I'm thinking alot quite lately ; well about a million other things about a million other times . I mean , its the period were I get some stuff settled in before the final calling is in . So yes . I'm having my final prelims paper tomorrow and that is - Tamil Literature paper 2 . We're supposed to write 5 essays in 3 hours and each eassy has to be at least 2 and 1/2 page - infact 3 pages is the best . So one has to write approximately 15 pages in 3 hours . I have no problems writing page after page . I mean , I can write up to 5 pages for each essay and end up finishing the paper . My only problem is my deteriorating language . I used to be absolutely bilingual - bagging As for my English as well as Tamil . But now , that's not the case . Hmm , lets see if I can score well with my points .


I don't know why , when the spotlight is on , you tend to over do a few things and end up sucking up at the finals . Such a vast contrast from the absolute winners . But then again " every dog has its day " . But when the day finally dawns upon one , will be going like " yes , I can finally show the world the mettle I'm made up of " or " shit .. what if .. " . Many a times we have those many many many " what ifs .. " . But the point is , you don't act upon it and go on ranting about how you WISHED you have acted upon . Can we live on a diet of hope or a diet of dreams ? . No , not anymore .


Sometimes , I feel that there's no one who share the exact same frequency as me . Well , some do share a little here and there but no one has managed to exactly correlate with my thoughts . I don't have nitty gritty , unworthy , blown out of proportion fragments of the past or exaggerated accounts peppered into my thoughts . But rather , it's sincere . My genuine and sincere thoughts on life in general . So that is why , I've taken into a new habit of saying this to people . And trust me , I'm not blowing it up .


I am a torch of knowledge to those who truly understands me and a madwoman to those who don't .


Finally he has understood the paramount importance of It . Nope , I don't wish to elaborate on the It as yet but it has nothing to do with emotions nor love or whatever shit . But rather , The It here refers to something that someone cannot admit and that is - one's stupidity that brought about the failure of achieving what you could have achieved . He has realised that it's enough of building sandcastles in the air . He's not someone whom I am absolutely seeing everyday but someone whom I know quite well enough and someone who I know is a born genius . Yeap , when I read through his thoughts , I realised a few things and at that juncture , I made a mental note to myself . A note to remind me to never fail .


An ordinary human being can have a millions of a new beginning . But the fact is , do you have that X factor to drive onto that just ONE new beginning ? . Must be of a herculean task but it's not impossible . Many different individuals have shaped my life . When I read through their lives , I have realised that all of them simply rode onto just one new beginning and achieved what they decided to achieve in day 1 . Sometimes , you have to set aside your emotions to allow commitment to bring you forward . Solid emotional support together with commitment would be an ideal but it's almost unlikely a reality . So instead of banking onto the ideals , it's highly wise to bank onto pragmatic traits . Don't you think so ? . You may beg to differ but at the end of the day , this will be your call .


Ragha , who is my godbrother is going to do his A levels soon . Well , we're like planning to mug together . We both have many things in common . And very co-incidentally , we go through similar things in life . So , it's more like , our lives mirrors each others quite well enough . I checked out an entry about his dilemma and I realised that we were going through the exact same stuff currently . So I decided to share my point of view and we came to a conclusion . The typicals are steadfast with their typical thoughts . Typicals will always be typicals . And perhaps , that is why one call them " typical " ( banal , commonplace - whatever you would want to call ) . So its like whether you get smothered by their typical thoughts or you break free from the clutches of those typicals and set your own direction in life . I am certainly the type who walks on the sand and leave my foot print behind for someone else to follow . I guide one and I'm definitely not the type who likes to walk , walk and re-walk on those faded footprint someone else set a long time back . Well , it's not easy to set your own footprint in life . You have to cross many obstacles which take a myriad of forms . But what matters the most is , when you are extremely satisfied with the way your life went when you are lying in your death bed , taking your last breath . I wish to die a happy girl/woman .


Lets see , my thinking about a lot of things . I'm making some serious plans currently on alot of many stuff . Lets see . Sometimes it's very hard to speak your mind when people don't understand your thoughts .

Vithiya 'Vitz'

11 Jan 1987

Undergrad (Psychology)

Manchester United

vithiyakumar11@gmail.com

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