Photolog of the day. 



So guess who gave us his wedding invitation card today. I really felt so so so happy for Chris. I mean marriage is a very beautiful thing and I'm glad to be part of this joyous occasion and Chris is like one of the friends from my first ever closest clique from SIM. So the whole clique are like reeling in alot of happiness. We wish you well, handsome !



To those who read beyond the words, you would be able to comprehend the reason behind this rumination and for those who don't, this would probably be some lunatic musing to justify a form of cyber activism on an obvious portal. 

9/10/13


 
And I am certain that deception can be formed with some corners and curves. The world with a colossal amount of people believe that deception is the key to a successful outlook of a human being. I am sure, a myriad of reasons would be given in support of superficial stance as compared to a deep-lying emotion. No ?.

I badly wanted to go to the temple to meet some old three-dimensional friends. I needed some divine intervention to attain some celestial bliss. I had initially planned to head to the temple on Tuesday until N decided to call for a meet-up with G and S on Wednesday and G told me that she was heading to the temple for some prayers. So I think you can imagine my elation when I realised it all. I knew that I was battling with a huge concern - I was on the verge of not being able to enter the temple and I literally prayed for a few days just to be able to enter the temple on Wednesday (no, I am not possessed). When I stepped in, I realised how much I had missed praying. I met my old friends and I conveyed my messages clearly. In all honesty, I was at the peak of extreme happiness - I felt so peaceful and contented and I would have sincerely appreciated it if my day had concluded well but no. Towards the end, my bliss turned into extreme hatred and I decided to exit the temple to pacify myself. S and N were waiting right outside the temple and they comforted me for a while and even tried to change my mood. Sorry guys, but thanks.


So the night ended on a sad note for me - a barrage of memories flooded my perplexed mind. The age-old turbulence had reached the zenith and I was left completely discombobulated. I know how detached my mind and soul was that even the symphony of thoughts were completely disconcerted. I don't even know if my current mood adheres to the geriatric tone that generalises such instances.

This cardiac organ may just be a biological clock within us that offers a range of advantages. But sadly, this cardiac organ is also infused with emotions. Emotions that can also annihilate you. It sounds funny to say this but when it shatters deep within you, only you can feel that searing pain from within, that hollow right beneath your chest and that suction that leaves you breathless. At that juncture, the clawed grip of death would seem as the best elixir to escape from the arising paroxysm of torture. But the emotional scarring it may inflict on familiarised relations can force you to expunge that thought of your mind. So suffering in silence was the best panacea, or so as the loved ones said.

So the forced acceptance triggered a spectrum of shades from within. Shades I never knew I had. The Iago in me stood out. It was a duel between the light and the darkness. The face-off that ended with a pyrrhic victory. But my twinsoul knows that I never adhered to my primal instincts but rather, the darkness from within prevailed with devastating effects. A period where the soul acted like a boomerang. It was like threading into new and choppy waters with no confidence. It was like a sense of threat that was imposed on myself to heighten the blurred version of an emotional security. Or maybe, it was like an iron-clad glass wall that served as a stable conduit between the harsh reality and the facade I thought I had wanted. 

So the prominence of the perceived belief dissolved overtime. The masqueraded notion was challenged by the moral anchor. The muscular opponent won. The tongues from the society started wagging. A journey that they thought they knew but unfortunately, on a superficial level. To each, his/her own pain.


At the very end of the day, the searing pain from within, that hollow right beneath the chest and that suction that leaves me breathless still exists - deep deep down to a place where no human touch can reach. 

"What do you do when the one person you want comfort from the most is the one who caused your pain ?. How can I want so desperately for him to wrap me up in his arms but also want so much for him to leave me alone ?". 



Oh, I am fine :)

"I know if I could find the words
To touch you deep inside
you'll give my dreams just one more chance
To let this be our last goodbye".

"But only love can say,
Try again or walk away". 

And the sun never did shine. 

Vithiya 'Vitz'

11 Jan 1987

Undergrad (Psychology)

Manchester United

vithiyakumar11@gmail.com

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