Holla back .


I woke up at 6.45 am today . My mom's alarm clock played out on her and I had to pay the price . Well , I cannot wake up by myself . I technically need people to wake me up . So yes , I had to miss school . Of course , I was very productive today .


Anyways , I really think I am ganining weight . The signs are horrifying . Nope , I'm not obsessed with being stick-thin or whatsoever . I strongly believe in being trim and FIT . So , I've decided to start running like before . To be frank , I love running . I can cover 5km a day ( 6 times a week ) and not feel tired . I have this forte for running and I used to have incredible stamina . But I guessed I lost it after secondary school because I didn't train as hard as I did when I was in secondary school . And I HATE being unhealthy . I feel so hungry nowadays . Damn . I think I should revert back to those polynesian ideologies . Damn man . I feel soo agitated with myself . Hmmm it's ok . I need to kick start my mental strength . So I'm going to start . So if any of you happen to see me running around , gimme some words of encouragement . Alright ? . Haha .


Of course , on the contrary , I stuffed myself with FOOD yesterday . I was planning to eat something light but when I opened the restaurant's door , the rich aroma got the better of my insides and I ended up eating a MEAL !! . I know !!




A pose

I'm very very exhausted . Seriously .


Anyways , I've got pictures from the previous week and I uploaded them much earlier , so here it is .


Dance Practice




Yes , thats me doing a hand-stand . Check out my balance man . My dance mate was just holding onto my calves for a pose . But I was literally balancing myself man ! Haha . Anyways , introducing a few members of my dance group - TRANSITION . For this year's round 1 of Danz Arena , both my girls ( myself too ) and guys will be attempting high-risk moves . Haha .

Back with a bang . With more rants and more pictures . So stay focus ..


A levels result


Holla , I apologise for that long absence . Anyway, now coming to blog about my results . It was one of the most sourful and painful experience that I ever got . I mean , its the case of "so near yet so far" feeling . I was totally entrenched with that feeling . Trust me.


I attained A for Management , B for Tamil Literature and U for Economics ** . So my entire result slip screams :- ABUDAA . Yes , I got a total of 3As ( inclusive of my H2 + H1 subjects ) .


Quite frankly, it isn't a bad result slip afterall . But I can NEVER digest the fact that I attained a U grade for my best and favourite subject . That sounds absurd ! . C'mon , I can easily get an A or B , I was in the highest/top band Economics class and I've topped my home class for Economics . So what went wrong ?. How in the world can I attain a U grade ?! . The most funniest thing is , the ONLY subject that I ever had a freaking problem was actually my Tamil Literature and I had to work my ass off for it . And I attained a B for it . So how can I get U for my best subject ?! .


My Economics teachers were shell-shocked and even asked me if I wrote the wrong question number . I mean , I can't exactly remember . I mean I did that a few months back . And all my teachers were asking me to send my paper for re-checking because it was too unbelievable for everyone . I went to MOE to enquire more details and the re-checking process . I was damn pissed when they told me that they can re-check it but they will never allow me to see my script . So what's the point of sending it for re-checking when I can't see my paper . I mean , don't pull that bullshit . Seeing is believing now . And the other factor was , they told me that the paper will only be back after 2 months . The University application would be over by then . So what's the point ?! . Thus , I decided against it .


When I checked out with the respective admission officers from both the local universities , I learnt that I can make it into the local universities because I have a full certificate , my grades aren't bad and my CCA record was strong .


So just to let Mr/Ms Anonymous or my ill-luck wishers or enemies or whoever know , I didn't FLUNK my papers like how you sincerely wished for to happen . I can still make it to the top local universities , private universities , overseas universities and etc . But I'm just freaking hell-bent on making it to NUS's Political Science where Economics is required . I want to do this based on my grades only . I want to attain a certificate which I will be proud of 10 years down the road . And c'mon , Economics is my best and favourite subject , how can I move on without acing it ?. And please , I'm not a freaking hopeless sardine like you , my cowardly nameless nemesis .


My plans


Although I got enveloped with such a great shock and was really dejected , I realised that everything happens for a reason . Trust me , I was freaking mad with God . I even hurled abuses and expletives at him . But when I cool-ed down , I began to gather my thoughts . Its really damn tough to comprehend all this at this juncture but one day , I will see through this and realise that it may have been for the greater good . But for now , I cannot accept this . I will never accept this as my results . I know that there has been a great mistake . It's certain ! . But , I will prove that it was a mistake afterall .


Hence , I have decided to re-take my entire papers because NUS apparently , doesn't accept combined certificate . If I really want to get into Political Science , I need my Economics . And I don't think I have any fear to re-take my papers because I have ace my other subjects once and it wouldn't be tough to ace it again .


The one and only obstacle that I face right now is the fact that I may not be able to re-do my A levels in my school . Well , my grades are apparently good enough and I have a full certificate and this appeal is apparently more for those who didn't do well at all . Thus , I have to wait and see what the school is doing for me because I'm aware that they are teachers who are fighting for me . And if I don't get into my school then I'll have to re-take it as a private candidate . But no matter what , I will be proud that I chose to follow my dream then settle for something lesser . This may seem stupid now but I know that I will be proud some day .


A snippet of blog entry on me by my dearest 9.9 , a friend who means alot to me


then vitz got her results...she did extremely well for her subjects sia....but she got a freakin "U" for econs??like how e heck is that fuckin possible??....she cried like mad sia....i couldnt take it at all.... to see her like that was just .....


vitz cried soo badly,that she got into a kinda drunken/sad/exhausted/irritated state.....she cried n said alot of ridiculous stuff abt killing herself,that made me tear like mad sia....holding back my tears was damn damn diff....sent them to e mrt stn....n walked back home with _____ was really crying already...but e worst was on sat sia.....i never cried like this for anybody,for this long sia....seriously!


3 long hours....i couldnt find anyone to cry to,was literally suffering in silence....o god!....i just couldnt take it sia....i mean....this human totally doesnt deserve this.....wads god playing at???i am so fuckin pissed....she's an awesome human being,with unbelievable confidence n an awesome heart....n she gets this!....wtf?!...


she really was supporting my lazy ass throughout last year.....checkin every now n then if i studied...if i did this...if i did that........n i somehow scrap thru n i totally owe my thanks to her....but to see her like that,really crumbled me big time.....for e first time....i cried myself to sleep...


i really called her an idiot bcos i was cryin (not really bcos of her)...but ya...but i really was like askin myself y e heck i was crying....it really dawned upon me,on how much vitz meant to me....she's been a really gd adviser,motivator...my mini inspiration.....she's always been there for me...


God,my wonderful 9.8 is having problems...pls do somethin abt it laa.....can u atleast show that ur there for her?....ur makin her feel soo lost....u idiot!...DO SOMETHING!


My reply to my 9.9


Ok , dearest 9.9 ( I don't wish to name this person because this person isn't looking for any fame , praise or anything of that sort . But rather a genuine friendship ) . This person didn't even want me to know that that person blogged about me . Honestly I felt damn touched when I first read it . Somehow it gave me the strength to move on rather than to sit and cry . I mean , I have to be strong to motivate those who have put so much of trust on me . When I was crying badly , 9.9 and others went like " Vitz , you're our role model . How can you utter words of dejection . I know you're damn hurt . But we know you as the Comeback Queen , the person who bounces back from every setback " . And then it dawned upon me that this may have happened for a reason . I managed to gather my thoughts together . And I realised that I gain nothing by crying . When I got to know that I could make it to our local universities , I realised that it wasn't that bad afterall . And when I told them that I really wanted to follow my dreams rather than to settle for something else , they simply rejoiced . Well , they have put that trust on me and for that trust alone , I shouldn't fumble . I mean what's the most horrible thing that can happen ? . Enemies or people who hate me can go on and on and on and may diss me . But how long can they even last ? . It's my life and I'm living it my way . At least I have this guts to follow my dreams and I am proud of this strength that I have . I owe this entirely to that supreme being . Because very truthfully , I cannot believe that I am actually strong enough to backtrack to leap forward to greater heights . Thank you God .


9.9 , thanks for being there . I know that you would never think that you actually brought me up because I may be joking around and playing prank on you and etc . But I can tell you that you were the ONE who brought me up first followed by the others . And I owe this new lease of life to you . Thanks for being there . You trusted me once upon that unfateful time and from then on , our friendship grew . Infact stronger and stronger . I'm highly thankful to have met such a great character in my life . Because , like how I have said , I can never imagine a life without you . And I am really so happy to note , that you have become part of me , part of the memories that I will treasure for life . You have proved that within a short span of time , you can become a bestie to me . I mean , I thought only the longer span of time can determine a bestie well enough . But I am glad to call you my bestie alongside Silas . THANKS SWEETHEART !


PS : I promised not to talk about the blog entry but I didn't say that I wasn't gonna blog about it . :D


PICTURE TIME




When I crumbled after my results . I was knocked out actually and the others took this picture to tell me how shattered I was on that day.


MAN U vs LIVERPOOL

Just 2 weeks ago, I heard that the results will be out on the 6th of March . But it wasn't an official message but rather , it was passed through the 'words of mouth' . So I waited till it was confirmed by MOE and all . In short , I doubted the credibility of the 'rumour' . Well , maybe its a tad more defined now than ever eh ? . Anyways lets face the judgement . I would rather call it the uncertain judgement .


Anxiety


Of course , I didn't study as hard and as much as I really wanted to . The potential was there but I guess I let it slip through my fingers . Luck wasn't on my side I guess . I know it sounds absurd to blame it on the surroundings and instances but over the days , I realised how fundamental they may become and so yes . For an example , you can literally see alot of breakdowns and all and the funny thing is , you will become closer to friends who weren't even in your contact list . That's funny , I know . And it is utterly ridiculous to sacrifice your study time to mend those friendships that would vanish into the thin air overtime . All those silly sacrifice wouldn't be worthwhile in the long run .


I totally wish I had reduced those kind of silly sacrifices . All those problems from different people simply made ( and also moulded ) me into a highly agitated person . And instead , I should have channelled more time into studying . I should have stopped my intellectual arrogance . I should have practiced more self-discipline . See the whole spectrum of an endless possibilities ? . Haha , our lives are always full of "what if " , "I should have " , " if only I had " and so on . Also guys , nobody can be 100% prepared . Trust me . So it's always very good to know everything . At least have the gist of those things that you can never remember . It'll help you out in dire situations .


Outcome


I am somewhat surrounded by many people with severely high expectations on me . I know that I did crack under pressure . But I really got no idea on what to anticipate . I believe everyone would have known what are my targetted grades and all . I have also planned the "estimated" grades too . So lets see what the outcome is . But I know that I will never stop here . If I fail to attain satisfactory grades , I will certainly re-do the examination . I mean ," winners don't quit and quitters don't win " . So lets just see . All the best mates .


Workplace


Today , someone from the top management ( I don't wish to name the person for commercial-confidentiality reasons ) , actually told my Supervisor " why aren't SM sending Vithiya for Supervisor's course ? " . My Supervisor instantly replied him saying " I know , I do want that too but Vithiya has got bright future and I definitely cannot ask her to stop her studies and work here . Infact , she's getting her results tomorrow " . Ok , actually I was elated when I heard it . Not because I was hunting for that position . But because , I felt recognised . Haha .


I mean I wanted to really work hard and all . Because I realised that SECURITY is such an important issue . I mean , I cannot reveal all the stuff that I've learnt overtime but I know for sure that it is not an easy task to do this . But yes . I can do alot of things now . For an example , I know how to isolate areas , press the silencer , reset the fire alarm panel buttons , read and decipher the entire fire alarm panel , call CHUBB and inform them of the main things , reset the exhaust fan pipe systems and etc . This list is definitely infinite - inexhaustible . Alot of sensitive issues and all . Haha , and I have already trained 3 people so far . Isn't that cool ? . Most of them are like really older than me . And I can confidently carry out my task because I know what I am doing . I know how to make very important decisions pertaining to SECURITY . Seriously this job is adding fuel to my interest in pursuing a career in the Police Force - namely CID ! Haha . Man ...


Hmm , all in all , I love my friends . I believe that I am spending alot of money because I feel that I have saved enough . Haha . I am sick and tired of not having an iron heart . Yeah ... hmmm ok .


In case you can decipher this : Where were you when I really needed you the most ?


Picture time !!





A picture after 4 hours of heavy laugher

Vithiya 'Vitz'

11 Jan 1987

Undergrad (Psychology)

Manchester United

vithiyakumar11@gmail.com

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