Hello blog ! It's been so long since I last blogged. Like seriously. Haha. Anyways, too many things happened and I realise that I've been like using my Facebook statuses to rant out my thoughts. So maybe that explains the absence of posts/entries.

I don't know if anyone still visits my blog but if I still have some fans, then I'm saying this "hola" to you !

Ok. Too many things happened. Where can I start from ?!

My aunt .. My godmother passed away on the 12th January 2013. I'm fucking broken. I really am. You know this was the 1st time she didn't wish me on my birthday. On the 7th January 2013, she was admitted in the ICU ward because she had stopped breathing. We rushed down to see her and I was a little relieved when the doctors managed to revive her but you know, they told us that her lungs have failed. I was really ... broken. I realised then that she would be leaving us soon. I asked my godbrother - Ragha on how long she may live (he's a nurse btw). He told me less than a month. So yes. But she only lived 5 days after that and she passed on. She's an amazing woman. She really is. I feel so sad because.. she doesn't deserve to die out of cancer. You know, I saw her suffering. I did. But I cannot imagine how much Shobi would have seen her mom suffering. That must have been fucking painful. I respect Shobi for going through such a hard time. Although we have our differences, I told myself that I should be there for her as an elder sister. To guide her .. to be there for her in general. It's like an uphill task because an ex-bestfriend, a motherfucker by the name of Silas ruined my relationship with my Chinnamma and her family. I mean we're still as one but there are some hiccups here and there. So I feel really awkward. You know sometimes I wonder if people think if I am acting ... suddenly showering Shobi with the concern, love and affection but honestly I really do love them - especially my Chinnamma. I owe her my life man. She's an angel in my life but I cannot really show this side of me to her .. to her family because I feel awkward. But I know that she is looking down at me now and she will finally see whatever I've been through and everything. For some reason I have this feeling .. that God will let the ones up there go through moments of their lives by showing them snippets of how truthful people have been and so on. I mean will people never know what was the truth ? No right ? There must be a way right ? So I wish, hope, pray that she will see the truth. The side of me.

Chinnamma, I really love you. I cannot bear to see you "trapped" inside an urn. But you really suffered so much ... maybe it's good that you left. But you left like a legend man. You inspired so many people out there. If I ever die, I wish to die like a legend, just like you. Chinnamma, please continue to show me and the others the light. Be our guide in everything that we do :)

Haiz. I feel so sad already.


Anyways, I am directing my 1st music video ever. My first ever directional debut. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B8OSpoGltb4&feature=youtube_gdata_player ( watch the trailer here). You know what's the amazing thing ? I kinda used my pain to do this music video. Alot of people are going to think that I am going to diss someone here. But honestly, I'm not that stone-hearted to do so. If YOU know me well, YOU would know that I will never do such a thing. I CAN do a shortfilm based on whatever YOU have done but what's the point ? I'll only look like a bitch before you. Maybe a psycho on a bitcher note ?!. I still cannot believe that you called me psychotic. Seriously painful sia. I mean of all people, it has to be YOU ?! Someone who I thought knew me well .... Maybe that's the thing. You didn't know me afterall ...  Anyways, thank you so much for that pain. The video looks good man. I owe you alot for this.

Last but not least .. I want to say something as well. Hmmm. Thank you Mr Anil C. He was my ex boss of an "atas" (high class) law firm. He was a fucked up fucker (or so as I thought). But you know, working for him has taught me alot. It has conditioned me into someone better so much. I never understood your pattern, your words, your scoldings and whatnot. But sir, thank you so much. Because of you, I'm thriving now. I have this .... discipline. Thank you sir. Thank you thank you thank you.

Vithiya 'Vitz'

11 Jan 1987

Undergrad (Psychology)

Manchester United

vithiyakumar11@gmail.com

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