The unpredictability of the colour .
[c]d4rkang3l
Wednesday, July 04, 2007
Anyways peep , don't forget to check out the new pictures that I've uploaded after this post . It's gonna be a long post btw .


REFLECTIONS


Holla , a long absence from the blogging world. This is a testament to my busy life. Anyways , today's
entry is going to be long . This entry is going out to all my avid readers. I promised them this entry and so
yeah , here it is.



REFLECTIONS as I call it . A simple truth . I'm on the quest for the path of virtue . I'm starving for truth and this entry
is going to reflect alot on the past happenings in my life as well as to throw down the gauntlet to that someone.



Let me start of with an excerpt of the conversation I had with my family .



Dad : Vithiya , come here and sit. I need to talk to you
Me : Hmmm ... ok *puzzled*
Dad : So , what's wrong with you ? Why are you like this ?
Me : Huh ! .. nothing .. why ?
Dad : c'mon la . You are my daughter and don't tell me that I cannot read the signs. Anyway ,

I just wanted to tell you this . It's very common to get your heart wounded at this age.
You are still young . This is not the end. You will meet many others along the way . Keep
your heart open for them .If you are sincere , you will find your true love : The MAN of
your dreams .
Mom : Yes , so my dearest daughter , don't be sad , We are here for you . You don't have to tell

us who it is and all . But please don't be like this.
Dad : Oh yes ! 1 more thing , I've always been proud of you my daughter . Because you know

it well enough that you are an achiever . You bounced back from the pit and became a
winner . You made me proud . So even now , I know deep down that you will make me
proud no matter what . Get some time to reflect and you'll be through it . Because
you are an achiever and nothing can stop you . I know it .


This was it . I couldn't stand it and so yeah , I broke down . My mom and dad immediately came over to my side and gave me a solid hug . That hug so reminded me
that I have them . My 2 precious people in my life . Thanks mom and dad .



After that , my brother called me to the room and he spoke to me .
Brother : Don't tell me that you were attached to ________ . Well , you cannot lie anymore cos I know it from the start . I saw your pictures in the computer . It's just that I didn't wanna ask you about it . I tell you something , you definitely deserve someone better . Fuck that ________. If I had known about that person's character much earlier , I swear to God that I would've done something to that person . You don't worry ok . Forget that ________.
After saying all these , he hugged me and gave me a kiss . At that juncture I was amazed . I was looking at a brother who was protective of his sister . Cool eh ? . I know it .
But honestly peeps , I was swamped by an avalanche of emotions on that day . Wooo . What a day .



To you , yes YOU .


Your name is certainly synonymous to lying , cheating and betrayal . Why ? . Because I see you as the facsimile of betrayal . You definitely had a colossal amount of tricks up your sleeve . I cannot believe that you cheated me . I fucking loathe you and I'm serious with this . I go into a paroxysm of rage when people mention your name . Well guess what , you played with the wrong person .


You can really fabricate good romantic pick up lines and dialogues that would bring top-class hindi directors like Karan Johar and Yash Chopra to shame . So much so for being so artsy-fartsy. Oh oops , so much so for being in drama I suppose. Anyway , I've decided to send our real-life story to one of those directors . Well it's going to be a box-office hit . What do you expect ?. I'll be made into a millionaire once the movie hit the cinemas . You know what is the title of the movie ? I've requested him to name it as " Pyaar Ka Naam Leke Tumne Mujhe Thoka Diya Hai " . The english translation is " You have used the word LOVE to cheat on me " .



I was in my own world , operating on my own alpha mode, living life to the fullest. I was actually living in my own version of a utopian world , basking into that modern-day colourful utopian dreams . At that point in time , my entire utopian dream got shattered by someone whom I call "Runway" . Well , my readers may ask why I call that person "Runway" . Well , it's a beautiful term coined by one of my close friends and the explanation behind the term is as follows .
Planes generally use the runway for a good stop and for a good take off . After using it for a gargantuan number of times , the planes will ditch it . The basic function of the runway is to be USED and get USED . That's it . Enough said I suppose .
Runway came into my life as an acquaintance turned friend. Things took a nose-dive and escalated into deeper bonds.



I did love you . I really did . Although I didn't harbour any feelings for you in the initial stage , your acts of love , your undivided attention , your unconditional love , your blazing warm hugs and everything else gave me so much of happiness . So I decided to take the shot and get serious with you . So what did I get in return ?
You planted seeds of jealousy in me , you stirred up feelings of uncertainty and made me go through a period of slump . You admitted to me that you were reason behind the problems that cropped up between us . So what was the rationale behind all this ?
Heck , I should've considered the signs . You are the facsimile of betrayal . So why did I even succumb to the upswing of the dizzying entice that you put me through ? . Blame it on my pliant nature . I trusted you . I thought that you were sincere . But hell NO .


You told others that you went through mental torture when you were with me . You made it sound like as though I abused you . I would really request you to have a reality check . I went through MENTAL torture when I was with you . It is certainly a herculean task to accept changes . Accepting you made me go through ALOT of changes . I was met with a firestorm of uncertainties yet I told myself to trust you . I constantly saw the sword of Damocles hanging over my head but I chose to ignore it . Why , because I trusted you . I fucking compromised on my beliefs and principles just to be with you . All because I thought that you were honest and sincere with your feelings .



You used your alter ego called Peed to cheat me . Well , I admit it , I got cheated . You threw me into a web of deceit . You pushed me into the chamber of sins . I just wish I had seen your dark motives through your iris but then again , your true intentions got masked by the innocence that you face and smile portrayed . " Never judge a book by it's cover " .


Let's compare and contrast now .



Since I really loved you , I went through a period of slump . I couldn't eat nor sleep . All I ever think about about YOU . I couldn't even study . I didn't do all these to cause some kinda injurious effect onto my body but it was merely because I was attacked by a powerful weapon called Guilt that completely ate the living daylight out of me . I could feel it sucking away my life . I was dying every minute and every second . I was teetering onto the brink of extermination . All I ever wanted was YOU . But you threw me into a corner . You moved on very easily .


You sent me an sms saying " I keep seeing your pained face you had yesterday . It's killing me cos I wanna come back to you but I can't " . I was pretty excited at it . Well I thought that you still loved me . So i decided to compromise on my self-respect and I stooped so low for you with the belief that you would accept me back . But unknown to me was the fact that you were attached to someone else . I remember asking you how much time you will take to move on . You replied saying " I'm not that heartless la " . But then again , if i'm not wrong , you got attached to that person instantly after breaking up with me - On the SAME day that you broke up with me . Right ?. To my knowledge , I know that couples who go through a bad break up need time to move on . In fact , my friend Suhana ( who went through a bad break up ) told me that she cannot think of another man this soon . So was your love true ? . Did I play the victim or was I made the victim ?.



I would've remain the way I was if it wasn't for that someone . I would've gradually exterminated due to depression . But thanks to that someone , I got to know alot about you -- Enough to judge you and enough to know that you cheated me . Thanks to my saviour that I got to know alot of things about you and your past . I suddenly feel so pregnant with juicy details about you . The starvation for and the quest for the truth know no limits I should say . It was definitely an eyebrow-raising , oops sorry , DOUBLE eyebrow-raising truth about you . Oh my God .


You told me that I shouldn't trust Izzah and Jay . But guess what , they were feeling my pain . They were there for me . They constantly checked out on me . Izzah even suggested to study with me to ensure that I was fine . My large circle of friends were there for me too . Where were you ?. What happened to all your feelings ? . I thought that you sent me a myriad of emails , letters and what-not to tell me how much you loved me . So was that all a facade ?.


Someone wise, once said that " A leopard never changes its spots " . How true . When you told me about your past -- the one where you were involved in an affair with your friend's lover , I thought that you have changed but then again , how could have forgotten that a Leopard NEVER changes its spots . Such a golden phrase . You treated me like your disposable toy . You told me that I disgust you . Why because I told someone something right ? . But coming to think about it , you LIED to me and that's making me feel super disgusted too .



I believe I remember asking you " how far you went with your ex " . I hope you can remember what you told me . If what I did is coined as disgusting then what you did with partners number #1 to number #6 is ..... HOLY SHIT ! I cannot even think of the term to use . The term " Disgust " would clearly become an underestimation to the shit that you did . Oh yes ! . You went around telling people that I was interested in you ? . Since when ?? . Reality check again . Who was after me ? Who asked me out ? . Well considering the sins that that Runway committed , I think I'll be elevated to the pedestal equivalence of God .



Oh man . " Good riddance to bad rubbish " You sure ??. I strongly think that it is supposed to be MY line . Thank God . I got rid of that filthy , rundown , re-usable ____________ [ Insert word here ] . I thought that I was the cause for the entire break up . But you know something , now it's clear to my love-struck numbskull that it was all a plan that you and your collection of dust came up with. Heck , don't try to deny it. You basically toyed with my feelings . You needed someone else who can satisfy your needs and that's it . Love for you is nothing but LUST .



Give me a gun and I swear I'll pull the trigger. It's the accumulation of rage -- merely because of the cunning way in which you chose to cheat me. I'll gladly nail you down -- anytime. But maybe I shouldn't waste my time since the world is full of rubbish collectors. We should all be proud that the world is populated by an influx of rubbish-collectors. They gladly collect your rubbish ( the after-remains ) and help you to recycle them. Ain't the world so great ?.



Anyways , don't ever take me for a fool . I can do ANYTHING to nail you down but I'm not like that and it's not my job to do that to you . I've got better things to do . This love which gave me ephemeral happiness was based on the foundations of lies , cheatings , lust , betrayals and manipulations . So it's always right to disregard you and treat you like a scum-bag . You love to change partners like how you change your underwear ?



In my opinion , I believe that only prostitutes are the only ones who love being used and all. Infact they are the ones who are downright desperate in their attempts to seduce their customers into providing them with the sexual pleasure but heck .. so what does it make you into ? At least , they get money in the end . So what do you achieve in the end ? A countless list of EX ?? whom you try to get back as your friends by using common tag line like " I love you a lot but it's just that I cannot be with you anymore "


You told me that you new found toy is going to punch me and confront my friends . So when is it ? FYI , we're eagerly waiting for it . I cannot believe that you can underestimate my capabilities and abilities . Haha . You mocked at me when I told you that I can always punch back . You told me that I run away at the sight of a cockroach and so how then can I punch back . Well , I've got 2 words for you " TRY ME " . I've gotten hit by solid hockey balls and hockey sticks before . If I can take that , I can take your toy's shit too . But guess what , it'll take only a slight provocation to ignite me . Once I lose control , there's no way , and I swear no way in which you can tame me . So yes . TRY ME .



Last but not least , why are you toying with people's feelings ? . Partner number #1 to number #7 ? WHY ? . Do we look like puppets to you -- for you to use them for your own selfish purpose ? . You don't believe in retribution AKA Karma ? Or is it a term so commonly used that it's losing it's intensity ? Heck , I beg to differ . Well , wait and see , time will tell . In fact , the game has started . The domino effect caused by you on that monday morning served as a gentle reminder to you . Karma ... haha . Good Luck .



An angel's smile is what you sell
you promise me heaven, then put me through hell
Chains of love got a hold on me
when passion's a prison, you can't break free


Shot through the heart
and you're to blame
You give love a bad name
I play my part and you play your game
You give love a bad name
You give love a bad name


Pastamania Outing with Mr Daryl Chris Wilfred aka Mr D on 16/6/07


The first time Mr D called me , we spoke for like hours . We were talking about you-know-who on you-know-what for 2 hours . After that , we got so bored of talking about you-know-who . So we moved on to talk about sports . We ended up talking for like 5 hours and 20 mins . Soon , we decided to brush our teeth , eat breakfast and shower . After that , Mr D called me at 3pm and we ended up talking until 9pm . We decided to take a break to have our dinner and to rest our ear . Then we were chatting online and at around 12 midnight , Mr D called me again and we carried on talking until 6.30am . Yes . Haha . It was really hilarious .


So since we had alot to talk on , we decided to go out . Mr D suggested to go out on 16th .


Mr D decided to come all the way to NUS to pick me up . Well I was there for my drama rehearsal so yeah . After that , we head to Cineleisure . We had an interesting double-decker bus ride to Cineleisure . Mr D , was so nice enough to treat me to my favourite Marinara . In fact , we both ate Marinara . It was quite cool . We were talking about Vampire hockey sticks and shot corner when Mr D's eyes suddenly lit up . And he went like :


MR D : Vivi , have you tasted Deer meat before ?
Me : Hmm .. no
Mr D : WHY !! OH MY GOD . Deer meat is orgasmic . You should try it .
Me : You mean , you'll get orgasm when you eat deer meat ?
MR D : HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA



He continued laughing for like the next 30 mins and I started laughing because I was very intrigued by the way he laughed . His laughter was highly contagious . Haha . The diners at Pastamania gave us " What's wrong with them " kind of look . It was pretty hilarious . Just then , I stopped laughing and Mr D was still laughing . I got slightly irritated that I took the glass that contained the Iced water and I aimed it at his face . He gave an instant SCREAM . I was taken aback . He basically SCREAMED !! . Oh my god . Then he told me the story about his 2 front teeth . Haha and I started laughing .


After that , we walked to Esplanade . It was around 8pm by then . We spent the night there . It was a VERY beautiful day . At around 11+ , we took the bus home . Mr D was very nice enough to drop me right outside my doorstep and when I was going to unlock my gate , he gave me something . I was quite shocked but I was quite cool enough to regain my composure .




My Die Hard 4.0 outing with Resh


Dearest Resh and I decided to catch the Transformers at Bugis . But all the tickets were sold out . So we travelled to Plaza Singapura . The tickets for the Transformers were selling out fast. With crossed fingers , we asked them for 2 tickets to Transformers and the man at the counter said " Oh , but it's single seating . " Resh went like " Oh god .. forget it then " . Haha . So we decided to watch Die hard 4.0 .




We had about an hour to waste and thus , we went for dinner. After eating , I accompanied him to buy a beanie. I chosed that grey beanie for him and he looked cool in it. Suddenly , I checked my watch and the time was 8.28pm . I was like " Resh , 2 mins for the movie to start !!!" . He went like " Oh shit , I need to buy M&M !! . " So we rushed to the nearest 7-11 and ran back to the theatre. We did free-style running and that's when Resh told me that he’s into Par Kour . How cool ! .




While watching that movie , the intelligent Resh found out that the arm rest can be moved. So he pushed it back and we watched the movie. Well we had fun to sum it up. And yes , I have to tell this to you resh , You've always got my shoulders to cry onto and you know it well enough .






You got coloured @
12:04 am
[c]d4rkang3l

The dudette


Vithiya 'Vitz'

11 Jan 1987

Undergrad (Psychology)

Manchester United

vithiyakumar11@gmail.com

Her Loves


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Unconventional ideologies

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Secrecy

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Backstabbers

Flirts

Arrogance

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