The unpredictability of the colour .

Saturday, August 31, 2013

Music, life and love

Anyways, today I am going to talk about Music in general. Well I am in the mood to :) !

Raanjhanaa

Stellar performance from Dhanush all over again ! I guess the portrayal of "Zoya" was perfectly executed by Sonam Kapoor. Sonam Kapoor, the daughter of the veteran, Anil Kapoor made her debut with 'Saawariya' and it was really bad. But she came back with a bang with "Raanjhanaa" and well, I am yet to watch "Bhaag Milkha Bhaag". Dhanush - what can I say about you ?. You're amazing man. I loved your performance in 'Kadhal Kondain' and I did tell my friends that you did so well for a newbie and true enough, you sizzled in 'Aadukalam', won the National Award, gave really good movies (I'll never forgive you for making me cry my butt out with your portrayal as 'Ram' in '3''s climax). You went over to the North and made us proud with your stellar performance in 'Raanjhanna' and even did outstanding well in 'Maryan'. Way to go Dhanush !

And now, let me talk about Abhay Deol's portrayl of Jasjeet Singh / Akram Zaidi. Abhay did decently well. But anyways, I need to mention something about him. I was never a huge fan of the Deol brothers. But for some reason, this Abhay is making me change my mind. I mean yea, he acted in 'Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara' but Hrithik Roshan was there and my focus zeroed in to him. I mean such a hot hot bod, his hair, his Italian features, his sleek dance moves, his characterisation and etc etc. Hahhaa. So I didn't quite focus much on the poor Abhay. The only thing I remembered about Abhay was his dimples - he has such deep dimples on both cheeks. Woooo nice ;) !

So his portrayal of the student leader cum political activist in 'Raanjhanna' totally won me over. I mean I loved that character so much. Just like my kinda guy. So I was secretly admiring him and his dimples and of course, that character itself. I mean from 'Zoya' POV, I can feel for her man. Like she fell in love with 'Kundan' when she was in secondary school and she was sent abroad for education and during that 8 year long gap, she fell for Jasjeet. I mean you cannot really blame the 3 characters for feeling what they felt. Kundan being devastated, Zoya not being able to convey why her taste changed after 8 years (her transformation into a woman) and the poor Jasjeet.

Anyways, Abhay isn't all hunky dory (not in the league of Hrithik and John Abraham) but I can't help it, he's cute. Sometimes I wish I can kiss him on his cheeks that are replete with stubbles and watch the deep dimples. Ahhh whatever. Hahaha.

A 'cleaner' looking Abhay

And Abhay never looks clean-shaven. Hahha.

So talking about 'Raanjhanaa' - I decided to listen to the songs from that flick all over again. Woooooohooo, Shreya Ghosal - why are you doing this ??. Amazing !

Her rendition of 'Banarasiya' was mindblowing ! Wow. But I don't understand why they got Sweta Mohan to render the Tamil version of 'Banarasiya' (named Kaalarasiga). I mean Shreya Ghosal can sing in both Tamil and Hindi what ?. I don't know. But you can really compare the versions by both singers and you would know Shreya's capability. Simple amazing. I mean Sweta did a good job but it was just too obvious.

So I started to listen to Shreya Ghosal's voice and I somehow missed her beautiful voice. So I started listening to some of my favourite songs by Shreya. She's just magical. I am so happy that after Chitra, we have Shreya. WOW ;) ! I just realised how much I had missed music. Woooo, beautiful day.

Aashiqui 2

Shreya Ghosal's 'Sun Raha Hai' and Arijith Singh's 'Tum Hi Ho' were amazing. I mean Shreya's 'Sun Raha Hai' was on bloody repeat mode for months ! You're amazing Shreya. Love you !

Rockstar

Too many emotionally-charged songs in this flick but one of my personal fvaourite is 'Naadan Parindey' by ARR and Mohit Chauhan. A bloody emotionally-charged song. Amazing. Oh and Ranbir's performance was out of the world !

Seriously, Sangeet - music is life. Beautiful entity. A soulful experience :)

I am who I am. Frankly, I don't know how to suck balls or carry your butt for you. If I don't like you, I would show it in my acts and I would make sure you know it too. That is just me. Sorry, I am not an expert at 'angkat-ing'. Cheers.

You got coloured @
3:49 am
[c]d4rkang3l

Thursday, August 29, 2013

BRUTALLY HONEST PART 3

Firstly, I need to confess that I have been receiving a plethora of personal messages on my Facebook from many people. The funniest thing is, I am like receiving messages from people who are closely connected to that backstabbing creature. Really, it really really amazes and interests me. Sometimes I wish I can just you know, be transparent ;) ! But then again, if I choose to backstab then there won't be any difference between me and my backstabbing counterpart, eh ?.

Anyways, after some time, I decided to tell Deadpool everything and that is his message to me - and he even ended it off with his signature :P !

Btw like I said, I don't have people around me who glorify or undermine my past but rather, I have people who acknowledge my past and exercise their analytical thinking and evaluation and sieve out the right from the wrong and choose to shed light into recognising my attempt at placing my mistakes as a platform to become a better person. I definitely don't have people who undermine their own sins and glorify their mistakes by putting me down just like how the backstabbing creatures have been behaving. So since I'm quite transparent enough, let's see what Deadpool had to say. Oh, I am choosing not to conceal any names here. Transparency at work.

I think the take-away message here is - "Trust is a fragile thing and be careful of who you give it to". The funniest thing is, when you get closer to someone you end up telling them everything. You bear your heart out. You think that they will safeguard your innermost thoughts and maybe, secrets. But then again, no one can see what lies beneath that human skin. Some people are cheap - they will do ANYTHING to backstab you. Like for an instance, you adopt a certain level of comfortability and you might end up telling your bestfriend that you have a sexual fetish or maybe, that you missed being intimate with your boyfriend. I mean every one have such inclinations and no one would be going around sharing such personal details with everyone they see on the roads but they will definitely tell their bestfriends or close friends. So the bestfriend / close friend has the duty to safeguard your personal details or to backstab you, right ?. So let's say one day you get raped and your bestfriend can choose to be there by your side or fuck you up, right ?. I mean that is a personal choice - and that is how we can sieve out the fair-weathered friends from the truthful ones. But let's say, after some time your bestfriend strings your personal details up and comes up with a baseless conclusion like :- "Oh, I think my friend got raped because she has sexual obsession cos I remember her telling me she has fetishes and misses intimacy". Seriously, what kind of friend he/she ends up becoming ?. I mean firstly, as a friend if you cannot understand another friend that itself proves how good you had been all this while. A failed friend. A failed friend who decided to jump into baseless conclusions just to rely on convenient excuses. Oh listen, money doesn't buy true love - it can be used as an instrument to extend your sincerity but it can never prove your sincerity or duty as much as your stand in a real situation. Oh, there is no pride is having a plastered smile when you know that was developed at the expense of someone else's misery and oops wait ..... your acts itself shows that your moral fibers come under sheer scrutiny or can I even expect you to feel from inside ?. No right. Oh no !

My first Brutally Honest Part 1 post showed the various ways in which those moral advocates (- note the plural form ah) had sinned and since they LOVEEEEEE to read my entries, so let's give them some room to think.

I love this placard alot because some idiots always use religion as their moral compass to advocate a certain form of morality. But then again, I guess the 2nd sentence is the bomb. So please ah, next time don't come and tell me that you have hardly erred because you're so religious. What's the point of fire-walking, doing rounds in the temple, fasting, praying and etc when you know that you had erred ?. This realisation would come in one day and even God would spit on your face. So next time when you choose to advocate the religious stance of yours, remember your sins and how cheaply you had tried to undermine them by placing over emphasis on someone else's past.

You got coloured @
6:36 pm
[c]d4rkang3l

Monday, August 26, 2013

BROOOTAALLLY HONEST Part 2

Welcome back. As usual, today's entry is going to be equally as interesting as the previous one. Like I had mentioned (and even challenged) in my previous entry, the readership for my previous entry increased tremendously. Good job, ah. So all the screenshots and wailing's been done ?. See, why the need for such a contradictory behaviour ?. You claim you hate my deed and how you think my value and worth had 'depreciated' then why are you so preoccupied with my life ?. I mean your new life with your new found slippers are making you soooo happy and contented then why poke your nose into my affairs ?. See this is where I know I won. I won not because I was/am slandering my old friends behind the smokescreen but I won because I know deep down that I wasn't the only one with the so-called "immoral act". I mean if everyone is as clean as they perceive they ultimately are, then I don't think they would need to like be so updated on what I am ranting about. They need that "moral"-booster to tame their own immoral acts, don't they ? ;)

Cognitive dissonance theory - romba applicable machi

The cognitive dissonance theory states that "we feel tension (dissonance) when two simultaneously accessible thoughts or beliefs (cognition) are psychologically inconsistent" (Myers, 2013). So meaning in order to reduce that psychological discomfort, you would try to adjust your thinking. So let's say you believe in altruism and your belief in altruism is changed due to a negative incident so the cognitive dissonance itself will create that psychological discomfort in you and you would try to adjust your thinking - maybe you might settle with the thought that you might only start helping people you know very well instead of a random stranger. So another theory that I want to introduce here is - "selective exposure".

"Selective exposure" is the tendency to seek information and media that agree with one's views and to avoid dissonant information. So that perfectly explains your stand, doesn't it ?. So don't come and say you had been a well-informed person, a fair person and whatnot. Because when you do that, I would make sure I send my saliva right to your doorstep and so that you can take a nice little shower with that. See, social sciences is an interesting field because you learn how to apply whatever you have learnt from the books to real life situations. Social sciences includes specialised fields like "anthropology, economics, political science, PSYCHOLOGY, SOCIOLOGY, COUNSELLING and even the humanities like cultural studies, communication studies and etc etc. So if you're in this field and you simply cannot apply what you have ingrained from your textbooks and lectures, then the whole purpose of acquiring that education in this field is a COMPLETE WASTE. C'mon la, don't waste your education due to your air-tight hole of a brain. I mean so many other people might have missed that chance to have acquired that knowledge, man. Haiz, sometimes some people should stop wasting time doing something that they're not prepared to face up to. Tsk.

Below is an excerpt from a well-known counsellor and psychotherapist

'Prejudice is, for good or ill, a part of our nature. It is instilled in us from birth onwards. All we can hope to do is to combat it, and the first tool in our armoury must be that of awareness. Without this, it is very difficult, perhaps impossible, for the psychotherapist or counsellor to explore how it might be influencing the psychotherapy relationship.

Difference, prejudice and discrimination are issues which all counsellors and psychotherapists need to address as part of their personal and professional development. Designed to support training on these complex issues

For most therapists and counsellors an attitude of acceptance and non-judgmentalism is fundamental to their view of practice. However, in seeking to be non-judgmental, therapists may run the risk of concealing their own prejudices. It is only by facing up to these attitudes and exploring them that therapists are able to fully relate to their clients and help them effectively.

So technically, I am dead-worried for the clients. I think at the end of the day, their own problem might be maximised and they would simply lose faith in trying to forge a new life for themselves. Haiz. Sad case.

I love the message in this placard. That's exactly what I did, didn't I ?. Placed them under my fucking feet and used them as a platform to view my horizon but sadly, some people who used to call themselves as my friends decided to use it to their advantage by placing their own judgmental beliefs, prejudicial and stereotypical thoughts and decided to push me down by targeting on my character and my self-worth. Tsk tsk. So I have something to share now :)

>
1) Stop spending time with the wrong people. – Life is too short to spend time with people who suck the happiness out of you. If someone wants you in their life, they’ll make room for you. You shouldn’t have to fight for a spot. Never, ever insist yourself to someone who continuously overlooks your worth. And remember, it’s not the people that stand by your side when you’re at your best, but the ones who stand beside you when you’re at your worst that are your true friends.

Isn't that true ? So don't call yourself MY FRIEND when you know you've lost that label a long time ago. I knew who stood by me in my worst moments and I will be there for them. I'll be their bulletproof vest.

2) Stop running from your problems. – Face them head on. No, it won’t be easy. There is no person in the world capable of flawlessly handling every punch thrown at them. We aren’t supposed to be able to instantly solve problems. That’s not how we’re made. In fact, we’re made to get upset, sad, hurt, stumble and fall. Because that’s the whole purpose of living – to face problems, learn, adapt, and solve them over the course of time. This is what ultimately molds us into the person we become.

Amen to that. It has moulded me to become a better person

3) Stop lying to yourself. – You can lie to anyone else in the world, but you can’t lie to yourself. Our lives improve only when we take chances, and the first and most difficult chance we can take is to be honest with ourselves.

Yes, I was honest with myself and I am so proud of it. At least it didn't take me decades to come clean with myself :)

4) Stop putting your own needs on the back burner. – The most painful thing is losing yourself in the process of loving someone too much, and forgetting that you are special too. Yes, help others; but help yourself too. If there was ever a moment to follow your passion and do something that matters to you, that moment is now.

Yes and I guess I paid the price for it :)

5) Stop trying to be someone you’re not. – One of the greatest challenges in life is being yourself in a world that’s trying to make you likeeveryone else. Someone will always be prettier, someone will always be smarter, someone will always be younger, but they will never be you. Don’t change so people will like you. Be yourself and the right people will love the real you.

6) Stop trying to hold onto the past. – You can’t start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading your last one.

7) Stop being scared to make a mistake. – Doing something and getting it wrong is at least ten times more productive than doing nothing. Every success has a trail of failures behind it, and every failure is leading towards success. You end up regretting the things you did NOT do far more than the things you did.

8) Stop berating yourself for old mistakes. – We may love the wrong person and cry about the wrong things, but no matter how things go wrong, one thing is for sure, mistakes help us find the person and things that are right for us. We all make mistakes, have struggles, and even regret things in our past. But you are not your mistakes, you are not your struggles, and you are here NOW with the power to shape your day and your future. Every single thing that has ever happened in your life is preparing you for a moment that is yet to come.

EAT THAT BITCH. Seriously, EAT THAT.

9) Stop trying to buy happiness. – Many of the things we desire are expensive. But the truth is, the things that really satisfy us are totally free – love, laughter and working on our passions.

10) Stop exclusively looking to others for happiness. – If you’re not happy with who you are on the inside, you won’t be happy in a long-term relationship with anyone else either. You have to create stability in your own life first before you can share it with someone else.

11) Stop being idle. – Don’t think too much or you’ll create a problem that wasn’t even there in the first place. Evaluate situations and take decisive action. You cannot change what you refuse to confront. Making progress involves risk. Period! You can’t make it to second base with your foot on first.

MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

12) Stop thinking you’re not ready. – Nobody ever feels 100% ready when an opportunity arises. Because most great opportunities in life force us to grow beyond our comfort zones, which means we won’t feel totally comfortable at first.

13) Stop getting involved in relationships for the wrong reasons. – Relationships must be chosen wisely. It’s better to be alone than to be in bad company. There’s no need to rush. If something is meant to be, it will happen – in the right time, with the right person, and for the best reason. Fall in love when you’re ready, not when you’re lonely.

14) Stop rejecting new relationships just because old ones didn’t work. – In life you’ll realize that there is a purpose for everyone you meet. Some will test you, some will use you and some will teach you. But most importantly, some will bring out the best in you.

Maybe I need to internalise this :)

15) Stop trying to compete against everyone else. – Don’t worry about what others are doing better than you. Concentrate on beating your own records every day. Success is a battle between YOU and YOURSELF only.

16) Stop being jealous of others. – Jealousy is the art of counting someone else’s blessings instead of your own. Ask yourself this: “What’s something I have that everyone wants?”

Yeap, keep your jealousy at the bay, bitch.

17) Stop complaining and feeling sorry for yourself. – Life’s curveballs are thrown for a reason – to shift your path in a direction that is meant for you. You may not see or understand everything the moment it happens, and it may be tough. But reflect back on those negative curveballs thrown at you in the past. You’ll often see that eventually they led you to a better place, person, state of mind, or situation. So smile! Let everyone know that today you are a lot stronger than you were yesterday, and you will be.

Of course, I don't need people to carry my backbone for me. I can stand ALONE and do it myself :) and I don't need sympathy votes too.

18) Stop holding grudges. – Don’t live your life with hate in your heart. You will end up hurting yourself more than the people you hate. Forgiveness is not saying, “What you did to me is okay.” It is saying, “I’m not going to let what you did to me ruin my happiness forever.” Forgiveness is the answer… let go, find peace, liberate yourself! And remember, forgiveness is not just for other people, it’s for you too. If you must, forgive yourself, move on and try to do better next time.

Nope, I am gonna go against this. I think 'forgiveness' is an overused word that is meant to sweep everything under the carpet. Back in the past I used to forgive easily because I had believed in this but nope, not this time. I am hard-on and am very sure this episode is a very important one that eventually changed me into who I thought I would never be.

19) Stop letting others bring you down to their level. – Refuse to lower your standards to accommodate those who refuse to raise theirs.

It's not about me meeting your standards. Your standards can anytime lose out to mine. Don't forget your own roots and where you started from. So I am not lowering to to suit your fat butt.

20) Stop wasting time explaining yourself to others. – Your friends don’t need it and your enemies won’t believe it anyway. Just do what you know in your heart is right.

Hahahahaha. True, isn't it ?

21) Stop doing the same things over and over without taking a break. – The time to take a deep breath is when you don’t have time for it. If you keep doing what you’re doing, you’ll keep getting what you’re getting. Sometimes you need to distance yourself to see things clearly.

22) Stop overlooking the beauty of small moments. – Enjoy the little things, because one day you may look back and discover they were the big things. The best portion of your life will be the small, nameless moments you spend smiling with someone who matters to you.

23) Stop trying to make things perfect. – The real world doesn’t reward perfectionists, it rewards people who get things done.

24) Stop following the path of least resistance. – Life is not easy, especially when you plan on achieving something worthwhile. Don’t take the easy way out. Do something extraordinary.

25) Stop acting like everything is fine if it isn’t. – It’s okay to fall apart for a little while. You don’t always have to pretend to be strong, and there is no need to constantly prove that everything is going well. You shouldn’t be concerned with what other people are thinking either – cry if you need to – it’s healthy to shed your tears. The sooner you do, the sooner you will be able to smile again.

26) Stop blaming others for your troubles. – The extent to which you can achieve your dreams depends on the extent to which you take responsibility for your life. When you blame others for what you’re going through, you deny responsibility – you give others power over that part of your life.

27) Stop trying to be everything to everyone. – Doing so is impossible, and trying will only burn you out. But making one person smile CAN change the world. Maybe not the whole world, but their world. So narrow your focus.

28) Stop worrying so much. – Worry will not strip tomorrow of its burdens, it will strip today of its joy. One way to check if something is worth mulling over is to ask yourself this question: “Will this matter in one year’s time? Three years? Five years?” If not, then it’s not worth worrying about.

29) Stop focusing on what you don’t want to happen. – Focus on what you do want to happen. Positive thinking is at the forefront of every great success story. If you awake every morning with the thought that something wonderful will happen in your life today, and you pay close attention, you’ll often find that you’re right.

30) Stop being ungrateful. – No matter how good or bad you have it, wake up each day thankful for your life. Someone somewhere else is desperately fighting for theirs. Instead of thinking about what you’re missing, try thinking about what you have that everyone else is missing.

Last but not least, you can emulate my ways, my style, my trademark moves, my signature hobbies but you can never be me. Don't forget that. And I will never want to be someone else. I would want to be a better me. That's it.

How shit can transferred from one power arm to another.

You got coloured @
6:52 pm
[c]d4rkang3l

Sunday, August 25, 2013

BRUTALLY HONEST - this is it.

Ok today my blog entry is going to be very interesting. I bet the readership would increase tremendously. Ok before I begin, lets talk about beautiful stuff(s).

Not a huge fan of Metallica but then again, they're one of the 'big 4' of the trash metal ! So basically our sunny island were gifted to have them perform live at Changi Exhibition Centre.

Ok let's start the ball rolling with a quote :) ! A quote from one of the intelligent writers from the alma mater IIM Calcutta and one of the intelligent writers of our time - Amish Tripathi.

“Strong people stick to their morals, no matter what the trials and tribulations, Weak people, many a times, do not even realize how low they have sunk.”

I naturally love this quote because alot of idiots love to use this quote even without realising the true meaning behind it. I mean quotes are readily available and I thought education would help someone sieve out the meaning behind those quotes. So it's ok, let's give such idiots a grand applause for their asininity or for their innate capability to make asinine conclusions.

Here we go. Even 'Thalai' is amazed.

So since I loved the quote oh-so-much, I decided to discuss it with someone who thinks rationally. So here's her 2 cents worth.

So right now, shall we get the ball, rolling ??? :)

First and foremost, what are morals ?. They're principles or rules of right conduct or even the distinction between right and wrong.So basically it's your own perspective of what is considered right and wrong. Technically, the word to zoom in to would be "YOUR OWN PERSPECTIVE". So don't be a mama-jango and impose your beliefs on people. Your distinction of right and wrong should help you sieve out your own behaviour. If you think eating apple is against your moral values, then you don't eat la. You think you got big ***** ah - that you can extend your moral compass to other people. If you want to, you can expect your husband or your boyfriend (wife/girlfriend) to not eat apples but how can you expect other people out of your sphere to not eat apples ?. Seriously, what kind of a mama-jango are you ?. People like you must be sent to Delhi to be gang-raped (in all 3 holes).

So right now I really want to set forth and analyse a few things ah. Sorry ah peeps, some parts will be extremely vulgar cos I need to send across a message.

#1 : Invading into someone else's privacy

Let's say a pathetic bastard of a boyfriend decides to hack into his girlfriend's Facebook account and reads her personal messages. So I believe invading into people's privacy is hmmmm a low-life attitude and of course, immoral ?. So how do one justify their act ?. "Oh sorry ah girlfriend, I was masterbating and my fingers accidentally got pulled by some gravitational force that came from the laptop screen and somehow it clicked onto Facebook, typed your email add and your password and made me go to your personal messages". Is that it ?. Hhahaha. Oh please la. C'mon, get a fucking gripe.

So basically here's my point. Somehow or rather, most of us are guilty of invading into people's privacy. I mean, it really happens la. But if believe there is something called "putting things into context" or even "measuring the appropriate context". So let's say you invaded into someone else's privacy and you find out that that person had been harbouring some hatred towards your bestfriend. What would you do at that juncture ?. I mean if you're a sensible individual, you would try to resolve that difference of opinion that person had on your bestfriend so that things are better. Yes ?. So at this juncture, if you looked at the context this situation was put into, you would realise that although invading someone else's privacy was IMMORAL, the context looks appropriate enough. I mean your intention was to resolve problems, so not so bad right ?.

Now let's look at situation #2. Some fucked up bastard decides to hack into your Facebook account for God-knows what reason and decides to read through your personal messages and conveniently selects a message from someone whom that person deems "dangerous" and reads through and finds out a whole heap of information about you. So at that juncture, what would be an appropriate course of action ?. To pluck up that same courage you had (when you decided to hack into people's account), and ask what had happened to that respective individual, right ?. So how would you determine the morality of an individual when that bastard decides to discuss about the information to some other individual who isn't as close to that affected person ?. Hey seriously, what had the education you had ingrained so far taught you about such information ?. The most respectable thing that you could have done was to fucking ring up the person IMMEDIATELY and enquire - not start yapping that 'cheebye' mouth of yours and start spreading about that information to the people around. So how 'moral' are you here ?. Did you bother placing things into context ? Your evaluation of the context itself was as brilliant as your _________. Bravo, bravo, bravo ! Fucking imbecile. So, "strong people stick to their morals no matter what trials and tribulations...". Wasn't that a trial ? Wasn't that a test of your friendship ? Wasn't that a test to show how genuine you were as a friend ? So what happened to that trial ?. Shit, how could you stoop so low ?. So, where was your morality ?. So if you yourself cannot uphold that morality shit then you fucking "thevadiya pundeh", learn how to shut the FUCK UP !.

#2 : 1st class backstabbing

First and foremost, I had prior experience of getting backstabbed by someone I had held close to my heart. So basically I knew how painful backstabbing was. Some people even vouched that they can never belong to that group - the backstabbing group. So let's analyse ah. When you had found the information from the Facebook message what did you do ?. Did you thought of bringing it up to the affected person ? No. A test done on your friendship was fundamentally proven on that day itself. Well done. So you effectively backstabbed that affected person. Don't you dare say that wasn't backstabbing. That was 1st class backstabbing and trust me, if you had taken a degree in backstabbing, I am saying you would have attained 1st class honours, hands down. Bravo, bravo, bravo ! Don't you dare say you were a confused little donut because that would be a convenient excuse to justify your actions at that point in time. And then, a few weeks later, you and your side-kick decided to indulge in another backstabbing session at that McCafe ?. Bravo ! The most respectable and MORALLY-UPRIGHT attitude would have been to ask that affected individual what the whole story was about before you opened your "cheebye" mouths to conveniently backstab that affected individual . So at that juncture, what did you think of ah ?. On how morally-upright you were or decided to be contented on how your family had brought you up ?. Why is it that its soooo easy for you people to backstab ah ?. I'm really wondering sia. So backstabbing is considered morally-upright ah ?. How different were you from Silas ? Or how different were you from Judas Iscariot ?. If you had the guts, you should have stabbed me in the front - not like some pathetic low-life pariah by stabbing me in my back. And please ah, don't you dare justify your act. I bet you know deep down that you had backstabbed me.

Oh and I forgot. Once upon a time, history actually showed that some people do enjoy backstabbing to. Like there were a group of people who had a small misunderstanding and instead of solving the problems, they decided to have an exchange of opinions where Person A decided to backstab Person B. Person A actually told Person C what Person B had mentioned about Person C. Perfect backstabbing. I mean at that juncture, Person A and B were at loggerheads. So it was much more convenient to backstab Person B since Person B was not there. So in short, it was a session where Person A and C did some sharing of opinions but then at the end of the day, Person C was made to look like some double-headed snake. Sadly. But my question is, no matter what the trials and tribulations are, morals shouldn't be compromised, can they ?. So that that juncture, your morals can take the backseat because YOU were involved ? Yeah, apologies make the world go round. But never forget your own history ah. But of course, there was Person D. Person D's assistance was greatly sought after because Person D was considered to be rational at that point in time. Person D was morally upright at that point in time and somehow Person A knew Person D would be able to rationally point out advantageous points to the overly-irrational Person B. So in short, it was ok to use Person D because the ultimate goal was Person B's friendship with Person A. So when the current situation took a twist of fate, Person A forgot the history and decided to 'angkat' Person B. Because Person B's friendship is still intact. Why bother about Person D or Person D's side of the story ?. It's way too convenient to turn a blind eye to Person D. So luckily Person D had a small meeting with Person C 6 days ago and Person D realised how things were concealed just for pathetic convenience sake ! So backstabbing is a morally-upright behaviour eh ?. Eh fucker, do you know the pain of getting backstabbed or not ?. So if you cannot uphold the whole morality shit, then 'thevadiya pundeh', I ask of you to shut the FUCK UP. Remember ah, neither you, your sidekick nor your acts were virtuous in the first place.Ohhh no wonder birds of the same feather conveniently could flock together :P

#3 : A secret safely concealed for more than a decade

Acquaintances normally become friends due to the similarity of their preferences, tastes, dislikes, interconnectedness and etc. So friendships pass through a variety of stages. So let's say someone is your bestfriend - the basic thing you would expect is for them to be transparent right ?. So you would eventually place that trust on them and tell them the secrets you have held dearest to your heart. Like family secrets, your past and etc etc. Right ?. It's fair that both parties (both bestfriends) share that transparency right ?. I mean how fair will it be when Friend A shares 95% of the secrets while Friend B shares 25% of the secrets ?. But of course, some people would choose to share 100% of their past or secrets with people who they can really talk to, whom they can be really transparent to and they don't have to be that person's bestfriends. I mean, you got to be able to have that connection to share as much. So how would you conclude the morality of a person who decides to conceal an important life event for more than a decade- meaning they never spoke about it at all to ANYONE - even their bestfriends or their close "brudder/sista" ?. Why conceal ah ?. You decided to conveniently conceal that information just so that your image can be protected ?. How livid were you when you realised people got to know ?. Why ? Because your image may have been compromised ?. Trust me ah, there is no pride in having a false pretense la. You either be open about it and get people to honestly form up opinion about you not the other way round. So my question is, if the situation did not present itself at that point in time, this concealed information would have extended for another 2-3 decades, right ?. So hiding something like that to protect your oh-so-virtuous image is considered morally upright ??? You may turn the table and ask me the same question but I don't think I hid it from people. I wasn't proud of the deed but I had the fucking guts to confess it to a close one who had close connections with the backstabbers. I faced the fuckin music with guts. Not like you, like a pathetic mama-jango. So again, you fucking "thevadiya pundeh", if you cannot uphold that whole morality shit, then learn how to SHUT THE FUCK UP or else, go get your mouth gagged with hotdogs. If you get what I mean !

#4 : Two-headed snake

Actually I never come up with this term. But Person C (refer to #2) came up with this term and I think it's just too apt for that creature. So basically you go around bitching about people. Bitching about how you think they breathe down your neck, how you think they are too persistent, how you think they want to be your friend, how you think your colleague is so horny, how you think your jealous cousins are peeping on your achievements, how you think your colleague's husband wants to sleep with you and etc etc etc. I mean we all bitch about people la. No harm here. I mean you can bitch to your friends what - what are friends for ?. But then my question is, do you bitch about someone that badly and pretend to be all so sweet to them infront of them ?. Like if you despise Apple, would you try to drink Apple Juice infront of Apple ? Some people do that la. I mean they say you got to be 'professional' and all. But is that a morally-upright behaviour ?. You bitch about how horny your colleague is, how she does various sex positions and how it makes you wanna puke out but then again, it's morally-upright to be going to her for advices on life, it's morally-upright for going out with her and ya-da ya-da ?. If you're an advocate of morality, then I think you should jolly well omit such instances where your own morality should be a subject of severe scrutiny ! Trust me ah, your bitching has even extended to your own bloodline. So of all people, you should be talking about morality when yours is ..... screwed up. So "thevadiya pundeh", if you cannot uphold that morality, then learn how to SHUT THE FUCK UP and please don't act like some advocate. Ponna mama-jango sial.

#5 : Breaking friendships

The fact of the matter is YOU are a genius at breaking friendships. I mean I got to give that to you. I sincerely wonder if you know what friendship means. Please ah, don't say you had portrayed "genuine love" half the time. That's the image you have created. But I beg to differ. I mean when you fight with someone, that "genuine love" is compromised that you can easily bitch about them and even backstab them ?. Wow, I am impressed. I so want to know what kind of genuine love that is. A true friend will never betray, bitch nor backstab. But I guess that is an utopian description of a bestfriend because NONE had been there. But I would safely confess that I have never backstabbed as much as I could have (I shall discuss more later).

Let me see how you can conveniently relied on your tactics to break people's friendships. First and foremost, let say you have a group of friends. Person A, B, C, D, E and F. Person A and B are bestfriends. But lets say Person A sees Person C as a sibling material while Person B sees Person D as a sibling material. Person E and F are just normal people. So like I had mentioned, fights are sooooo common in a group. So let's say, Person A and B had a tiff and they are not talking. As friends, Person C, D, E and F have the rights to intervene and make them talk or so. That is appropriate. But let's imagine Person A goes on to tell Person C how hurt Person A is and how she thinks Person B doesn't understand her feelings and how things are so bad that Person A wants to commit suicide ?. So at that juncture wouldn't Person C form up negative opinions about Person B ?. I mean isn't that character assassination done at its best ?. I mean if Person C had the brains, Person C would seek to clarify with Person B but if Person C doesn't do that, then isn't it placing Person B at disadvantaged grounds ?. Frankly, how fair is it for Person B ?. I mean if Person B had confiding in Person D and assimilated the character of Person A then it might have been fair, but was that the situation ?. Can you bring up an example of such a situation ?. You can't. Because Person B had always chosen to solve her problems by herself. I mean Person C and choose to side Person A - once or twice is ok la. But if you continue to do it over years, wouldn't it rub off Person B on the wrong end ?. So it's unfair if Person B starts to grow impatient with the character assassination ? What the FUCK ?. Let me tell you ah, if prostituting one's sympathy to gain attention is morally-upright, then I rest my fucking case. There is no difference in prostituting your body and prostituting your emotions to garner sympathy votes. I mean at least you get paid when you do the former. So yet again, you fucking "thevadiya pundeh", if you cannot be morally-upright, then you should really LEARN HOW TO SHUT THE FUCK UP. Don't come and talk as if you're some paruppu that advocates virtuous behaviour or morally-upright attitude. Fucking thevadiya naayi.

Probably, I am often scrutinised because I am just fucking vocal about my thoughts and I use vulgarities but doesn't your abstinence of the above-mentioned make you any better ?. Please.

I remember saying once that I was going to be brutally honest with my opinions. So here I am.

Brutally-honest

Firstly, I have no qualms about being honest because I am not losing anything. I might even portray as being "hot-headed" and etc etc. But I guess, its about time that honesty is placed at an advantage. I mean, I honestly don't have the need to explain nor defend my actions at all but please la, sometimes some fuckers really drive you to fucking explain and defend. I sincerely don't care about the repercussions anymore. If you think I am somewhat creating attention and slandering old friends, then so be it. At least I would die being fucking honest then die concealing shit for decades !

#1: First and foremost, I made my fucking mistakes and I had confessed that. If I had wanted to, I could have easily concealed it and NO ONE would have even known. But that wasn't my intention. I had erred and I was ready to put my ego down and face the music. If you sincerely doubt the credibility of the latter than I suggest you ask how it was conveyed to that close one of mine. I was fucking embarrassed and you will never know the pain I went through because of it. You will never even have that slightest of ideas on what happened behind that scene. No idea at all. Because I had never liked sharing my insecure moments to anyone. You had always mentioned that I was too grumpy, being so emotional, overly being agitated, doing so many fucking rounds out of the fucking blue in the temple with that fucking knee of mine (I am not trying to brag about it here - but there was a relevance) and etc. Do you have any idea what went through my mind then ? Do you have any idea how I had fought with my own mental blocks ? Do you have any idea how how I fought the fucking devils from within me ?. Do you even have the fucking idea on how guilt-ridden I was ? Oh you may say that my messages never showed my guilt-ridden side but like I had mentioned, I never show my insecurities to anyone. NEVER. Do you have any fucking idea on how something that I had done 2 years back was completely off my mind and how your handling of the whole matter had made me go through shit all over again ? Where were you ? Genuine love ? Trust me, you're too cheap to even utter such words. You will never know the pain I had acquired from it all. Do you even fucking know the mental trauma you made me go through ? Friendship ? Bestfriend - BOLLOCKS to that. Let me tell you, you had disappointed me more than Silas could ever have done. In my eyes, you're much more cheaper than Silas and I honestly feel sooo fucking disgusted to have even hugged and kissed you. I took the bullet for you too many times. Your ungrateful attitude would have forgotten those moments but I will never forget the pain you single-handedly made me go through. That pain is permanently etched onto my mind and I had wanted to remain me of the pain for as long as I breathe and that explains the primary reason behind that wrist tattoo. All you could have done was to have confronted me directly like a 'MAN' with "balls" but you proven that you're a total pottae-pundeh but choosing to backstab me. Never am I forgetting this. NEVER.

Let me tell you this - to you and your sidekick since both love to emphasis on the "morals" part and on how I had valued alot of things. Yes, I had strong opinions about alot of things. But as I myself went through a transitional period, alot of values and even my perspective of things changed. I am not saying I had stooped low but my perspectives changed and I decided to rationalised my beliefs. But yes, my mistake completely made me stoop low but I bounced back. If I had wanted to, I could have easily reverted to that same lifestyle all over again. It won't take me seconds to even go back. It will not. The temptations are aplenty. TRUST ME ON THAT. If you don't fucking understand what I am talking about then, go and ask your friends. But I know that I will never go back to that lifestyle because I have strong morals. My past mistakes may have compromised by morals - but that was on a temporary basis. Let me tell you fuckers, the trials and tribulations are mindfucking me alot but I know that deep down I am fucking strong enough to STICK TO THAT FUCKING MORALS of mine no matter how hard the fucking situation may be. But did you bother thinking about how much I had been fighting ? No. All you bothered about was the past. The past and the past and the past. Because you are an advocate of morality even when your own morality is under severe scrutiny ! If I had been weak like that cousin of yours, I could have used that particular convenient excuse of mine to continue with that lifestyle (Weak people many a times do not realise how low they had sunk). I was weak once but I am never weak again. Never. Anyways you are not there to see anything now and I was conveniently labelled when I had particularly abstained from that lifestyle for 2 years and it would give me an added leverage to go back - I mean I was blamed for it what .. so no harm going back because I would ultimately be rightfully punished rather than to be punished for abstaining that lifestyle for more than 2 years.

#2 : You know alot of people within that group itself can be placed under severe scrutiny and I can honestly say that I wasn't the only one that had such a lifestyle but the one and only difference is, they never had a bestfriend like you - a bestfriend who would choose to backstab them or partaking in character assassination or even a bestfriend who would judge them based on her own preconceived notions and so, their image is intact. Frankly how fucking fair is this ? So the question is, I should have placed my trust on a bestfriend who would have confronted me rather than to have backstabbed me, right ?. And let me tell you something, I have the right to be extremely livid with you. I sincerely do and expecting me to forgive you with that 1 SMS alone was fucking DUMB. Frankly, how sure are you that no one hid anything behind the 4 walls of their house ? Or how sure are you that no one did things that you despise ?. And even to set the records straight, when your decade-long secret was out, I had the liberty to assume the extent of your nature of it. But I chose to listen to what you had to say because of that thing called "trust" but let me tell you, how would I know that you actually told me everything that had happened ?. Trust, right ?.

#3 : Let me tell you this and even you would agree on this. For the information I know and for the power I have, I can choose to conveniently backstab you. It won't take me seconds. I am not issuing a threat here but I am fucking reminding you. People who share the same bloodline as yours come UP to me to seek information and I can easily throw a thing or two and I know deep down that the information that I give them will be valued highly. You know their nature well enough. If I had wanted to, I could have backstabbed you long time ago but I hate backstabbing. I may accidentally blabber the truth out when I am drunk but I can never conveniently backstab someone just to increase my leverage. That is the major difference between you and me. Major difference.

#4 : You know what I find extremely embarrassing ?. How people who're junior to you actually could come up and advise you on how you should have reacted and what was the appropriate behaviour when you had chosen to reveal the content of the information back then. Don't you feel embarrassed ?. Aren't you fucking old enough to know how to react accordingly ?. Do you honestly need people who're 3-4 years younger than you to correct you ?. All you could do was to sit in silence ? Your silence didn't mean your actions were justified. It simply means, you won on sympathy votes especially since you had previously done perfect character assassination of me and to make things even more perfect, my absence is there.

#5: Honestly, what was my mistake here ?. My mistake was long committed 3 years ago and I had abstained from that lifestyle for 2 years. I had enough punishments - mentally and physically. One day you would realise the amount of trauma and torture I had gone through. You will not understand as long as you do not have any idea on what entails it. So what was my mistake now ?. Am I to be blamed for that character assassination ? Am I to be blamed for growing impatient with the whole character assassination ?. Was I even wrong to have been vocal about it ? So if I had been a walking hypocrite like half of you from the group and if I had hidden that mistake, I would have been placed on a pedestal right ?. Bravo, bravo, bravo. I knew hypocrites scored high and well but I never knew they would be respected by my own friends. And yea, you can call me a hypocrite too. Your preconceived notions wouldn't spare this bit. Sure. You can. But I will still label those girls as how I had labelled before. Like I said, I had made the mistakes and I bounced back stronger to the extent of abstaining from it and I know that I am strong enough to stick to that moral despite the varying trials and tribulations but those girls, they simply harp on their mistakes and give convenient excuses to continue with it - meaning like how weak people stoop so low and don't realise how deep they had sunk. I can talk and judge because I had been there and I fucking know it.

#6 : Look, if you had been in my shoes, you would never have survived that all alone. My close connections to people were severed due to your selfish act. Like I had said, I had grown tired of the whole character assassination and I had enough ! But did I ignite the fire ? You did. Your acts drove me to this extent. Try facing your whole mental torture alone. Try facing them with your close ties severed. Let me tell you, your backbone would have shattered. You cannot survive this without that support on your backbone. Definitely not.

#7 : Don't latch your sorrows onto me. You mentioned you had to be a bitch to someone because she ill-treated me. But how can it be fair to me ?. I mean what did I do ? I never asked you to hate someone because they had ill-treated me. You jolly well knew how I could easily forgive people and how dare you latch your own intentions/sorrows/behaviours to me ?! Fucking hell. So when people inquire you, the whole blame would be thrown to me. Ohhh "paavam la __________. She did it for Vitz". How fucking fair can this be ? Can you change people's mindset to not think that way ?

#8: Let me tell you this on your face. Many people planted some thoughts on my mind way back then. I had always dismissed such thoughts but recently, a couple more people have planted that same thought onto my mind and I can't seem to dismiss it because maybe for once, I had been completely blinded and from where they stand, they get a clearer picture. Hahaha. Now I know.

Just to set the records straight, you may conveniently accuse "Moo" of 'angkat-bola-ing" or even replacing my ex bestfriend but let me tell you this, of all my friends, only she had gone through the worst of trials and tribulations that would make your fucking skin crawl. Her inputs are too valuable to me because like I had said, she went through shit and she understands. She doesn't act like she understands but she truly fucking understands. Her words are fucking more motivational and you have no idea how she had managed to strengthen me up over time. If her presence was omitted, I know it would have been difficult for me to come back up. It really pains me to note that someone outside my so-called sphere can show so much of concern for me when people within the sphere had vanished. No she didn't throw money to show her concern, no she didn't go around using "lovey-dovey words" to show her concern or love and no she didn't ankat me. But she was there. She truly was and still continues to. Like I said, I would take the bullet for her - anytime. Thank you, Moo. For once, I feel that someone fucking understands.

Let me end this off with saying, your preconceived notions are highly subjective and please don't try to be objective with them. And again, don't think I did this to create attention or to rip you off your happiness (as much as you have done to mine). I guess you need to know that people around you or people who know your shit are also telling me of how things are being portrayed and I had been silent but I guess I am fucking tired of being silent. And don't tell me you're innocent. Right now, I know how you had been portraying a certain image of yourself. But unfortunately, you had been a walking hypocrite because that extremely contented image of yours doesn't tally with how you had been secretly gathering information about my life. I do have my evidences. Like for instance, there is a reason why I had changed the layout of my blog counter because this current system does alot more than just calculate the number of times people visit my blog but it also ....... :) !

If your current life is sooooooo excellent, why do you have the need to spy on my life ? Genuine love ? MY FOOT !! There is the reason which unfortunately, idiots don't see. Let me tell you this - I only miss 1 major person and 3 other people and the moments, the laughter, the jokes that I could have spent with them. I swear, I finally feel sooooo fucking free. It's like as if I finally flew out of the cage ! Finally I can do things that I want to and not be accountable for it. I know it sounds funny but I feel as if I had broken up with a control freak of a boyfriend. I swear I don't even take any attempts to find out shit about your life. Because I truly don't care. I would have cared alot even if I had been at loggerheads with you if you had been a true friend but with all these backstabbings and character assassination, I swear I loathe you like crazy. Your image itself spells Nafrat to me. Nafrat Nafrat and alot alot alot of Nafrat (hate in Hindi). I only have 1 prayer with regards to you and you wouldn't want to hear it. So don't bother about my life or don't you even fucking dare taunt me.

When the major contradiction irks the fuck out of me. Fuck out of my life and stop spying on my life. No matter how much stuff may hurt you, I fucking don't care. I just don't.

Just go on and do what you're fucking good at :-

You got coloured @
5:45 am
[c]d4rkang3l

Friday, August 23, 2013

Ok, the pressure's on. Fuck, I'm like really really stressed up man. Shall explain more below.

My first graded assessment of my 2nd year, 2nd semester. Honestly, this grades really perked me up. The 87 marks was for DB and 80 was for my TMA1. Not an easy assignment but I'm truly happy to note that my marks were at the higher band. I mean I need such marks to push my GPA up to my desired level. So yes.

STRESSED UP

Ok, I am like really stressed up because, I have to do another Research Paper and the questions and the related topics are so God-damn tough ! Ok for those who didn't know this, I did my 1st ever research paper on 'Religion in Contemporary Society' and I touched on Islamic Banking. To set the records straight, I never knew what Islamic Banking was and yea. I mean firstly, I only know basic things about Islam and I swear I almost died during the course of the research paper. I really worked my ass off. I am really really proud to say that I fucking worked so God-damn hard on it. So at the end of the day, I actually got an A grade for my research paper. I swear I teared when I saw that grade. I mean I wanted an A and so I worked my ass off and I eventually got to taste the fruits of my labour. Soon, some people around asked me to send my research paper to them and so I did. I mean my close friends cringed at the prospect of reading through my research paper and I honestly know that none read it because hmmmmm ... I don't know. So strangers around requested to read my research paper and I swear that really made me happy.

So right now, I have to do another research paper on the topic ' "Media, Politics and the Citizen" and I am yet to develop the hypothesis. I am really stressed up sia. The topics that I should touch on is really tough. Chris did this module even before I did it and when I showed him the questions, he almost fainted. He went like "OMG, damn tough sia". I know I am just lamenting because somehow or rather, I know that I would eventually find that motivation and fury to do it but then again, I need to attain that A grade. Like I had mentioned, scoring an A for the 1st research paper has somehow placed that pressure on me to attain another A for this research paper. OMG, it's ok Vitz, you can do it ! I've got like 3 weeks. Hahahhaa. JESUS.

Firstly, I am truly happy that I've developed this close bond with 4 people from school. I mean we were like in the same module - 'Religion in Contemporary Society' and one day there was this discussion and we were like sitting closer to each other and we decided to form up into a group for that discussion. So we freely expressed our thoughts and my group was technically the most vocal group and all. Soon, I suggested creating a 'What App' group so that we could discuss TMA questions and that 'Whats App' group created that bond. We are not in the same module or the same class anymore but we always meet up. Like always. The best thing is, these fellas even initiate outings and all. I love them man. Like one of the best group of friends from SIM. I mean, it's like almost impossible to establish a close knit friendship in SIM since everyone is bothered about going home immediately once school ends and all. Hahhaa. I'm glad we're like one closely knit clique. To add on to this, we always share our problems, including the ups and downs in our lives. Like Yana went into depression due to the problems from work and how we actually brought her out of it. Chris is like getting married on Dec 8th and how he invited all of us to his wedding to share that happiness and how we ended up discussing the kind of attire we should be wearing for his wedding. Oh his wedding will be held in a ballroom in Swissotel and we're like "eh, we should start saving money ... confirm high-end gowns and tuxedos !" and Hyyn went like "wahlau wei ... gone ah like that" and how I went like "nevermind ah. If I am too broke, I would just wear a saree - sarees always look grand" and Hynn went like "Ok lor, you and Yana wear saree and Dinesh and I will wear Kurta top" ! Hahahaha. Hilarious man. The whole conversation was cute. Oh well. And how Dinesh is going to become a father in January. I mean Dinesh's wife is pregnant and she is expected to deliver her baby in January and just today Dinesh told us that they went for the scan and the baby's sex is established to be a boy. Dinesh called us and started screaming on the phone ! Hahaha. Truly happy for him man. I mean well Dinesh initially told us that he wasn't ready to be a father and how he was too stressed up and he ended up having unprotected sex (HAHAHAHA) and how he thinks he is not ready to be a father - like changing his baby's diapers, bringing the baby to the playground and all. Hahaha. Its like I never thought about all this stuff and his anxiety really got me, Yana and Hynn thinking. Hahaha. Like new experiences, new memories with an awesome group of friends. I love them man.

Chris and Hynn. Dinesh and Yana not in the picture.

Me, Hynn, Yana and Dinesh.

Ok, I miss this body frame !! Hahahaha. And I definitely miss dancing. Haiz.

You got coloured @
5:57 pm
[c]d4rkang3l

I have quite a bit to rant about and I might end up looking as if I'm suffering from bipolar disorder. But well, my blog, I rant lor.

Firstly, I'm terribly upset. Like really really heartbroken. I think I am just going to lock myself up in my room and bury my head into my pillow and burst out crying. There's is a specific reason to that. I shall explain with pictures.

This is the squid ink dish from Empire State.

This is the squid ink dish from Pizza Hut.

Ok, I'm quite explorative (if such a word exist) when it comes to trying new stuff - including new dishes (and many other stuff). So one of the dishes that I really wanted to try was dishes that used squid ink (cephalopod ink). I've tried a squid ink dish at Ambush before and the next time round, I tried it at Empire State and OMG, it was amazing. I really thought Empire State whipped up one of the best squid ink dishes ever. I really loved it so much. So my impression of squid ink pastas really got elevated. So on Tuesday, I decided to try Pizza Hut's squid ink dish. I thought the presentation itself was bad and I realised that the squid ink was like freshly added. Normally the pastas (spaghetti, risotto, pennoni lisci and etc) that are used to make the squid ink dishes would already be processed by the squid ink and so, the chefs would just have to use the pre-made pastas, add the ingredients and serve them up. So your teeth and all won't be stained. But then, like I said, Pizza Hut used freshly-squeezed squid ink.The squid ink was really too overwhelming and I kinda lost my appetite after a few mouthfuls of the spaghetti. So after that, I was like feeling quite uncomfortable.

So guys, this is where the sad part kicks in. When I got home that day, I went to poop. For those who don't know me well, I love poop-ing because it makes me feel so happy. It's like I always imagine my fats coming out together with my poop and it kinda stimulates my mood - psychologically and I get really so happy. So when I got home that day, I went to poop. So when I was done, I just looked at my poop and my heart shattered into smithereens. I was on the verge of bursting out there and then. My poop was FUCKING BLACK IN COLOUR. Imagine the heartbreak I got when I saw the colour of my el'precious :( ! So I told myself, that my poop decided to expunge the ink off my body. But until today (the last "excretion-session" was like in the evening), my poop is like jet-black. I don't know but I'm like really depressed. If my poop doesn't turn into a healthier colour by Sunday at most, I might get myself checked into IMH. I am serious. And squid ink dishes - thanks ah, I'm fucking traumatised now.

ANGER

This is Sivaram. Don't worry, he's not my boyfriend or so. This guy is a total annoyance. Like a bad itch on the exterior surroundings of your anus.

This idiot was part of the 'Footie group' - (I will explain more about the group below). This idiot is like a Pro-Bayern Munich fan. So lets say you post a soccer-related video on Facebook, somehow he would link that video to Bayern Munich and their current success even if the video was not about Bayern Munich. He's a complete idiot. I mean all this while he was relatively bearable la. Oh, he added me as a friend when I was introduced to the 'Footie group'. I thought he was being friendly and so I accepted his request (bad mistake). So one day I posted my review on 'The Conjuring' on my Facebook account. He came out of the blue and commented something like "there is no such thing as ghost. I can't believe educated people are talking about ghost. Based on my experience and knowledge, there is no such thing as ghost". I mean I am perfectly fine if you want to share your opinion. I mean airing your thought out 'loud' - literally loud, on Facebook means that you're prepared to see varying comments and of course, Facebook itself provides the platform for the sharing of opinion between different individuals. So I am cool. I rebutted him. I mean personally, I believe in both the supreme being - God and the supernatural beings - Ghost. I have my own experiences and I can say that based on my experiences with the supernatural beings, there is an unexplainable entity called 'ghost'. But then again, I believe in science. I mean I believe that it is important to back up your hypothesis with concrete evidence before you choose to disregard that hypothesis all together. Experiences doesn't equates to concrete evidences. Experience per se is subjective. So when something is subjective, how can you equate it to an evidence ?. So I summed up the whole scientific methods explained to him in layman term on how he should not be using his own knowledge and experiences as an evidence to prove or to falsify something that is even yet to be proven by science itself and obviously, he had no rights to impose his beliefs on others. So he started typing out an essay on how he thinks we are stupid to be believing in ghost, how he thinks he is right and ya-da ya-da ya-da. I tried my best to explain it to him - I think I tried about 4 times and I really got tired. So I ended off by saying that he is simply not comprehending what I had mentioned. So he just went like "I don't care. There is no such thing as ghost". So one of my friends, Sherman daringly commented saying "Vithiya, your friend is simply not getting the point". So Mr Sivaram got offended and he started insulting my friends. I swear I really flared up. I mean I can get very protective over people I consider my friends. So I gave it to him real nicely. So Selven had been observing all those stuff and he simply went and commented saying "Sivaram, I wish God had given you the brains to be sensible". The funniest thing is, Sivaram doesn't dare to reply to Selven or Paartheeban's comments. He's like afraid of them. Jackass ! So today, I posted the Champions League Final match between Chelsea and Man United in 2008. I was merely recollecting the beautiful moments. Paartheeban posted the Champions League match between Man Utd and Bayern Munich in 1999 and said that that was the moment no Man United fan can ever forget. I mean it is a very memorable video for all Man United fans.So I recalled how Sheringham and our baby-faced assassin scored against Bayern and killed all their hopes. So Sivaram decided to act all hero and picked up a fight on how I could comment about Bayern and how Man United didn't deserve the win and how we lost to them at later stages and etc etc. I was really annoyed. I kept my cool and replied nicely until he irritated the fuck out of me. So I simply made a last comment saying :- "Sivaram, the main problem is - you don't speak sensibly and tend to overreact. I already saw the depth of your capabilities at my 'Conjuring' post. According to you, there's only Sivaram's POV and every other POV is to be disregarded. I hate that. No one can hold a two-way conversation with you. That is the problem. I mean, my comment to Paartheeban's previous comment was to recount on a certain memory and I used "demolish". Did you bother finding out why I had used that word in that context ?. No. All you bothered about was- "dayum, she commented about Bayern and since I am pro-Bayern, I need to comment". People who know you so well already warned me about how "sensible" you are and I have been trying to be nice to you but I guess, this is just not working. Like I can't even have a decent sharing of opinion with you. Sorry Sivaram, it's really about time you consider what Selven had proposed on my 'Conjuring' post" and I un-friended him. I mean seriously I had enough man. I don't need imbeciles in my account. Like seriously.

Anyways Selven and Paartheeban warned me about the intellectual capacity of Sivaram but then I guess I was trying to be nice to him. He's such a fucker who thinks his POV counts while every other POV should be disregarded. What really angered me was how he found out that his bestfriend was gay and he fucking had the cheek to write up a status that he was denouncing his friendship with his bestfriend because he was gay and how it was against his beliefs and he tagged his bestfriend. I mean how could you ?! My tolerance for such bestfriends is really low. Maybe because I was fucked by wolves who donned the 'bestfriend' skin. I really hate backstabbing backfriends like Sivaram. I mean if you had been that so-called bestfriend, you would have done everything within your fucking means to find out the whole story before you place your motherfucking judgments on them. I mean, who the fuck are you to place judgments on them when you yourself know shit about their story ? So having your own preconceived notions gives you the right to place valued judgment on others ?. Well your preconceived notions is a major pain in the ass for God himself - because only God has the right to judge another. So ? Beat that, cheapskate bastard. And trust me, you have no right to stab a friend in the back. If you really want to, get the balls to stab them on the front. So I really despise Sivaram. Like really really. Hahhaa. Very explosive post eh ?. See I told you. Bipolar disorder.

Anyways, this is like 1/4 of 'Footie Talk' group. Selven introduced me to this group on Facebook. As in 'Footie Talk' Facebook group. Its a closed group and only members can see the stuff in the group. So Selven introduced me to that "Footie Talk' group because he thought I was good with soccer analysis. Paartheeban and Nayson are like seniors who had been watching soccer for like more than 2-3 decades. So they manage the group and all of the members are allowed to post soccer-related articles, hold a soccer-related discussion and all. Honestly, I love this group alot. Every single day, I would wake up to a plethora of posts in this group. One of my dream was to get my brother - Logesh into the 'Footie Talk' group. I mean I knew this group was sooo for Logesh. Logesh is like one of those guys who can make very good soccer analysis and I love his inputs man. So I added him to the group and I told Selven and Paartheeban to accept him and once Logesh got added to the group he started posting alot of soccer-related discussions and even actively took part in the discussions and he even told me that he loves this group alot. I felt really happy that he was liking this group so much. When I had a personal chat with Selven and Paartheeban, they told me that he thought Logy was good at analysing things. Of course la, my brudder what ! :P

These are the 1/4 of the members from 'Footie Talk' group. Oh fret not, I'm not the only girl there.

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3:58 am
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