8th at Swissotel and C actually drove me to Rail Mall in his fucking luxurious Mercedes Benz because I wanted to sit in it :P ! H actually broke his fast at home at 715-ish and left his house around 8 and rode all the way from Tampines to KAP just to meet us. Really, I enjoy being with this sweethearts. Its like ... its very different actually. You can see the sincere efforts that they take. You can see that they definitely don't have any devious schemes beneath their skin. They're sincere and that sincerity and that genuine love appeals to me. I have a couple of friends even from that clique who satiate such qualities and like I said, that appeals to me. I don't need an 'angkat-bola', I don't need a poser. I don't need a fucking name-sake friend. I don't need an ungrateful for a friend and the list goes on. You know why this appeal factor seems even more attractive ? - Because this was earned by me. I didn't steal them from others. I didn't steal their happiness like you did. It was hard earned. Not stolen by cheap tactics and of course, I don't ride on the happiness that came from the expense of someone else.

Welcome back. Sending out my hola to my buddies, cuties, to those who religiously follow me with no ulterior motive and finally, of course to the nosy assholes.

I guess many would have thought that my previous entry was an explosive one. Oh well. Hahahhaa.

My shoot went well and I am not sure when it will be telecasted on TV and I should add that the world is too too too small and those who watch the show will understand why I am saying this (the important ones already know it). Oh and also, I saw a major "Anjaana Anjaani" on that day. Signs.


Now I am going to rant.


Private nehi, Public rant 


Oh today I met Kanages and Gopi and of course, many others from around would have known about the meeting the previous day itself. I don't fucking care but I should mention that I appreciate and salute their initiative. Thanks guys.

Anyways, each time I meet someone from my clique, I feel so happy. Mainly because I learn new things and also because of the 4 people I met, no one could provide some concrete answers to my burning questions. They were definitely legitimate questions but I wonder when I would get my answers. Their inability to answer those questions do justify my current cause.

Today I am going to tell a story. A story we all know. A story many would want to know. A story many would get confuse knowing. Well, a story is a story and it's up to your comprehension.



 

Please meet Mr Shakuni. For some reason, he is known as "Shakuni Mama". I wonder why. Mr Shakuni was famous for plotting that devious scheme and initiating the whole Mahabharata war. Basically, he's a very intelligent chap but of course, highly devious. Shakuni is definitely best known for masterminding the infamous "Game of Dice" between the Kauravas and the Pandavas. He is infact, the master of sorcery. So in all honesty, I definitely see shades of Shakuni in you. In my opinion, you're the Shakuni I've spotted in Singapore. Strange strange. 

The old hag Shakuni was responsible for the entire Mahabharata war and this Shakuni is the mastermind behind the current crack in the Justice League. That Shakuni used his devious means to manipulate the "Games of Dices" especially since the dices were made up of his father's thigh bones and could easily reflect the desired number. So what did this Shakuni use to manipulate a personal issue of mine to escalate into something so heinous ?. It was definitely the manipulation of the booby traps. (Not literally of course. Booby traps have an entire page on Wikipedia that is dedicated to them and to those whose brains often get stuck in the toilet bowl, go read up). Anyways, Mr Sahadeva killed the old hag Shakuni on the 17th day of the Kurushetra war to avenge for the insult the old hag bestowed upon Draupadi. So what will happen to this Shakuni ?. Well Mr Sahadeva doesn't have to take a re-birth. Nope. 17 days is not required. The work will be done by itself. 

Oh last but not least, I got something to say very publicly too. Shakuni, these are the moments/happiness/goods that you stole from me. Stolen moments/happiness/goods give temporal happiness or even temporal satisfaction that may satiate your needs. But only those that are earned last longer. At this juncture, you will never have the deep-seeded guilt because this is the fruits of your labour. (Anyways only dogs know what gratitude is or I shall not expect anything from a dummy piece). But one day, you would feel the pinch and then you would realise that whatever you have been embracing thus far, was the light that reflected off me - the moments/happiness/goods that you stole from me and my game would start. You may take this message with a pinch of salt but just mark my words. Personally, I would rather eat the fruits of my own labour than to eat the fruits of a stolen good. 

Last but not least.

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FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU

 Based on a good friend's advise, I decided to do some therapy. More ranting will appear in a bit.

Vithiya 'Vitz'

11 Jan 1987

Undergrad (Psychology)

Manchester United

vithiyakumar11@gmail.com

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