Signs. Signs. Signs.

Closure is attained when you've found the answers. So what about the heart that is engulfed with a multitude of questions and bombarded by a hailstorm of "what ifs" ?. It's not difficult to get lost in the labyrinth of questions, is it ?. No matter how much you may run, the chains of the unanswered questions pull you back. You're fighting an endless war - with .... an enemy whose face is concealed behind that maze of perplexities. With a plethora of unanswered questions, the tears behind your pain would be your only solace. Only.

Hum tere bin ab reh nahin sakte
Tere bina kyaa vajood meraa
Tujh se judaa gar ho jaayenge
To khud se hi ho jaayenge judaa

Kyonki tum hi ho
Ab tum hi ho
Zindagi, ab tum hi ho
Chain bhi, meraa dard bhi
Meri aashiqui ab tum hi ho

Teraa meraa rishtaa hai kaisaa
Ik pal door gawaaraa nahi
Tere live har roz hain jeete
Tujh ko diyaa meraa waqt sabhi
Koi lamhaa meraa naa ho tere binaa
Har saans pe naam teraa

Tere liye hi jiyaa main
Khud ko jo yoon de diya hai
Teri wafaa ne mujh ko sambhaalaa
Saare ghamon ko dil se nikaala
Tere saath mera hai naseeb judaa
Tujhe paa ke adhoora naa raha


I can't live without you now,
what's my existence without you.

If I get separated from you.
I'll be separated from my own self.

Because you alone are,
Now you only are,
Life. You're my life,
My peace and my pain,
you alone are my love

How's this relationship of ours,
I don't like distance of even a moment
Everyday I live for you.

All my time is for you
There shouldn't be a moment of mine without you,
There is your name on every breath 

For you, I lived
I have given myself (to you)
Your faith (my love for you) took care of me
Took all the sorrows from my heart

With you my fate is attached,
Getting your, nothing is incomplete (within me, I got completed). 

So it's my baby brother aka my hero's birthday today. I wrote a long post for him on FB and I shall copy and paste it here.


 



News

Last but not least, I got the following email and I swear, I really didn't know how to react. I captured it on placed it on FB and it garnered so much of likes and comments. Like totally a barrage of likes and comments.



I am truly humbled and am in totally appreciation of all those support, love and concern. I truly am. I have no idea how this even happened but I guess this was made possible by Him and Her. Thank you so much. 

So I will be revising my blog and will be removing some post that were laden with crude language because I may never know the age of those who may chance upon this blog and I would never want to advocate the wrong things. But then again, it will never stop me from typing my reflective entry on 31st December 2013. It's a very important date :)

The day I died. Quite badly actually.



Steady bo ! Without a boxing glove or the boxing rope. By the time it was over, my knuckles had turned red and I think they have swelled up. Tsk. Ok just take note of how much this punching bag moved from its original position.



Ready, steady, Po !



PAAM ! You throw a punch.



AND you get depress thinking how much your punch actually moved the punching bag. Yeah, I know. Trust me, it was soooooo depressing to note how much the punching bag actually moved when I threw some punches.


And see ! This fella was doing his intense circuit and boxing actually firms up your core muscles (one of my favourite though) and look at how much the punching bag moved ?! TSK TSK.




And all my life I've always underestimated the powers of a roller. I mean from a distance, the roller looks like a typical jujubi-workout and I've always laughed at the mere thought of working with it but today ..... haiz. So that's Mr Muscles working with the roller. Mr Muscles is on a 6 weeks cycle now. Basically it is an accelerated workout process where you get ripped really fast. It's not a healthy workout regime but definitely the easiest way to get ripped at a faster pace and most actors use this method to tone up for a movie. So Mr Muscles showed me a picture of him like 3 months ago - he had gone out of shape and within 2 weeks of this cycle, he had gotten his 8 pacs and obliques. Seriously, woah !

So on another note, I am undergoing my own cycle now. Definitely not a killer cycle which would eventually kill me ah but a healthier cycle. I have formulated an accelerated workout regime to shed those pounds that I have gained due to the whole Deepavali-Exam period and I only have 2-3 weeks to get into shape. So you can imagine.



And like I had mentioned, the ROLLER is a fucking killer ! I really really died. I had to modify my positioning a little due to my knee injury and so I couldn't emulate Mr Muscles entirely. But very embarrassingly, I couldn't roll back to my original position. Yeah, the ROLLER bloody tightens and firms up your core muscles. I swear it was unbearable that I thought I was going to shit. So after my circuit on the roller, I couldn't even do any crunches. That was how bad the roller was. I couldn't even bloody sit up.



See that grimace ? Yea, its the perfect articulation of the pain that I was going through.

Pain is good. It strengthens you. (This phrase can be applied across all board - in all kinds of situation).




Ram-Leela. I can watch it over and over again just for Deepika. I thought her South-Indian touch in 'Chennai Express' amplified her beauty but oh boy .... she's just too fucking fucking gorgeous in 'Ram-Leela'. She really messed up my mind that I'm catching up on all her other movies. Yea and some idiots think that I'm becoming a lesbian. I mean seriously ?. She is TOOO PRETTY and how can anyone like not get messed up ?. I think its her smile and her dimple and the mischievous glint that her eyes animates whenever she teases someone. She really looks too good, man. I thought she was amazingly fantastic in 'Om Shanti Om' but ... wow look at her progress. Anyways I am going to end it here because I will be writing a review of this flick some time later. Not now ah. And I am going to watch it all over again - just for you Deepika. Why you soooo pretty ??! And Ranveer, you're toooooo luckily to be acting in such a flick with her. 

Mixed emotions



GANESH SUNDRAM !!!! I love him man. I fucking fucking love his voice sia. He is definitely one talented singer who fucking deserves to sing on Vasantham. The best part is, I really wanted to go for the show for my Jordan (my awesome musician for #PoNeePo) and of course for Ganesh Sundram. I knew he was going to render my favourite songs :D ! So I was late for the show and I missed some songs - anyway they weren't my favourite numbers and so I was still cool. So I reached during the end of the 1st segment and right before the 2nd segment started. Met some familiar faces and some came up to me to congratulate me for the #PONEEPO video (I will talk more about it some other time) and soon, they started the second segment and Kaushik, Vignesh (Seelan), Vicky, Swathi and all rendered their bits and when GANESH came on stage I fucking screamed my lungs out I say. I simply couldn't control my own emotions and I recorded of all the songs he rendered because I simply love him. Hahhaa.

So right after the show, I took pictures with some of them and I literally ran behind Ganesh because I wanted to hug him and say he was just fucking amazing. Poor thing - he was on his way to the loo and when I called out to him, he simply turned around and walked towards me and of course I couldn't control myself and I pounced on him. Hahaha. And even before I opened my mouth to say he was just too fucking fabulous, he went like "OMG Vitz, your PONEEPO was too good. Your acting ..... OMG" and he did the "goosebump" thing and I swear I was tooo excited that I started jumping. I mean I really really really value Ganesh Sundram's comments and I wanted to listen to his feedback and I didn't expect him to talk about my acting and so I got too excited. I mean unknown to many, I initially wanted to work with him and my vocalist (the one who did the acoustic rendition for my PoNeePo) and I chose a different song but his schedule was kinda tight and we couldn't plan on it. So I opted for PoNeePo with no regrets and I really have alot of respect and admiration for Ganesh Sundram so you can imagine how I felt when he liked PoNeePo. I mean I thought he would place alot of emphasis on the singing part but I didn't know he would even like my acting and so yea.

And on that day, I realised that I had a HUGE HUGE SOFT CORNER for Ganesh. Yes. When I saw him walk on stage my heart really broke. I mean ..... I don't know how to make this sound but ..... he was like ... really big sized and he had trouble walking. He was swaying from side to side and it was obvious that he couldn't really walk and I swear that sight really really broke my heart. Like I really admire him so much and I just cannot accept the fact that he is not able to walk properly. I mean all this while I have never seen him walk and I never knew he had such a problem and when I asked Ragha about it, Ragha being the practical person that he was and always be, told me that Ganesh Sundram's knees will give in real soon and that really made me feel sooooo sad. I mean I got very teary la. Like he is fucking talented and it breaks my heart to watch a talented person like him go through something like that. I mean I know I sound fucking biased but who cares - he shouldn't go through such a problem because he is fucking talented. Wah lau ! I mean .... I naturally harbour very very soft corners for weird things and I swear, I naturally have a huge soft corner for talented people who're big sized. I mean yea, my previous posts from months back may show otherwise but I'm fucking serious. I have a HUGE soft corner for big-sized singers who have magic in their voices (but of course, if you're in my hate list then that becomes my trump card) and I have a plethora of soft corners for other weird stuff too .... like I have a soft corner for people who tie that holy prayer string (black/red) on their hands - I have no idea why ... I have a soft corner who those who smear that holy ash (vibuthi) on their foreheads and the bigger it is, more greater my soft corner. I have no idea why. So imagine how I felt when I saw Ganesh walking like that. Haiz. The best part is ... I am like listening to his rendition every fucking day and when I do, I really travel into a whole new world because he is just too good. Like a few friends spotted me in a daze at the canteen. I was listening to his rendition and I was just smiling to myself because he is good la. I love it when people respect the songs that they sing and you know, take good note of the minute nuances in the songs, improvise it and really sing it well. It makes me feel sooooooo happy. Like happy is a fucking understatement and its been a long time I last felt this way and Ganesh evoke those feelings all over again. I love your voice, Ganesh. Really do but your walking thing is making me feel soooo depressed.

AND AND AND ..... I was talking to Ganesh and he went like "so Vitz, can we work together. I really want to work with you" and I swear I almost died. OBVIOUSLY GANESH !!! Working with you would be another dream of mine ! So yes, the plans are underway. I already thought of a song and the storyline but I want to improve on it because this is going to be really really much more challenging than PoNeePo. I set my own standard with PoNeePo and now I got to stretch my own standards. So ........ let the count down begin. I am going to include a few surprises in the next video though :) !

And my salute to all singers who did so well on Sunday. Sometimes I wish I can sing equally as good as you'll. Especially Ganesh and one other vocalist whom I used to adore alot really do make me feel sucky at times. Like I love to listen to songs ... esp songs that has alot of technicalities involved and it makes me feel sad that I can only listen to them and not like .... reproduce it in my own version. The most that I can do is like .... suggest an acoustic version, listen to it .... have a rough mental schema on how it is supposed to sound like. Hahahaha....... ok la, I cannot ask God for too many talents all. But for whatever you had given me Lord, I thank you from the bottom of my heart.


Mixed emotions

People can sometimes make you feel distanced or distant with their actions and their words. Well what can we say. We came with nothing and we should understand that whatever that happens while we live are meant to be with us on a temporal note. So we should be prepared to let go at any stage. What do we do with emotional attachments and memories that embed in your heart ?. Well you should be strong enough to let go and be prepared to go. Simple right ?. Not exactly. But well, that's the sad part of our lives. We are literally trained to do that day in day out. So some people harden themselves to prepare for that journey and I guess, I got to do that too. Superficial. 

Meri Aashiqui.

Me and Jalabula jals, kolapannae bulls. Lol ! Wrist tattoos <3 p="">

I have an important announcement at the end of this entry. So feel free to scroll through.


One of the heartbreaking, "oh-no" moment.

ALERT ALERT ALERT



After alot of thinking, I have decided that since 2013 was such an eventful year (and it will definitely end up in a very eventful manner too) I will be writing a long blog post that sums up the very important events and lessons of the year and I will be doing a severe evaluations of them. I will be writing a similar post (yet shortened) post on Facebook and an extended version on my personal blog. So remember, remember - the 31st of December. A no-holds barred approach, yet again. The plans are underway though and I'll explain in detail as the days passes by. A very important decision of the year, this will be.

Vithiya 'Vitz'

11 Jan 1987

Undergrad (Psychology)

Manchester United

vithiyakumar11@gmail.com

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