Hello world.


For some reason, I feel that my blog is technically a window to my train of thoughts as well as to my heart. *Laughs out loud*. And well, not bad I'm receiving quite a number of hits. Well, I bet not many people know that I was noticing the hit list :P.


Anyways, I am sad. I am definitely very sad but I am not showing it to anyone. Sometimes I just want to plug into my ear piece and listen to all the sad songs in the world and cry to myself. ( And nope, its not my relationship problem. So stop guess-ing :P ). Sometimes, I find comfort in the most cutest of things, also in the things that I least expect to cheer me up. Funny much ?. I guess so.


Firstly, according to the doctor, the lifespan is limited to 365 days. A few days past by already. I am awfully depressed. I didn't expect something like this. Worst way to watch someone slip through your very own fingers. An excruciating pain to watch a loved one suffer. I never believed the facts in the initial stages. I thought people were over-exaggerating till I saw things with my own eyes. I had to slip in and out of the ward to prevent anyone from seeing the tears that welled up in my eyes. I just know that the next few months is going to be awfully painful and that I can still pretend to be strong. * Why let people suffer to appreciate your existence ? *


Next, I was really heartbroken to know how impression can form and break at a single instance. I mean I am vocal about my thoughts and I sincerely don't think anyone can subjugate my thoughts or opinion. I mean I am not saying I am always right. But at the same time, why must I change my opinion to adhere to your needs ?. There's this saying that goes like :- "if loving you was a crime, I would rather be a prisoner". I believe that " if I have to change my character and thoughts to suit your needs then I would rather remain as a negative character in your eyes". But what I can say is, I didn't fake anything to you. I was truthful with everything. So yes. ( Again, this is not for my bf )


Lastly, I can see a huge difference. I mean I am not blind to ignore the early signs. I made myself very clear in the last meet-up and yet I can see a difference and feel it. You see this from this angle :- There are two boxes of apples. So Person A and Person B are asked to look after the apples. Person A tells people that the apples in the boxes are fresh, juicy and crispy. Person B tells people that the apples in the boxes are rotten. So the word of mouth from both Person A and B will continue to travel around the social circle or even the circle within the community. Remember everything is a circle. When you start it, it definitely will come back to you. SO imagine if your perception about an incident or person is not cleared and heavily clouded, are you not spreading the wrong perception to the rest of the people out there ?. I mean never throw your trust into the belief of bottling up your thoughts and emotions. Its not fair to the other party out there too. A bottled up feeling will only exaggerate and intensify the situation. It's always better to clear it there and then.


Like I mentioned, the damage is done. Whether is deliberate or not, doesn't really matter. Everyone is affected not just the close ones. Its not fair to only feel from one side. Everything has 2 sides - even a coin. So please, stop holding grudges on someone for a misinterpretation of information from your side. You may never eventually know both sides of the story then. The only important thing is to untangle just that one person from the mess. That's it. Sometimes we have to sacrifice our very own feelings, justifications for 1 single good - for a greater good. So no use holding grudges.


Sometimes, life is just too simple replete with complications.

Vithiya 'Vitz'

11 Jan 1987

Undergrad (Psychology)

Manchester United

vithiyakumar11@gmail.com

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