Tuesday, January 29, 2008
Anyways , my cousin - Shobi dropped a bomb on my heart yesterday . Well , if you guys can vividly remember , I published an entry on Kalkieswaran Elangowan ( if you need further reference do check these websites out : ( http://profiles.friendster.com/59732116 & http://www.straitstimes.com/Latest%2BNews/Singapore/STIStory_198225.html ) .
The most depressing thing is , he happened to be Shobi's godbrother and dance mate . The most shocking thing is , he apparently viewed my profile before he died . He met with an accident at 1 am on Saturday and apparently on late Friday night , he viewed my profile .
He viewed my profile for a very valid reason . He was supposed to join my dance group together with Shobi's other dance mates . We were supposed to meet the following week . Honestly , I didn't know that he was part of them . To think about it , if I had known him before his death , I don't think I would have been in a right state of mind to publish an entry about him . Well I would've definitely been a depressed Vitz . But still , at a corner of my heart , I really really feel for him . My heart goes out to a boy who I strongly feel shouldn't have died at a very young age . He had a lot to achieve . RIP man . My deepest condolences .
I particularly HATE death . The only thing that I , to this date cannot accept . I know that it's something that you cannot avoid but given a chance , I would rather trade my life instead of my loved ones . I really don't have the heart to see my loved ones going away to a far faraway land . I would shamelessly confess that I don't possess a strong heart to witness such a scene . I don't know ... I hate death . I hate death . I really really really HATE death . I HATE DEATH !! .
Anyways , that was to be an entry from a depressed Vitz - an Emo Vitz to be exact . Damn . So yes , today was not a great day actually . It started of with a bad morning . I reached school and pulled on a long face . Well , I was pissed . Really pissed .
Robbed . Plainly Robbed .
There was once when Vikram and Pushpa - 2 of SG's most well-known directors once told me that it's quite difficult to survive in the drama world in Singapore - well not only Singapore but everywhere else . There are certain type of people who would shamelessly take credit for other's work . Vikram really warned me a long time back but I guess I held on to my myopic views as strongly as possible . Yeap . I got cheated ; I got robbed . It feels like as though I got stripped of my hardwork . Basically , I wrote a story - more like a framework for a particular drama . I had it planned and all . Suddenly , someone else took the credit for it . I was quite heartbroken . But interestingly , that particular person has the cheek to act like as though NOTHING happened . I told a closefriend of mine that I will control my raging temper for sake of our drama . But I really don't know if I can prolong my patience till the end .
Thoughts -
I told this to Regina - one of the soul who is very very concerned about me and constantly prays for my well-being . She gave me some sound advices . She said this particular thing : " Vitz , honestly ever since I got to know you back in 2006 , I can really say that you went through so much . I've never seen anyone going through that much at a young age but I'm really happy for you . Because God is showing you that he is always with you - he is making you stronger each day . He's testing you now to make you stronger later ...... " . Well , I do agree . I did go through so much of stuff since 2005 - actually way before that . It's just that I don't wish to discuss about my personal issues on an online portal . Actually no one knows EVERYTHING . Only I know 100% . Silas knows around 60% and everyone else lower than that . Regina somewhat knows about 20% at most ? . I may look like an open book . You may think that you can read me up in one night . But trust me , I'm quite complexed .
Actually I'm not embarassed to say this out :- I hate to talk about my personal issues to every Tom , Dick and Harry I meet in my life . The most I can go is to lament about my injuries , stress and etc . Even then , some simply had to jump into a conclusion claiming that I only talk about myself . But I guess some people had forgotten to understand just one fact .. life is all about learning to learn more about someone else other than yourself ; so maybe that means , knowing more about someone else from their own mouth itself ?? . Anyway , if you don't talk about yourself , who does ? . But then again , there's always a reason to why some people simply don't make it into your future . One day when you look back , you'll realise it all . Uh huh ? .
A chain of events . Once I had a bad name . Everyone looked at me like as though I was some garbage - quite ready to be demolished . Somehow , something in me told me NEVER to give up . I came back strong . I proved everyone else how wrong they were . I gained back the respect . Every wise men often say that it's bad to be browbeaten - one should guard their own self-respect . Yes , I believe in that notion .
Have you ever realised something ? . It's always easy to get a bad name . All the bad things in the world can happen really FAST . But it's always very very difficult to achieve a good name , a good status in public and all . Ever wondered why ? . I guess I may have the answer . Firstly , if you really want to succeed in life , you have to go through a process of crossing many hurdles in your way . The path to victory is never a smooth one . It's filled with many many obstacles . God is the prime reason for all this . He's a smart man . He knows that only obstacles make an individual stronger . When he crosses them , his character gets sharpened . He becomes a better person ; he'll know how to behave in future . He'll know how to react should he EVER witness that obstacle again . Amazing isn't it ? . God is like a magician . He works wonders in an individual's life .
I thank God for playing a major role in my life . He will always be with me . I've always told myself that I DON'T wish to be a typical individual . I want to grow into someone who will make a difference in other people's lives . I want to have a meaningful life . If you think that you cannot be involved in my aspiration , then don't bother getting close to me . I don't need to surround myself with people with typical notions or with people who believes in incurring a bagful of sins so as to redeem themselves for their past , present and future behaviours or perhaps with people who don't believe in having a meaningful life .
Hardwork Pays off
On a final note , I am very very pleased to congratulate my junior - Beetsma Diana Husna Zamily . She topped the entire sec 5N cohort for her O' levels . She bagged 7 distinctions - 6 A1s and 1 A2 . Kudos babe . Beauty with brains - uh huh - not forgetting the fact that she was a hockey and floorball player for Swiss Cottage too ! .
God bless . When there's comfort , there's no growth
You got coloured @
9:10 pm