The unpredictability of the colour .
[c]d4rkang3l
Friday, September 16, 2005
Those moments were the time when I was Really Happy .. Like everyone else ; having a very good time playing the sports that I really loved ( am still loving ) .

It's my life
It's now or never
I ain't gonna live forever
I just want to live while I'm alive(It's my life)
My heart is like an open highway
Like Frankie saidI did it my way
I just wanna live while I'm alive
It's my life

It's my life by Bon jovi .

A very inspiring song though . I used to love this song , especially blasting it out loud before going for a match . My only aim ( when I ever played a match ) was to never let the opponent get pass me . NEVER ! And I really mean it .. till today .

Emotions override me .. ( due to the burdens it's been carrying all long ) . Even older oceanic crust ( which is denser ) overrides another oceanic crust . This is exactly how the philosophy or concept as I preceive it to be , works . I don't care if you want to call me an emotional wreak or anyother freaking name or labels . The bottomline is , at least you manage to understand my feeling . Yes . I will not deny the fact that I am not feeling normal . I just cannot pretend to feel normal ! I cannot !

On tuesday , we had PE . I felt good because I could run , but I realised that my stamina level was freaking low ! However I was happy with the fact that I could run . Later on , as it was raining ( god dedicating those drizzlies for me ? ) , and the PE teachers gave a talk to us . Mr Roslan said that , according to the school's custom , if an individual can get gold award for his/her NAPHA test for 3 years in a row , he/she will be given some gold badge thingy . My heart just shattered into smithereens . I've been getting gold , infact almost perfect score for NAPHA test for freaking 6 years . Now I am losing 1 year of my MI life not getting anything to myself ?? . To me , every single achievement that I make in sports , is something of a pride to me .. not as a platform to boast it around . I don't know how to express the way I feel towards sports . Sports is really the only interest in life for me ( apart goals ) . WHY ? I might even sacrifice my marriage ( in future ) for sports . Because no other thing can ever bring me that kind of happiness that I get from winning and playing !

OK . Let's take a look at my ( sports ) medals . The medals I won back in secondary school .

GOLD - 1500 m ( 2002 )
- Cross Country ( team event ) ( 2002)

SILVER - Cross Country ( Individual ) (2002)
- 4 x 100 m ( 2003 )
- 4 x 400 m ( 2004 )

BRONZE - 400 m ( 2002 )
- 800 m ( 2002 )
- 6th SFA SCHS FLOORBALL (4th ) Team ( 2002 )
- 200 m ( 2003 )
- 4 x 100 m ( 2004 )

These are my achievements from my sports day and 1 floorball competition . Excluding other sports-related awards I recieved . Maybe .. all these achievements was fated to stop at secondary school level ( perheps ) .

I feel so cursed . Nothing seems good in life . Nothing taste good in life anymore . NOTHING .
I don't know what to do . I am lost . I am confused . I might give up afterall .. what's left with having low self esteem ?? What is left ? Nothing . Self-confidence completely gone and depression ; the outcome = DEATH ? . Maybe I am not too cowardly enough to do it ? . I have enough of this . I accept defeat . I used to think that I will never say the word DEFEAT in my life but .. neither did I know , it happened to soon ?

Back in secondary school , my hamstring injury was a constant pain in my neck .. and now in MI ... it's my knee inkury that's bugging me ! . On thursday , we ( the girls ) played soccer . I admired my friend Bobbie play . Honestly I did that . She simply reminded me of the time when I was soo into sports ( when I was healthy ) . I was feeling totally blacklisted . YES . I could not run well with the ball , let alone score . Today , I and a few others played netball , captain's ball and volleyball .. That was then when I realised that I was infact a total outcast . I could not jump , run ( like before ) and NOTHING !! MAN !! It's tearing my heart !!! WHY !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bazlee told me then , that he was going for knee operation on Nov 11 . ( with no choice as his is ligament torn ) . I could understand the way he felt . He had a sad face . YES I SHARE IN YOUR FEARS , WORRIES AND EVERYTHING that you are feeling now . I know that sport is not going to be in your life for quite some LONG time . I liked your spirit when you played with me ( the 2 knee inkury freakos .. ) . Man .. You tried your best jumping .. but realised that you had the pull ... just like the way I'm feeling ...

I've lost everything in life . Nothing can uplift my spirit at this moment !

Thank you god . I like it ! .. I really do !!



You got coloured @
8:28 pm
[c]d4rkang3l

The dudette


Vithiya 'Vitz'

11 Jan 1987

Undergrad (Psychology)

Manchester United

vithiyakumar11@gmail.com

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