Friday, May 31, 2013
Embarrassment
Wah, today something so embarrassing happened man. The thing is, I always visit the SG Gay Confession page and while doing so, I saw a confession that started like "I need help" and realised it was a long one. So I spent the time reading it and realised that the crux of the confession fitted my current situation. I mean frankly, the issues surrounding it was soo similar. I thought the comments people gave were even more fantastic. So I shared it on my FB page.
Suddenly my nearest Nesha messaged and asked me if I wrote that confession in the first place. I was like "WHAT THE FUCK ?!" ! I swear I never even write anything like that. It just that I found the crux too similar and so I shared it. Then I realised that people around who knows everything might eventually think that way and so I deleted it from my FB profile. But this is downright embarrassing sia. I mean why would I want to post as a GAY ?! I am feeling so paranoid that people are thinking it might be me. Ada paavigala ! I was telling Nesha that she just made me feel so damn paranoid and she thinks I am so funny to think that way. Wahlau, you asked me if I posted such a thing and you can tell me not to feel paranoid. Seriously ?! Hahahaha. Even if people are going to conclude, assume, presume or whatsoever, I will stand tall and say I really never posted it. I don't even have a need to.
Reflections
Then I ended up chatting with her and we spoke about a particular person and I realised how much that person meant to me since day 1. I mean it was a random conversation about that person but I was re-living the past events and then I realised that how much he actually meant to me and the cute/sweet things that he has done along the way. I mean sometimes, things look too ordinary to the blinded and we ignore such acts of affection, love, care and concern. Just let me rant here.
The person is none other than Mr Logesh - my brother from another mother.
I swear I look balloon-ed up in this picture - I have no idea why but ignore my face. Just look at his can already.
Actually events pertaining to me and Logy can be really funny. Our first meet up itself was funny. A friend introduced Logy to me and a Gaylord and we got him to sing a few phrases and I was like "eh, this tall guy can sing ah" and that young but tall guy eventually went on to become an important person in my life. Logy and I had many ego clashes. I mean we all have different personalities and somehow we just carried on. We fought the war and our bond remained intact.
This bond is something that I cannot explain about. It's totally indescribable and unexplainable. Sometimes you know you have this special attachment to someone and no matter what happens, no matter how many fights you have, how many arguments you have and what not, you can never remove that person off your life - well Logesh is one of them.
Until now, I have a certain gratitude towards him because he really did help me out at the very lowest point in life and no matter what I do, I cannot repay that gratitude. So maybe that sealed the bond itself - I don't know. But yes.
Even now, with regards to all those that had happened, he was one person who refused to listen to my explanation and sent me a message saying "no matter what, I can never see you in a different light because you're too important to me". Truthfully, that can be a very cliche statement but you have no idea how much it really means to me. Trust me we have our differences but no difference can ever break away this bond that we have. There was once when we had to go on a trip and a friend and I decided to go together- away from the majority of them. Even at that point in time, with varying misunderstandings, this brother could think about our welfare. I mean it was totally too unnecessary for him and yet, the worried look was totally etched onto his face. No words were needed to explain what he was thinking but that look itself spoke volumes. Even when we get there, he constantly made it a point to know if we were back to the hotel room - safe and sound. I mean why this even necessary ?. How do you even explain all this ?. Bond. Just 1 word, bond. You know, I can really go on and on and on about him. Really, this is just like 1/3 that I spoke to Nesha about. But yes.
I don't know. People used to say that 'blood is thicker than water' but in this account this brother from another mother can debunk all this sayings. I am blessed with an amazing biological brother but brothers like him really do make me feel as if I am naturally like their sister. I mean, really, you don't need the umbilical cord that connects your mom to yourselves and to your siblings there. I mean we don't even have to talk about it. There is no umbilical cord involved here but the connection is ... how do you even explain it ?. Blessed.
Trust me, I have no idea why I am even writing all this out. Really. Nesha started a conversation about him and asked me some stuff and as I was chatting with her, I got to realise the strength of our bond. It's like a reflective session for me.
Bond is a magical word. God's way of bringing angels to you. I'm lucky because I have such angels around. Like I said, problems happen, egos clashes and what not. But maybe, I would stop feeling the pinch of that bond when I meet the God of death.
I love you Logy Paagy :) - Please don't ask me why I decided to type this out - I really have no answer.
You got coloured @
3:07 pm